Monday, August 22, 2005

Q At The Helm


Humans are so strange, aren't they?

They never fail to fascinate me with their absurd behaviour in all sorts of situations. The way they react when something happens makes them the peculiar beings that they are.

I decide to visit my old friend Jean-Luc Picard; whenever I do, I can be assured of a good laugh; this I needed, as my colleagues in the Continuum had beaten me at poker again.

Naturally, I like to make an entrance; at the time, Jean-Luc and his cohorts were in full diplomatic uniform meeting some nonentities.

How stuffy; time to liven it up a little.

I changed to uniforms to Mexican ones, put a cigar in their mouths and created a band playing lively music.

Much better! Then I appeared.

"Greetings mon Capitano!", "Your old pal Q thought he'd drop in."

Jean-Luc looked livid; he always tends to put that expression on when I visit him.

"Q!!" he bellowed, "Not now!"

There never seems to be a good time; he always pretends he's doing something important.

"This is very important!" he said, "The Zetek delegation, who are right here, are very formal, and will not tolerate your sort of behaviour. We want them to join the Federation. Now please go away!"

"Oh, Jean-Luc, they are not that important; they need loosening up in their diplomatic skills."

I transform the Zetek uniform into Mexican ones as well.

They look at each other and walk out in disgust.

"Q, you've ruined eighteen months of careful negotiations; do you realise the trouble I'll get into at Starfleet?"

"I'll put in a good word for you, if you like, Jean-Luc."

"You've done enough damage as it is, Q"

That's typical; he's never grateful for all the favours I do him.

It makes me wonder how he gets anything done witrh the crew he has.

Riker has been Commander for so long; he keeps recommending to Starfleet that Jean-Luc gets promoted.

Worf definately has an attitude problem; always the first to show aggression. Typical Klingon; shoot first, ask questions later.

The Betazoid, Troi is a flighty girl; she has Riker, but has moonlight flits to Worf.

That one with the visor, LaForge; no wonder he never gets women when he has one subject matter; engines. Yawn. And what is that jargon, he talks in? Even he probably doesn't know.

Data is a jumble of wires. A mixed-up metal man with an emotion deficit!

Wesley is one that drives me mad; I think he could beat me at poker in the Continuum.

His mother....well, if only Jean-Luc knew about her....she really has the hots for him, as the humans say.

Guinan is a bad one amongst them; I've dealt with her many hundreds of years ago; very tricky.

Well, obviously, Jean-Luc isn't in a party mood.

"Take these Mexican outfits off, Q!" he shouts.

"Oh, very well, mon Capitano."

With a click, the outfits are off.

"Q!!!!" he shouts, "Put our uniforms back on! Don't leave us here naked!"

"You might have said, Jean-Luc."

Time to leave the humans for now Hopefully I'll do better in the poker game after that refreshing visit.


Trinity13 said...

Naked??? Was Beverly close by?

J Anderson said...


We all love Q

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That Q is such a jerk. He thinks he's so -- hey! Where'd my pants go?

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

Q, that's who i used to be!

MommaK said...

I think I could hang out with Q. He always made me laugh:)

FuzzBuck Fuzz said...

Just a quick log in to register the thanks of the people of FuzzBuck for the technology to beat the spambots.

Q? Just introduce my friends the tribbles to the continuum.

All your base are belong to us :D

TrueJerseyGirl said...

Eh, nobody appreciates a good time anymore.

Jamie said...

Q, did you take pictures? Can you post them???

-xtessa- said...

ah... jean-luc naked... that is something! LOL!

Superhero Bob said...

Just when you think things will go just as you planned..."Hello! It's Q! Here to ruin your day to brighten my own!"

I think he gets bored easily. He should try driving headstart school bus - - - uhm, never mind, I love those kids and would hate to see them turned into some sort of animal....forget I mentioned it.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Trinity, I knew you'd be the one to say that. I'll leave that to discretion.

Jon, beware of saying anything against know the consequences.

Better Safe, are you Q on a good day?

MommaK, Q has a warped sense of humour...he might be an ideal pal for you.

Always willing to help Fuzzbuck.

True, you always ssem able to enjoy yourself.

Jamie, they would be too X-rated! are also quite warped....or is that flattery?

Ciera, I pity the poor children of a school bus. Who knows what would happen to them with Q in charge?

Master Yoda said...

Of Naked Day at the Jedi Temple this reminds me (oddly, often the same day as Laundry Day, this is). Fun for me that is not.

InterstellarLass said...

HA HA! Jean-Luc in the buff! Whee!

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

you're posting naked pics!!!!!!!
you know i'll be back;)

puremood said...

Did someone say naked!?

Oh... and to answer the first Q -yes, humans are wacko!

Free to Be said...

Still hung up on the nudity are we? Is Pat Robertson there by any chance?

dddragon said...

Hmmmm .... nekkid trek. A whole new galaxy to explore ...

Jana said...

I always liked the Q episodes the best.

Shelley said...

Q is the best! Jean Luc looks good in that uniform, so it goes unsaid that he's all that. It's just a fact. As sure as the sky is blue and as sure as William Shatner is a musician (again)..."Ordinary People" anyone?

nobody said...

Q! old buddy, old pal... uhoh... sounds like you made cappy mad :/

Superhero Bob said...

I've been thinking...maybe what Q really needs is a would give him a whole new universe to explore.

no...I am NOT volunteering to be Q's girl...I have a sister though...she'd give him a merry chase...LOL

Superhero Bob said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Superhero Bob said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Superhero Bob said...

sorry - I managed to triple post. Don't's one of those days already.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Why has everybody got this fixation about nudity? This is supposed to be family-friendly!

Shelley, who is William Shatner?

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