We are all in our dress uniforms waiting by the transporter to welcome the Drakulon Princess, Vampirella, as we take her to Earth.
"I've never heard of her" says Beverly.
"Oh, I err... chatted to her at a a small social party on 16th September" I tell her.
I hope this isn't going to be awkward.
"Well I heard that she'll be coming in her full battle uniform" Riker tells us.
"Ah" comments Worf, "Vampirella must be a real soldier, able to defeat the enemy very easily; able to taste their blood."
"You could say that, Mr Worf" I comment.
The transporter hums, and Vampirella materialises.
She runs to me, with a smile, and gives me a big kiss on the cheek.
"Hello Jean-Luc" she beams, "So good to see you again after my 200th party. Sorry if I got a little tipsy, but you were naughty in bringing that bloodwine. Did you know it would get me drunk?"
I go red, and Beverly glares at me.
"Put your eyes back in your head, Will!" Deanna whispers to Riker.
Beverly marches forward and looks her over from top to toe.
"Welcome...err..Princess Vampirella" she says with an irritated tone, "Did you forget to bring your battle armour? You seem to just have your underwear on"
"This IS my battle armour" she replies, "And call me Vampi; all us girls have got to get on, haven't we?"
Even Seven is lost for words as Vampi departs with all the men following her every word, and the women looking annoyed.
"I'll have my feed in an hour, Jean-Luc" Vampi casually informs me.
"What will she be eating?" asks Riker, who is still looking at her as Deanna pulls him back.
I tell him.
"Lots of blood, Number One".
"And you'll be her first feed, Jean-Luc" says Beverly icily, "I'll make sure of that."
Riker and I look at each other. This could be a long trip.
We are nearly at Earth, and Beverly hasn't spoken to me since Vampirella arrived on the Enterprise ; Riker tells me that Deanna hasn't spoken to him either, despite the fact the Vampi has kept to her cabin throughout the journey. The atmosphere has been chillier than the planet Xegenon 9
I am then summoned to SickBay; Beverly and Vampi are both there, along with Deanna and Riker.
"I've had a girl talk with Bev & Deanna" says Vampirella, "It seems that my appearance has caused a little friction between Jean-Luc & Bev and Will & Deanna. I'm really sorry about that. Sometimes I seem to do that, although I don't know why."
I can't think why. either!
"That's ok" say Beverly "We've decided to make up with them."
"That's great; well, as compensation, I've decided to give both you ladies each a spare outfit I have. I hope you'll like them."
It looks like Riker will, as he smiles wide enough to eat four donuts.
"Thanks, Vampi" says Deanna.
After Princess Vampirella has left, with a case of Klingon bloodwine, Beverly turns to me.
"I'll have to go, now, Jean Luc" she tells me, "I have a new outfit to try on."
For crossover, see Vampirella