Sunday, March 04, 2007

Party Guidelines

I gather the senior staff together for a meeting.

Beverly soon notices that I am wearing my tuxedo.

"What's the occasion, Jean-Luc?" she whispers, "Are we going for a date after the meeting? I'll get my ballgown and we can go for a dance in the holodeck."

"Sorry, Beverly." I reply, "This is business; our date will have to wait for a later time; you can keep that ballgown ready till then, though."

She smiles and sits down with the other staff.

"I want to announce that the Enterprise may be having a few visitors over the next few days." I tell them, a Galactic Event, named The Ultimate Blog Party is taking place this week, and we have to be on hand to greet anyone that passes through."

Ultimate Blog Party

"Security will have to be tight." comments Worf, "There may well be people who are trying to take over the Enterprise."

I roll my eyes and sigh.

"Now that's just what we don't want, Mr Worf." I reply, "These people won't have visited a starship before and some may be a little nervous, not knowing what to expect. I want the atmosphere to be relaxed and friendly."

"Don't you think Worf might scare them off?" says Riker with a slight laugh.

"Are you saying my Worfie can't be friendly?" retorts Jadzia, "I can assure you he is kind, generous and can be very sociable."

"I know that." comments Deanna with a sly smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jadzia answers back.

I can see how this is going to go if we are not careful.

"Let's all calm down a little." I tell them, "Remember you are all supposed to act as host to any visitors that come on board."

"As long as we don't get any Cardassians." comments Ro Laren, "I'm not going to talk to them; let Data look after them."

Data looks a little puzzled.

"Ensign." I say with a sigh, "I don't think there are any Cardassians at the party."

Why do these issues keep coming up. I'm glad I put some stress pills in my tuxedo.

What about Ensign Britney?" asks Geordi, "She could pose a problem and leave visitors with a bad impression of the Enterprise. I found some of her chewing gum on my computer terminal yesterday."



"Maybe we could put her back in the brig until the party is over?" suggests Worf.

"We can't put her there everytime people come to the ship." replies Deanna, "Already she's spent more time in the brig than she has in her quarters!"

"That's true." I say, "Mr LaForge, can you find her something to do in a classified part of the ship?"

"I guess I can." Geordi replies.

"What about Seven?" Riker asks me, "She might scare a few first time visitors as well."



"What are you saying?" snaps Seven. "The Borg are supreme; we can be the perfect hosts. Anyone who fails to get along will be assimilated."

"Seven!" I say despairingly, "What have I told you? No assimilating will take place by you on this ship. Just say a friendly 'Hello, welcome to the Enterprise." Do not mention assimilation, Borg supremacy, resistance is futile or anything like that."

"Very well, Locutus." she says.

"And DO NOT call me Locutus!"

I sigh, and know I'm not going to get any further; I'll have to get Beverly to give me some more stress pills this week.

"Meeting over." I tell them, "Don't forget to smile and welcome them."

What the new visitors are going to make of all these I dread to think.

43 comments:

Bea said...

Hosting parties can be stressful. Best of luck Captain.

muzakosis said...

Very creative!!

Shelley said...

Ensign Britney! LOL!!!! Worf needs to relax. That Beverly. No explaination needed.

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

I thought you were supposed to tell the truth in conversation. I find it fascinating that you tell someone to lie/not tell the truth.

I am looking out for you Queen.

Barbara said...

Is this a costume party? Some of these folks look a little scary.

Kelly said...

Oh Jean-Luc, thanks for stopping by my party. I can't imagine how you'd have the time with all of your duties. And even with all of your duties and your visits to other's parties, you have found the time to develop perhaps one of the best blog parties out there! I knew there was a reason I was so in love in the 90's!

Elizabeth said...

Jean-Luc, I am quite flattered that you took the time to stop by my party, I know how busy you are! I'm raising a glass of Romulan Ale to you and toasting you and your blog!

Titania Starlight said...

Party sounds so fun. But alas my palte is quite full and I shall pass but I will be with you all in spirit. :o)

Jaime H. said...

You can handle it, Captain. Just hope Q doesn't show up to help out! :)

Monkey Giggles said...

Swinging in for the party!!! Nice meeting ya.

My second party favor give-away has begun. When ya get a chance come on over and let's party!!!

Linda said...

You cut such a dashing figure in that tux that I'm sure that any visitors won't notice the rest of the strange goings-on!

WindWhisperer said...

You know what they say all over the Universe: Variety is the spice of interstellar life! Don't worry Captain, they'll drink Klingon Ale and party like it's 4999!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I definitely think you should keep Britney away from the party :)

pink ginger 珂琳 said...

very fun to read.
You must look good in tuxedu.

Kari said...

Welcome to the party, Captain Picard!

Lisa Knight said...

Thanks for the visit! I am still chuckling...

Party on Captain

TrueJerseyGirl said...

I can't believe you are not letting Britney hang out at the party - at least she will provide some comic relief!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Partying with Moms! Let's Rock and then go to bed by 9:30 pm. (well, that how it work's in my house)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Welcome to all new people! Glad to have you here!

mrsmogul said...

Yes I heard about this party! I can't wait to dance and hold people's hair as they throw up in the enterprise toilets.

Sarah Hodsdon said...

Oh My Goodness! I love your blog... I was trying to visit the blog party sites in order but, I could not help it to visit it sooner. Thank you for visiting my blog. I wasn't sure if you saw this project I made so, here is the link... methinks I may have just found a home for it :) where exactly is Birmingham?

Here's the link...
http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/16474680

Karolee said...

Very cool! Patrick Stewart is on my list of Sexy Old Guys. The sad thing is... my husband is soon to be on that list also. Had to come check out the site - will probably make a stop again later to see what is happening on board.

Erifia Apoc said...

The party sounds interesting, Captain.

The Pear Lady said...

I've been a loyal reader of your blog for a while now, and I am glad I've finally made it over to comment!
Rocking party, Capt'n. And, your crew is behaving well, though Ensign Britney does frighten the little ones...thank goodness for that brig *lol*.
Thanks for your entertaining stories (every day). They're always good for at least a smile. :)

Professor Xavier said...

A party, eh? Just one question. Will there be an open bar?

Anonymous said...

Dear Jean Luc,

Just letting you know that I've had to move and this is my new address

http://celadon2.wordpress.com/

And as for the blog ger problems, I think I'll tackle those after I've settled in my new place.

Susan, Celadon Pool

Vader's Mom said...

Thanks for having me aboard Captain.

nettie said...

i was goiong to say cool. but you had to stick a britney picture in there. *rolls eyes*

Jenny in Ca said...

Captain,

I was so flattered that you stopped by my little earth party. Really glad to be here. I'm going to go mingle, I have to admit I hope Q does show up, I always thought he was kind of cute.

party on

Merlyn Gabriel said...

Wow, theer does seem to be a lot of tension on board your ship, Captain. Maybe the crew needs to relax before you throw this party thing!

I can bring some wine, or better yet my dad's homemade gutrot if you want, that usually gets things going!

cheers
merly
(just got back from another exciting trip away!)

Mommy Brain said...

Great party Captain. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Ellee said...

You are a real party animal, and I like the fact you dress up smart too.

Law Girl said...

Permission to come aboard cap'n.

Unless the party is over and Brittany is alreay out of the brig. I don't want to come then.

Jungle Mom said...

LOL. I ended up here by accident, but being a Star trek fan all my life, I am loving It.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ensign Britney doesn't seem to popular at the party; I'll have to keep her away from all who drop in.

Bernard said...

Am I invited? :-)

Mama C said...

OMG! I am loving your blog. I'll definately be back. Please keep Seven away from my hubby.

Heather Smith said...

Thanks for stopping by my party! Such a fun time! Hope you're not too stressed during this party time!

Daughter Awaken! said...

I somehow feel into your little world... *smile* Greetings Aliens!! Have a funny week!! Thanks for visiting "my world"!

Sara said...

Oh dear Captain, I've missed you since your show went off the air. I've been reading Westly Crusher's blog and it just isn't yours. Just dropping in on the Blog Party Express! 864 blogs and my carpal tunnels are cranky. Can Dr Crusher fix that yet? Come visit The Estrogen Files sometime!

Lizzy B. Ventanawho said...

Hello Captain!

Thanks for beaming me up Scottie!

=P

Brandie said...

Hello! So nice to visit your starship ... it's an interesting group of people you have gathered here (but thank you for getting Ensign Britney out of the way for me) ;-)
Hope you had fun with the party!

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