Thursday, November 15, 2007

Political Correctness Visit

This is definately something I'm not looking forward to.

A Starfleet Inspector is visiting the Enterprise to see that we are following the known political correctness guidelines.

"I thought political correctness had been destroyed in the 21st Century?" Riker asks, "They did it when it was blamed for the breakdown of all things. It took a hundred years to get the world back on track."

"That's true, Number One." I reply, "But some people high up in Starfleet don't read history very well, and it is in danger of making a comeback."

The Inspector beams on. He looks grumpy and is wearing an old 20th Century jacket and tie.

"Eee up!" he exclaims, "Those transportation devices make me right dizzy. I'm sure that I come out all jumbled up when I arrive."

"I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard." I say. "and this is..."


"All right, Picard!" the Insector says gruffly, while pointing at me,"I know you just want to get on my good side. Well that won't happen, as I'm Ted Allbright, a Political Correctness Inspector, and I don't have a good side."

"Let me show you around the ship, Mr Allbright." I tell him, "I think you'll find you have nothing to worry about here."

"So, Picard." he says, as we walk, "What are you doing right now on this ship of yours?"

"We're preparing for the Enterprise Christmas Party at the beginning of next month, when.."

"Well you cancel that for a start!" Allbright says with a sneer, "You need to call these Holiday Parties. What is that mistletoe you have stored over there?"

I smile, "That's so members of the crew can kiss the people they like. A very festive and romantic time."

"Send it back!" Allbright demands, "Don't you realise people could be sexually harassing others who did not wish to participate. Also, mistletoe is very rare."

"It was replicated!" I say with annoyance.

"Don't fob me off with your technology talk." Allbright tells me, "You can have a two foot high tree in the corner on the floor, artificially made, so it will not contravene any health and safety rules. There will be no lights on it. Also it will be called a Holiday Tree."

"Do you want us to cancel Christmas altogether?" I say sarcastically.

"That would be an alternative more in line with my way of thinking, Picard."Allbright agrees.

I sigh. There seems to be no getting around him.



"I'll tell them to cancel this Party of yours, Picard" says Allbright, "How do you work these gadgets of yours?"

Just then, Ensign Britney and T'Pol apporoach."



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"Errr....are those two at the Party, Picard?" Allbright asks me.

"They would have been." I reply, "But now..."

"Oh, I'm sure we can forget about the political correctness" he says, "We are all meant to have a little fun at Christmas time....err...could you get me a ticket for your Party?"

"I'll send one to you, Mr Allbright." I tell him, "But I don't think Ensign Britney or T'Pol are your type."

"Wait till I get them under the mistletoe!" says Allbright, with a dig in my side with his elbow and a dirty laugh.

Allbright gets ready to beam off. I whisper to Riker.

"Make sure his invitation arrives AFTER the party, Number One" I tell him, "We can't have him running after Britney and T'Pol."

--------------------
Author's Note:

See the previous post for all the details of the Enterprise Christmas Party, due to start on 3rd December.

21 comments:

Bilbo said...

It seems to me that you should go ahead and invite Mr Albright to the party on time...I'm sure that Ensign Britney and T'Pol could help enlighten his attitude...

THE BLUEST BUTTERFLY said...

Very creative. I will look at your Enterprise Christmas Party post.

Michael Manning said...

HERE, HERE!! for Ensign Britney! THat should lead to a change of this guy's 20th Century coat and tie, eh? You handled this visit very smoothly!

Titania Starlight said...

Good to see a quick turnaround . I guess Ensign Britney is good for something after all.

It is best to not let the political correct crowd sneak back in and cause chaos again. No one wants that.

Lavender said...

Au Contrair! I think you should have him up - with those two - and there should be cameras EVERYWHERE. Perhaps afterward he will be more polite and less pompous. Wouldnt want those recordings to get out, now would we? ROFL

Ernie said...

Perhaps you should look into Festivus, A Holiday For The Rest of Us.

Elizabeth said...

Ensign Britney scares me. A lot. If I were her mother, I would be weeping.

Ellee said...

He sounds a real killjoy. Let Britney sort him out.

The Curmudgeon said...

Finally Ensigns T'Pol and Britney have done something helpful! But I think you should invite him to the party on time, Captain -- maybe you'll develop an excuse to chuck him and the girls in the Brig....

Tawcan said...

Yet another great entry in captain's journal. :)

Michele sent me here.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmudgeon, we will have the brig all ready for maximum occupancy when the party starts. Ensign Britney & T'Pol are top contenders to be in it at the end.

I agree with you all; at last they did something useful!

kenju said...

I certainly hope that political correctness will have run its course and been replaced by common sense (within my lifetime). Michele sent me, because I got a little confused...LOL

Becky68 said...

Aww, let the poor guy have his fun!
You can always take pictures & use them for blackmail if he feels guilty & tries to shut you down for PC violations later on.
Michele sent me but my computer crashed & so I'm late commenting, sorry about that.

Bob-kat said...

That guy needs to take the broom out from where it's inserted!

Michele sent me over to say that PC seems to be PC, no matter what the century is!

Amanda said...

I agree that this guy should attend the party too. After all, he mustn't be all that into PC if he's so easily swayed. T'Pol and Ensign Britney will teach him a lesson.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Thank goodness that scantily clad women are still politically correct. I not sure life would be worth living otherwise.

Mykol said...

If Ensign Britney could get T'pol more csual, imagine what she coul do to Mr. Allbright ;)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh I think Ensign Brit and T'pol should run into Mr. Albright. :)

Linda said...

Those men from earlier centuries ... they never change, do they?

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