Thursday, April 26, 2007

Broken Viewer

I must admit it can drive us crazy looking at the viewer all the time, but it keeps us up to date with what is going on around the Enterprise.

"What's going on with the Viewer?" says Riker suddenly.

We all look up and see it is completely black.

"Have we entered a spacial anomoly, Mr Data?" I ask. It's one of the standard questions I fire at times like this.

"No, sir." he replies, "Sensors show that everything is normal outside the ship. A diagnostic tells me that there is a fault somewhere with the viewer."

"Can't you tell me what it is?" I ask, "It's only a simple viewer!"

"Negative." Data tells me, "It seems the problem is more advanced than it appears. We shall have to try and get to the nearest Starbase."

I groan. It looks like we will be limping there, unable to see where we are going, guided only by sensors.

Who said technology was improving?


Several hours later, we are escorted into Starbase 162, and an engineer beams on to repair the problem.

It's Sid.

Why does he always seem the one who fixes our problems or installs new equipment? With his workmanlike appearance and 20th century outlook one everything, he is hardly suitable.

"Morning, mate." he tells be as he steps off the transporter pad with his bag of tools. He is asked by Worf to put his cigarette out, So Sid throws it on the floor and treads on it.

We head to the Bridge where the Viewer. Sid looks at it.

"We've been having problems with these all the time, mate." he tells me, "When did you have it fitted?"

I tell him, and Sid nods sadly.

"That's no surprise." he continues, "All the models were defective then. I'm surprised it's lasted this long. You've been lucky, mate. It could easily have blown up. I'll take a look at it."

Sid puts his bag on the floor, takes out a hammer and screwdriver and goes round the back of the Viewer. Soon, we hear a loud banging and a few circuits drop on the floor. Geordi is looking distressed as he doesn't like Enterprise technology being examined by others. As no one knew the answers we had no choice.

Sid returns from behind the Viewer, his cap slightly askew. He is carrying two separate circuits with him.

"These are your main problems, guv'nor" he tells me, "This thingy controls the rate of transmission to your screen, and this watchamacallit controls the picture. When one blew out, the other went at the same time. Only natural, innit?"

"What about the circuits on the floor?" protests Geordi.

Sid looks down on them.

"They might need replacing as well, mate" he tells Geordi, who is looking very neurotic, "But if you ask me, it's impossible to get the parts nowadays. This model is past it. I can get you a new top of the range Viewer, though. State of the art, latest on the market, at a good discount."

Reluctantly I agree.

Sid brings it in, fits it, and the picture looks perfect.

"Well done, Sid." I tell him, "I'll write and commend you to your superiors for analysing the problem and providing the Enterprise with a new Viewer.

Sid looks alarmed.

" me a favour, guv'nor. Don't mention the new Viewer. I kind of got it the back of a lorry, so to speak...."

After translation by Mr Data telling me that he obtained the Viewer by illegal means, I reluctantly have to accept the work he has done.

Sid leaves by transporter.

That's great! Now the Enterprise has to travel the universe with a hot Viewer!


Titania Starlight said...

Sid sounds like a mechanic I took my car to once!

GLad the viewer is fixed. Hope no one is missing it! :o)

Ellee said...

Captain, Your photo bucket is really cool, I haven't seen that before, I think I will sign up. And many thanks for your welcoming me to MyBlogLog.

Squirrel said...

Glad you got your viewer fixed! Funny this guy's name is Sid. I just recently started calling my dog SID. Short for Stupid Idiot Dog. Yeah, i'm mean like that.

Miss Trashahassee said...

J.L., I'da taken a big ol' fire'stingusher an' hit ol'Sid upside the head with it when he throwed that cigarette down. I knowed about this guy name Sid a some time ago an' he owned some honkey-tonks an' they both burned down. Gotta watch out for them smokin' Sids

Miss T

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Did you try smacking the side of the viewer with your hand first? That used to work on our TV when I was a kid.

Professor Xavier said...

You know what you should get for your viewer? Tivo. I love it!

mrsmogul said...

I think that the Viewer should have the sticker OBJECTS IN MIRROR LOOK LARGER THAN THEY APPEAR

The Mistress of the Dark said...

LOL at having a hot viewer..but at least it's a functioning hot viewer

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jon, giving the viewer a whack might have been successful. Perhaps I should have tried it?

MOTD, that is very true.

Professor, a 24th century Tivo might be interesting.

Squirrel, that is innovative, calling your dog Sid as an acronym.

Ellee, glad you like it.

Mrs M, good to see you on MyBlogLog.

Titania, we all know a Sid!

barbie2be said...

good morning, captain. happy weekend.

michele sent me.

Gopher said...

Glad you got the viewer fixed captain, even if it's a "hot" new model - hey at least it's not like the new computer "Sid" tried to put in once at least this works..

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

But the "back of a lorrie" equipment doesn't have a warrenty. Oh No the world is going to fall apart.

The Curmudgeon said...

Jean-Luc, I'm glad the picture was of such high quality.

But, knowing Sid... have you tried to actually change the picture yet? If it's still showing Starbase 162 an hour after you've warped out, you may have another problem on your hands....

Miss Trashahassee said...

Sid's a pyro. Don't be sayin' I ain't warned y'all.

Miss T

Jen said...


When I was a kid watching the original Star Trek, I used to think the big screen was just a window, like in a car. I just didn't "get" it.

kenju said...

I have had 3 new cable remotes in about 3 months. The repairman told me that "they got a bad batch" from the manufacturer. I said, "well why don't you throw that batch away, instead of passing them off to unsuspecting customers?" His answer was that they cannot tell which ones are bad unless someone tries them out first. GRRRRRR.

Michele sent me today.

Ellee said...

Hey, did you see Stephen Hawking floating in space? I thought of you, captain.

dragonflyfilly said...

CONGRATULATIONS on your fine achievement.!!! mon Kapitano, must dash, as i will be timed out in 17 minutes, and i have to log out of my e-mail.

no time to read,
later chickeepoo!

cheers for now,

Carmi said...

Technology giveth and technology taketh away. As much as it frustrates me, I realize I'd have no career if it ceased to be a major part of our daily lives.

I guess that's my deal with the devil.

Wonderful to e-see you again. You always make my day!

Linda said...

I guess a "hot" viewer is better than a "cold" viewer that shows no picture at all!

Tricia said...

Don't ya just hate it when your Viewer breaks down?

Big surprise that it was Data of all beings that got a "hot" viewer! LOL

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