Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Obeying The Lore (Part Two)

At last, things are underway.

I've dissembled Data and put him in a crate marked "Nowheresville Warehouse.". It's the traditional place where items go and are never heard from again.

I certainly don't want to see my do-good brother again; he had his chance to join me, but turned it down. I it's time for good ol' Lore to set the wheels in motion.

Now I've got to pose as Data and be on the Enterprise until I get it destroyed, or the people on it suffer a nasty fate. It's a bit of a downer playing Data, but the end result will cheer me up no end.

"Data! Where are you?"

It's Picard's voice.

He comes up to me and asks where I've been for ages.

"I thought the most likely clues would be in a quiet place where no one usually goes, Captain." I tell him, "So I checked thoroughly."

It's so hard not to remember not to use contractions with these idiots; they might be slow, but they spot things like that right away.

"Good thinking, Mr Data" says Picard.

What a gullible human he is. He'll believe anything I tell him. If I told him it was day and it was night, he'd accept it.


About 15 minutes later, we have 'caught' the murderer. It's an assistant of Dr Rou named Damal. I've set him up as the patsy, and cooked up enough evidence against him so that he HAS to be guilty.

Balas is satisfied and the mission is over.

As we come off the Enterprise transporter, Troi starts with her Betazed theories.

"Captain" she says, "I'm not sure if Damal is the killer; he stresses he is innocent, and I can tell that in his mind he believes he is."

"Perhaps, Deanna" suggests Picard, "He blacked out the incidents and truly believes he is innocent?"

Great, Captain; thanks for helping me out there!


Later, while walking in the Enterprise corridor, I am greeted by a great-looking brunette.

"Hi Data!" she says, "Are you looking forward to our date tonight?"

This must be Jennifer Baxter, Data's girlfriend; not bad, Data, you have good taste in the ladies, I must say.

"Sure, Jenny, honey" I tell her, "You're my number one babe"

Oops. I think I was distracted by her, and forgot where I was.

"You're not Data!" shouts Jenny, "Data doesn't use contractions, and doesn't use compliments like 'babe' and 'honey'. I'm calling the Captain.."

Jenny is quickly stunned by my phaser. Too bad; I guess that's our date for the evening gone. I guess I'll be looking in the android 'lonely hearts pages' soon.

In a hurry, I gag her and put her in a nearby Jeffries Tube.

Things are starting to look a little anxious already. I'd better start putting things in motion to destroy this ship before anyone misses her.

To be continued...


UngaMan said...

poor Jenny... :(

The Curmudgeon said...

The Nowheresville Warehouse? Is that where all the missing socks are too?


P.S. -- that joke was funnier the first two times I tried to post it. Captain, I think Lore has sabotaged the Comments section as well.

Professor Xavier said...

Hey, don't knock the Nowheresville Warehouse! That's where I forward all the junkmail I get.

Lahdeedah said...

I once lived in Nowheresville.

The warehouse is the big local employer. When the Nowheresville Warehouse hits overflow, they send crates of the older stuff to East Bumfuck.

Squirrel said...

Is that close to Nowhere, Oklahoma?

What a horrible android this guy is!!!

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Oh no..!

Darth Nepharia said...

What a delightfully evil android. Where do you find them? I could use one to wreck all sorts of havoc.

Nic said...

Bad 'droid! *SMACK* You will get yours, oh, yes you will.

Viamarie said...

Gosh! If I happen to come across one, I would probably run as fast as I can.

Happy Wednesday!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Professor X is a Noweheresville man waiting for somebody...


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Nowheresville is usually where I am when I am lost and asking for directions.

Nic & the Squirrel are on one side, whereas Darth Nepharia seem on the other!

Ellee said...

Who will come and rescue Jenny, some dashing hero I hope.

mrsmogul said...

And you;re not the CAPTAIN! He wouldn't stick a girl in a Jeffrey's TUBE!

(umm what the hell is a Jeffrey's Tube?)

Erifia Apoc said...

I suspect some droid thongings need to be given... Just tell me when Dat-s.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

ack.... Lore is really evil are you sure he isn't in league with the Dark side???



Captain Berk said...

I like your style, Lore.

Knocking them out before the date saves so much time later on.

Shelley said...

Sheer evil that Lore is. Poor Jenny! She didn't even get the chance to use a good wrestling move on the imposter.

Jaime H. said...

Ugh! I hate Lore. Jerk.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

There's a few hisses and boos around for Lore, just like the best villains.

Mrs Mogul, as I'm sure many know, a Jefferies Tube are those crawlways and corridors around the ship that crewmembers use to reach critical systems.

Deadpool said...

Picard I'd like to invite you to join the Apprentice Merc addition. you can pm me at heroes united if you're interested.

dragonflyfilly said...

oh yeah, i got stuck in one of those once (Jeffries tubes i mean)...when i was stalking someone...serve me right, eh?

MysteriousLady said...

Well i usually pic Enya or Celtic woman. It's relaxing. Some people hate blog music, guess they can't listen and read. So I always have a way for them to turn it off. Right now I have a you tube up honoring 9/11 so I don't have music up.

Now you need to have the star trek theme!

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