Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Uncharted Planet (Part One)

One of the things I've learnt over the years is whenever an uncharted planet is located, there is something on it.

And it's hostile.

Still, there I am, forgetting the above, and Deanna, Beverly, Geordi, Worf and myself all go down, with Riker and Data looking after the ship.

Not even a 'spare man'.

'Spare men' are what Away Teams are supposed to take when we visit an unknown place. It is their job to get killed so we can carry on.

We all beam down into a rough terrain; that will do havoc with my Starfleet-issue boots.

Geordi detacts a lifesign, so we all walk towards it.

A giant Yeti-like creature comes out of a cave.

"Greetings Captain Picard and crew of the Enterprise. Welcome to your new home."

Now a statement like that sounds full of trouble.

"How do you know who....." I say.

"Your ship was scanned by me; I know all the details of your crew."

A force field comes up all around us. We cannot contact the Enterprise; we use the phasers against the creature.

About as useful as a chocolate teapot.

"I am Gar, and you will be spending all eternity with me" he says. "I shall provide you with meagre food and you will keep me entertained."

Worf looks very angry; I sense some Klingon-style hostility arising in a moment.

"We shall do nothing of sort." he says, as if he is going to explode with fury.

"Mr Worf, calm down." I whisper, "Let's try and talk to this Gar creature."

"A good idea." says Gar, "You creatures are so fascinating; the last visitors didn't last long; I had to kill them all off. They were also unco-operative"

Not exactly Mr Hospitality, is he?

"Captain.", Deanna whispers,"I sense he is very serious; it's best to stall him while the Enterprise try and rescue us."

"There is no way off this planet.", booms Gar, "Don't consider plotting anything."

It could get rather boring here. The chances of being at the Ten Forward Christmas Party are looking rather slim right now.


Stationery Queen said...

A chocolate tea pot. ha.

Worf, always wanting to shoot/hit first and ask questions later.

And the person on the away team who is there to get killed? Usually wearing red? Hmmmmm.

Superhero Bob said...

egads! no dispensible ensigns along! You file a complaint. Someone messed up!!!!

dddragon said...

Where's the portable holodeck when you need it?

nobody said...

Aww nuts... you really wanted to go to that Ten Forward Christmas Party, didn't you?

InterstellarLass said...

Better that way won't get in trouble with any of the ladies. ;)

mrsmogul said...

chocolate teapot!! Where can i get one of those!!!!

Angel of Music said...

Not even a Spare Man? Well, hide behind Data. At least he can be put back together again. Usually.

Hope you're wrong about the Christmas Party - wont be the same without ya! :0)

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

oooooooo, a christmas party, i want to go. let's see, there must be something i can do to make it work

Natsthename said...

No spare man? And you call yourself "Captain"?!?!

Trinity13 said...

At least you and Beverly can entertain yourselves!!!

Shelley said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shelley said...

Uh...hello??!!! Any mention of chocolate and I can't function! A chocolate teapot WOULD be useful - I could use one right now actually! My head was spinning so bad when I saw the mention of chocolate I couldn't focus long enough to read the rest of your entry. "Must get chocolate...vending maching much too far away..." I will come back and finish reading your entry once I am done stuffing my face.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

SQ, Mrs M, Shelley, What is it with the ladies and chocolate?

SQ, Ciera, Angel, Natalie..please remind me to bring a spare man along...or Data to get hit by the offending alien.

Nobody, Angel, Better Safe, the Enterprise Christmas Party in Ten Forward is the highpoint of the ship's year.

Trinity, I don't know what you mean!

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