Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Klingon Homeworld (Part One)

Starfleet must consider me an intergalactic James Bond with the missions I get sent on. Perhaps I should put myself forward as the film franchise are looking for someone as the 91st actor to play him.

I look in the mirror.

"The name's Bond...James Bond." I say to myself.

"Excuse me, Captain?" says Worf as he walks in.

"Ah, Mr Worf." I says hurriedly, "I needed to see you about an important mission that we have to do."

"'We', Captain?" he replied.

"Yes." I told him, "It seems there is a rogue faction on the Klingon homeworld who want to try and destroy the treaty between their world and the Federation, It is been led by Morbus."

"He is a known troublemaker" stated Worf, "The Klingon High Council has tried to get him banished for years."

"That is true" I continued, "Nonetheless, he is gathering support, and both the Council and the Federation are starting to get worried."

"What will we be doing, Captain? Worf asks.

"We shall be infiltrating the faction so that we know all the members" I tell him, "That way, they can be rounded up, and Morbus' power base is weakened."

Worf looks closely at me. I know what he is thinking, as I had the same thought myself.

"Err..what about you, Captain" he inquires, "You will hardly pass for a Klingon. Is Doctor Crusher going to surgically alter you?"

The very thought gives me the creeps, but I can hardly tell Worf that.

"I'll just have some light additions by the Enterprise Theatrical Department." I say, "After that, I will look like a sufferer of Cheapmakeuponitis, the illness that Klingons had in the 23rd Century, when Kirk was around."

"We never speak of those dark days." Worf mutters to himself.

"I'll wear a hooded cloak." I continue, "If anyone sees me, Klingons will run a mile in case they catch it."


A few hours later, we arrive at the Klingon homeworld; I have the cloak that covers my made-up face, and Worf has a typical outfit on for an underground faction; all dark. We go to Transporter Room 3 and get ready to beam down to a known area where the pro-Morbus group are.

Jadzia comes in.

"Good luck, Worfie." she tells him, and kisses him.

Beverly comes in and whispers a quiet "Come back soon." and blows a kiss before anyone notices.

We beam down.

To be continued...


Jaime H. said...


Good luck, Captain!

susan said...



Bob-kat said...

Oh yes, cheapmakeuponitis was a nasty disease! LOL!

Michele sent me which is great as it was time I popped by.

Kid Flash said...

Intergalactic James Bond? Well they're is already an Intergalactic Gladiator so why not?

Linda said...

"Picard. Captain Picard." I think that has a better ring to it!

Will be interesting to see where this little adventure ends up!

Anonymous said...

LOL! I love the word "cheapmakeuponitis"!!

At first I read "chipmunkitis" which I was trying to fit with the concept of a Klingon....until I finally read it right! :D

I've always liked Klingons....can't wait for the next in the series!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

lol Kid Flash.

This looks like it'll be a fun adventure. If someone there gives you bloodwine, don't forget to punch him in the shoulder after you drink it.

squirrel said...

Ah good to see Worf! He's been keeping a low profile for awhile now!

The Mistress of the Dark said...



Anonymous said...

Worf is a prince among the Klingons...why aren't all Klingons like him? Good luck among them Captain...go ahead and raise a little hell among them, then they'll buy your act!

The Curmudgeon said...


So that's what it was? When the DS9 group wound up in "The Trouble With Tribbles" (maybe the best episode ever of DS9 -- and certainly the funniest) all Worf said was "we never talk about it -- sort of like he did here."

I do hope you'll expand on this further.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Maybe Worf will tell more about it later...

Ellee said...

I think you make a great Intergalactic James Bond.

Titania Starlight said...

Ahh... James Bond... you know my thoughts on James Bond and that British accent of yours makes you the perfect Interglactic Bond. :o)

P.S. Thanks for the vote. :o)

Barbara said...

Cheapmakeuponitis - I thought this was funny too.

Professor Xavier said...

Those Klingons certainly are . . intense.

Lahdeedah said...

cheapmakeupoinitis. ha ha ha ha

The name is Picard. Jean luc. Picard.


eastcoastlife said...

Hi Captain Picard!
You've been tagged. See my latest post! :D

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