Thursday, August 04, 2005

Morning Conference

It's time for the senior staff Morning Conference.

That's what it's officially called; actually it is unofficially named Gripes & Groans Time. They do the griping and I do the groaning. Usually I get a headache right afterwards.

Why is it all the staff have something to complain about? I have far more to worry or get annoyed about, but can I make a comment?

Not a chance.

All the complaints I have ever made are 'passed forward' to Starfleet Headquarters. They are then mislaid and never heard of again.

Anyway, back to today's conference; I'm already getting a throbbing pain in the back of my head.

LaForge opens up with a thought. It's bound to be about his precious engines.

"About the engines, Captain." he starts.

I told you!

"The performance of them have been wearing down slightly." he continues, "We need new parts for some of it to keep it to optimum efficiency. None seem to have come for some time."

"Can your Engineering staff not keep it going at peak until the parts come?" I ask.

"Err...yes, of course, Captain."

That's the way to win against LaForge; make him think he can't look after the engines.

Beverly pipes up.

"I'm still having a lot of trouble with the Emergency Medical Hologram. Ever since it was fitted, he keeps trying to take over the SickBay and wants me to be the assistant."

"The EMH is just a tool to help you, Dr Crusher. He may be programmed with routines of many different doctors to handle all problems, but he is just an assistant in a crisis when the medical staff need extra help."

"That may be so," says Beverly, "But I caught him singing some opera the other day."

Time for a stress tablet.

Data starts to say something.

"Captain, someone on the ship is playing a vicious trick on me."

"What's that, Data" I groan.

"They are walking up behind me, switching me off and throwing me down the rubbish chute. I am only switched on when the space garbageman collects the debris."

"I'll have Worf and the security team investigate that" I say, while trying to keep a straight face.
Deanna thinks it's her turn.

"Captain, I've been worried about some of the couselling sessions that I've been taking."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, err...they haven't exactly been very complimentary about you. In fact, they've been rather hostile."

"Who are they Counselor. Let's have their names!"

"I can't tell you, Captain; it's Counselor/Patient privilege. But I'll try and encourage them, and show them what a great man you are."

There appears to be a suppressed giggle in the room.

Riker has something to say.

"I think someone has been intruding into Counselor Troi's quarters."

Deanna suddenly coughs.

"While I was away at a Conference, a large hooded figure was seen to walk slowly into her room."

"Were you aware of this, Counselor?" I ask.

", they must be mistaken."

"Mr Worf, you and the security team should investigate this."

"Er...I'll take care of this personally, Counselor." Worf says to her.

Did she just wink at him then?

"Captain." says Worf, "I have a complaint of my own.

Not something else?

"There has been some anti-Klingon graffiti in the Enterprise washroom. I believe it was there after we had the visit from the Romulan Ambassador."

"What does it say?"

"It is typical of the Romulans; they have no honour. It says ''How does Worf hold on to the side of a rockface? He 'klings on'".

Worf looks disgusted.

Another supressed giggle in the room.

I take another couple of stress pills.

Morning Conference is over again.


mamasbooties18 said...

new site for me. Please change it. Thanks Leah

mamasbooties18 said...

new site for me. Please change it. Thanks Leah

TrueJerseyGirl said...

Just keep on popping those stress pills, and it will all be ok.

Stationery Queen said...

meetings are just so pointless, aren't they?

he klings on... *giggle*

Anonymous said...

What is do toilet paper and the original Enterprise have in common?

they both circle Uranus searching for Klingons!


Superhero Bob said...

Captain - - - try DUCT TAPE.

Shelley said...

Just remember to breathe. I hate meetings. They suck.

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

hope he's got refills on his presciption

Trinity13 said...

Ahhh, what a great joke! Those crazy Romulans!

dddragon said...

Well ... at least Wesley wasn't there!!

nobody said...

Hey, that Klingon joke was pretty funny.

mrsmogul said...

Anti Klingon graffiti! What is that of? Green Klingons with Bling on and hoodies LOL

Leia said...

Forget pills, you'll need needles.

Minerva said...

Dear Captain,
The queen hates meetings so much that she makes everyone stand during the meeting so that they keep it short.
Definitely something that might help the stress levels..
You have been zapped...incidentally, as I like this blog...


(added to my LIST...)

InterstellarLass said...

HA HA HA! This post is hilarious! Kling-ons! Just what I needed this afternoon. Thanky Cap'n. :)

-xtessa- said...

ahhh... the EMH and his opera songs. didn't he want to be called Bob or something in Voyager?;)

Angel of Music said...

Careful with the pills... they CAN be addictive! :0P

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jersay, the Enterprise doesn't have enough stress pills, even for me.

SQ, meetings are indded so pointless; nowadays, people have to have a meeting to decide where meetings will be held.

Ciera, that's good advice.

Shelley, you said it.

Better Safe, I'm going to need a replicator.

Trinity,Rye,InterstellarLass, those Romulans know how to wind up a Klingon.

Dddragon, that would have been two more bottles of stress pills.

Mrs Mogul, this sort of grafitti is all over Romulus.

Princess, I have always been scared of needles!

Great idea, Minerva. I'll remove the chairs next time. Thanks for adding me on.

Xtessa, I believe it was Joe, if you look at the last double length story of 'Voyager'.

Angel, stress pills on the Enterprise are not addictive; they are on general issue to all Captains.

McCoy said...

A quick fix from an old pro
Just open a canister of Laughing gas in the engine room, if it will cure an angry scot with a hang over it will surely make La Forge forget about his litle engine problem, as for the EMH just unplug the darned thing afterall we don't need a computer programming joining the ranks of all those others who argue with my diagnosis,
Counselor Lay off the romulan ale and these halucinations of people having bad thoughts about the captain will disappear. After all no one wants to WALK THE PLANK in deep space now do they.
By The Way Number One you left your cloak in sick bay when you arrived back from the conference earlier than expected and last but not least, Worf needs to find other ways of expressing his human side, the anti KLING ON remarks are getting old. Captain those anti stress pills seem to be working quite well you have an unearthly glow about you these days.

Barbara said...

I got some good chuckles out of these complaints. Very funny.

Anonymous said...

豆豆聊天室 aio交友愛情館 2008真情寫真 2009真情寫真 aa片免費看 捷克論壇 微風論壇 大眾論壇 plus論壇 080視訊聊天室 情色視訊交友90739 美女交友-成人聊天室 色情小說 做愛成人圖片區 豆豆色情聊天室 080豆豆聊天室 小辣妹影音交友網 台中情人聊天室 桃園星願聊天室 高雄網友聊天室 新中台灣聊天室 中部網友聊天室 嘉義之光聊天室 基隆海岸聊天室 中壢網友聊天室 南台灣聊天室 南部聊坊聊天室 台南不夜城聊天室 南部網友聊天室 屏東網友聊天室 台南網友聊天室 屏東聊坊聊天室 雲林網友聊天室 大學生BBS聊天室 網路學院聊天室 屏東夜語聊天室 孤男寡女聊天室 一網情深聊天室 心靈饗宴聊天室 流星花園聊天室 食色男女色情聊天室 真愛宣言交友聊天室 情人皇朝聊天室 上班族成人聊天室 上班族f1影音視訊聊天室 哈雷視訊聊天室 080影音視訊聊天室 38不夜城聊天室 援交聊天室080 080哈啦聊天室 台北已婚聊天室 已婚廣場聊天室 夢幻家族聊天室 摸摸扣扣同學會聊天室 520情色聊天室 QQ成人交友聊天室 免費視訊網愛聊天室 愛情公寓免費聊天室 拉子性愛聊天室 柔情網友聊天室 哈啦影音交友網 哈啦影音視訊聊天室 櫻井莉亞三點全露寫真集 123上班族聊天室 尋夢園上班族聊天室 成人聊天室上班族 080上班族聊天室 6k聊天室 粉紅豆豆聊天室 080豆豆聊天網 新豆豆聊天室 080聊天室 免費音樂試聽 流行音樂試聽 免費aa片試看A片 免費a長片線上看 色情貼影片 免費a長片 本土成人貼圖站 大台灣情色網 台灣男人幫論壇 A圖網 嘟嘟成人電影網 火辣春夢貼圖網 情色貼圖俱樂部 台灣成人電影 絲襪美腿樂園 18美女貼圖區 柔情聊天網 707網愛聊天室聯盟 台北69色情貼圖區 38女孩情色網 台灣映像館 波波成人情色網站 美女成人貼圖區 無碼貼圖力量 色妹妹性愛貼圖區 日本女優貼圖網 日本美少女貼圖區 亞洲風暴情色貼圖網 哈啦聊天室 美少女自拍貼圖 辣妹成人情色網 台北女孩情色網 辣手貼圖情色網 AV無碼女優影片 男女情色寫真貼圖 a片天使俱樂部 萍水相逢遊戲區 平水相逢遊戲區 免費視訊交友90739 免費視訊聊天 辣妹視訊 - 影音聊天網 080視訊聊天室 日本美女肛交 美女工廠貼圖區 百分百貼圖區 亞洲成人電影情色網 台灣本土自拍貼圖網 麻辣貼圖情色網 好色客成人圖片貼圖區 711成人AV貼圖區 台灣美女貼圖區 筱萱成人論壇 咪咪情色貼圖區 momokoko同學會視訊 kk272視訊 情色文學小站 成人情色貼圖區 嘟嘟成人網 嘟嘟情人色網 - 貼圖區 免費色情a片下載 台灣情色論壇 成人影片分享 免費視訊聊天區 微風 成人 論壇 kiss文學區 taiwankiss文學區