Yo! Geordi here for a little serious word or two.
I wanna know one thing, man; why is it the chicks go off me so easily?
I'll tell you what happened to me just yesterday. There I am, chatting up Ensign Joanne Weston, the new kid on the Engineering block during our break in Ten Forward.
Naturally, I've been telling this stunning beaut all about how well I look after the engines and that a warp conduit that I had in reserve managed to give the ship that extra boost it needed a month ago.
She starts looking around the room.
Man! As any guy knows, that's a bad sign when dating a chick. It means she is not interested, and she is saying "No way, Jose'" in all but chatter.
I haven't found the way to Romance City, Arizona, that's for sure.
Another prospective gal bites the dust.
I'll tell you, my track record with babes is distinctly on the low side. I'll say low; it's more like non-existent.
The worst part is that Data gets more women than I do, and he's a machine!
It must be a chatup line he has, or maybe women find it an interesting prospect. I know that many a time he asks me to look after Spot, that cat of his, as he says he has to 'entertain a ladyfriend' in his quarters.
I ask you, man!
All I ever get at night is scratches from Spot.
The one groovy thing I like is the hours of fun from looking around Spare Parts For Starships in the Starfleet Mall.
Man. that's such a hip place, with all those far out parts I would not think of getting normally. Often, I get a whole truckload of extras, charge them to the Main Man's account and beam them up to the Enterprise on a quiet night.
Hey! There's nothing bad about this. What the Main Man doesn't know that is that there would have been a warp core breach on many a time had it not been for the extra plasma relay or conduit that I just happened to have in my bag as a result of shopping.
Without those, we would have been in Core Breach City, singing away with our harps by now.
There's just one great tip always to remember when the Main Man wants something urgent doing: now this is just between you and me. It's Secrecy City, Arizona.
If he says how soon can a job be done, triple the length of the time it will really take. He will halve the time, and when it is actually done, it will seem we have done a miraculous job.
It works everytime, man!
I'm surprised no one has ever spotted it.
Right now, I'm gonna look at the engines, make sure they're A-1, then go and catch some z's.