Sunday, September 17, 2006

Finding The Author

I'm really annoyed; despite the intention of looking in the Enterprise Library, I haven't been able to find a copy of 'Vanessa' by Ruth Everson.

It had a really, err...interesting start when the shuttle computer started reading it last week, but suddenly it had broke down and deleted the database.

I check with the computer again, while in my Ready Room.

"Do you have the text of 'Vanessa' by Ruth Everson anywhere?" I ask.

"Negative."

"Why not?" I demand to know.

"The book has just been deleted by Starfleet as it has been deemed unsuitable for reading, along with 'The Little Engine That Could' and 'Little Noddy Goes To Toyland'." the computer states in an officious manner.

Good grief.

I try another tack.

"Are there any other books by Ruth Everson in the Enterprise Library" I ask, hoping that there might be a similar book.

"Negative, except for a book written in the 21st Century about Scientology."

"It's not her!" I shout.

Data comes in; maybe he knows something?

"Have you heard of Ruth Everson, Data?" I inquire innocently.

"Yes, Captain." I believed she lived in the 21st Century and..."

"Not her!" I say tiringly, "I mean the author of 'Vanessa'!"

Data thinks for a moment, as if his memory chip is reading the book; lucky him.

"The Ruth Everson in this Century only wrote 'Vanessa' five years ago." he tells me, "She has not written another book since. Miss Everson is very reclusive, and although her publishers have urged her to write another book, she has declined, by saying she has other things to do. No one knows where she is right now."

This is ridiculous; when Data leaves, I turn on my monitor and get in contact with 'Racy Reads', the publishers of 'Vanessa'.

A seedy looking man appears on the screen; he says his name is Rick Racy.

"Yeah, Captain" he tells me with a drawl, "Vanessa" is a popular read of ours. Since it has been banned, it's popularity has soared. Wish we could get Ruth to write another one."

"What do you know about her?" I ask.

"I know that her real name isn't Ruth Iveson" states Racy.

"What is it then?" I ask.

"Hold on, keep your hair on" laughs Racy, "I'll look for it in the files....oh yeah, Ruth's real name is Beverly Crusher."

--------------

Later, I'm in SickBay with Beverly.

"Why didn't you tell me that you wrote 'Vanessa', Beverly" I ask.

"Well, Jean-Luc" she replies, "I didn't want you to think different of me knowing that I wrote that book. Besides, being on the Enterprise took all my time up to write another book. Please don't tell Wes, or any of the other crew-members."

"It'll be our secret" I tell her, "But I do have one request; do you have a copy of your book anywhere?"

"I happen to have one hidden right here that was given to be when it first came out." she says, "Would you like me to read some of it."

"Err..yes please, Beverly."

As Beverly opens the book to start reading, I close this particular entry in my Journal.

22 comments:

Erifia Apoc said...

So its one of the Pillow Books, I've heard so much about. Can I barrow it after you are done?

Sim said...

Ahh - so the secret side of Dr Crusher is revealed. Did her first reading recital go well? ;)

Darth Nepharia said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I would have LOVED to be a fly on the wall during that recital. I wonder just how long the reading lasted before, um, other activities took place?

Princess Rose said...

I am so curious now to know what kind of reading is unsuitable for Starfleet. The Little Engine that Could? Does that make any sense?

I've got a Star Trek post coming up Monday.

Paperback Writer said...

Lucky, Captain!

;)

Florence said...

Beverly didn't sound at all surprised by your discovery, was she tipped off by Mr Racey?

Merlyn Gabriel said...

wow, that was a surprise... I don't suppose you'll share snippits if the book with us will you???

hugs
-merly

squirrel said...

How sexy, she's gonna read it to you!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm afraid I can't share the contents of the book with you, as it has been banned by Starfleet. I do understand copies are selling for high costs on the underground market.

Napharia, what 'other' activities were you suggesting?

verniciousknids said...

Michele sent me to inform you that one of the cable channels over here in Japan is in the midst of a "40 hour Star Trek marathon". Saturday was "Star Trek Best Episodes". Sunday and today was "Star Trek Enterprise 4"! Over and out.

Trinity13 said...

Oh nice...what a lucky man you are!!!

The Curmudgeon said...

Captain, with your new interest in serious literature, I'm surprised you've found time to review these comments....

And here's the confession: Before I read today's exciting episode, I ran "Ruth Everson" through Amazon.com -- just to see what I was missing....

Jaime H. said...

Captain! How risque! And in Sickbay, too! :-)

Lahdeedah said...

It's not really fair, I mean, since you read the book and it's forbidden, and you knew it was forbidden, shouldn't you be thrown in the brig for that?

Also, shouldn't Beverly, too? Because she wrote it. Shouldn't she be banned?

I bet if you just shared a copy of the book, nobody would have to get thrown in the brig...

I bet Data has it memorized.

Nic said...

GASP!!!!

OMG!!!!

I am in SHOCK over here. SHOCK I tell you!

Who knew that Bev would have such a verrrrry naughty side to her? Well, then again, she is a redhead.

I hope you and Bev enjoyed the little tete a tete over her *AHEM*oralrecitation*AHEM* of her surprisingly spicy, "blue" book.

Even so, this is one I would rather NOT have the details on. Some things are better left to the imagination. ;)

Jim McKee said...

Captain, you sly dog, you!

;-]

Merlyn Gabriel said...

Yaaaarh Happy international talk like a pirate day!

I hope that Beverly shivers yer timbers cap'n

*giggle*

Ellee said...

So more is to come then, now that you have the use of a very special copy.....

Osquer said...

Avast, Merlyn Gabriel! Arrrr!

A carousing International Talk Like A Pirate Day from me as well!

Sounds like the wench has a silver tongue! Ye'd best be makin' good use of it! 20 lashes says I!

Miss Cellania said...

Oh man! I told you I had a Star Trek post on Monday, but I was signed in under my kids' profile! Come see it at Miss Cellania.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Is it International Like A Pirate Day? Avast! Hoist the Jolly Roger!

Lahdeedah, you are talking technicalities; after all, Bev is the author.

Nic, sometimes the imagination xan make the book seem even better when not knowing the contents!

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