Tuesday, November 06, 2007
The Unreality Barrier (Part Two)
Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher
Things have been going topsy-turvy since Jean-Luc was hit by a flare from the Unreality Barrier and fainted. It looks like he is going through an identity crisis, saying that his name is Patrick Stewart, and he wants to get on making the episode as fast as possible, otherwise he will call his agent.
"Look, Gates." he tells me, "I don't know what you and the others are trying to pull here, but I need to get this season over with soon. I'm playing Hamlet in London soon. They will be expecting me next week."
I think I know the only way to bring his memory back; I grab Jean-Luc and kiss him heavily on the lips. He jumps back in horror.
"Gates!" he exclaims, "That sort of thing is just not on. I know we are friends off-set, but we don't want it to go any further."
I decide to take him around the ship; as we do, he looks shocked.
"This is all real!" he says with dawning thought, "No sets, no cameras; this is actually a starship travelling at Warp speed, and not a studio in Hollywood, Los Angeles."
"That's right, Jean-Luc...er Patrick." I tell him. It looks like Jean-Luc has actually swapped bodies with a 20th Century actor in another dimension.
"But what are we going to do?" he asks, "I'm supposed to be filming Star Trek:The Next Generation on 20th Century Earth, not being on the Enterprise in the 24th Century! How will I ever play Hamlet again?"
"Well, we have a good theatre here." says Riker, as he approaches, "Data is well researched in all the roles."
Patrick groans. Riker gets a message on his Com.
"We have a problem." he tells us, "A Zarvanian Battleship has approached, and it will not let us through peacefully until it talks to Captain Picard."
We all look at Patrick.
"No, I won't do it." he says.
"Why not?" I tell him, "You've done it lots of times before in your tv series."
"Yes." he answers, "But with a script in front of me, Floor Managers, directors and cameras."
He reluctantl;y agrees, and we head to the Bridge. Patrick gets ready to slip into his Picard persona as he looks at the videoscreen.
"I am err...Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise." he declares, "What is it you want?"
"Ahh!" says the Zarvanian, "You are Captain Picard; I recognise you. Your name is well known in Zarvanian circles for your daring exploits. I wanted to have the honour of saying hello. It has been a pleasure to talk to you."
With that, the screen switches off, and the Battleship flies off.
"That must rank as my best acting performance ever." Patrick says to himself.
"Look." I say to the others, "How are we going to manage to swap Patrick and Jean-Luc back again?"
"I believe I may have the answer." says Data, "I have been studying the Unreality Barrier, and found that a flare emits every 187.5 minutes. If we put ourselves in the same position again, a flare will coming and hit Patrick, swapping them back."
"Or swap someone else." Riker tells him.
Data admits this, but we all agree it is a chance worth taking.
We get ready and put ourselves in position. I wonder how Jean-Luc has been doing on the Star Trek set in the 20th Century?
To be continued...