Sunday, March 18, 2007

Vic Fontaine

On a recent visit to Deep Space Nine, I was very impressed with the self-aware holographic lounge singer Vic Fontaine that they have there. I asked Captain Sisko if he could send us a copy of his program so we could install him om one of our holodecks.


Geordi and Data have been working on the installation and we are ready to go.

"Well, Captain." says Geordi, "As you know, Vic will be aware he's a hologram, like the EMH Doctor."

Fortunately, Vic won't have the annoying mannerisms of the EMH, but instead will be able to sing a lot better.

"Perhaps I'll be able to play my trombone in the band?" suggests Riker.

I hope not; that will empty the nightclub faster than a fire alarm or the sound of General Quarters.

The program is activated, and a holographic nightclub comes to life; the flashing sign, 'The Sands' is above, and characters are watching the stage. The band is playing and Vic is at the front.

He looks over to us.

"Hi fellas!" he calls out, "Glad to be playing for a season on the Enterprise. Here's an opening number for you."

Come fly with me, let’s fly let’s fly away
If you can use, some exotic booze
There’s a bar in far Bombay
Come fly with me, we’ll fly we’ll fly away

Come fly with me, let’s float down to Peru
In llama land, there’s a one man band
And he’ll toot his flute for you
Come fly with me, we’ll float down in the blue

Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied
We’ll just glide, starry eyed
Once I get you up there, I’ll be holding you so near
You may here, angels cheer - because were together

Weather wise it’s such a lovely day
You just say the words, and we’ll beat the birds
Down to acapulco bay
It’s perfect, for a flying honeymoon - they say
Come fly with me, we’ll fly we’ll fly away

Worf looks slightly annoyed.

"Is this holographic character going to do this every time we switch the program on, sir" he complains.

"Mr Worf." I tell him, "Vic will know how to run this program himself. Holodeck 6 will now bcome known as 'The Sands', and crew will be able to drop in whenever they are off duty to listen to Vic and his band play."

"It is no good for discipline." he comments to himself.

"Don't be a downer, Worfie." chides Jadzia, giving him a playful slap on the arm, which he appears to like, "It is good for the morale of the crew to have somewhere else to relax besides Ten Forward."

Vic tells the band to take five; this phrase leaves Data somewhat confused for a moment until he seaches his memory files. Then he gives an odd laugh.

"Hi everybody." says Vic, "Glad to meet you all. Don't forget, if there's any numbers you want me to do for you, just holler and the band will play them for you."

Deanna names a weird Betazoid song that no one has ever heard of; Vic looks puzzled.

"That's a tough one, Miss Troi." he says, "Still if Geordi puts it into my programming, the band and I will do it without a problem."

"How about 'Torn Between Two Lovers' instead?" comments Worf, with a sarcastic tone, "I'm sure that would be more appropriate."

"What's that supposed to mean?" shouts Deanna.

"Yes Worf." adds Riker, "I think that was uncalled for."

Worf and Jadzia leave with smiles on their faces.

I hope we're not going to have too much trouble at The Sands; people are supposed to relax, not open up old wounds!

Beverly reminds me to get a good seat at The Sands tonight.

"Bev" I tell her, "I think as Captain, I will always somehow manage to get a good seat!"


PI said...

Nice to have the words. I clicked on the picture but didn't get any music so I sang it myself.
Michele says Hi!

Monica said...

Hi there Jean Luc! I love Vic! :) Hope all is well!

Titania Starlight said...

I love Vic. He's old Vegas. Sorry to hear not everyone appreciates the crooner. :o)

Barbara said...

I always liked Vic on DS9

Gyrobo said...

Wow. Vic's really changed. The last time I saw him, he was taller, heavier, and didn't speak English.

Also, he's changed his name.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hi capt. thanks for all the kind visits while i was so sick, i appreciated them, and I MISSED MY CRUISE! sigh...

smiles, bee

The Mistress of the Dark said...

~ sniffle ~

The Sands in Atlantic City was taken down last year :(

WindWhisperer said...

Is Vic Fontaine holographically modeled after the legendary crooner Vic Damone?

squirrel said...

I'm a Sinatra fan myself :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Pat, I'm not that advanced to get the music on!

Bee, sorry to know you missed your cruise; hope you feel better soon.

Andrea, I was unaware that The Sands was pulled down.

WindWhisperer, Vic is modelled on Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, I believe, around 1962, when they played in Las Vegas at The Sands.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Now you will get attacked by Lounge Lizards from the Planet Vegas. Hope you have a good supply of Martini makings.

Anastacia said...

I'm over here visiting your place while you were over there visiting mine! :)

Stine said...

Thanks for whizzing by my spot & commenting!

Merlyn Gabriel said...

ahhh Vic he's such an old smoothie!!! Guaranteed to make the ladies swoon!

I'll have a martini shaken not stirred with a twist!

Linda said...

So when are you putting in the slot machines and table games? If you're going to have a Vegas-style lounge singer you need some Vegas-style games! If you need a blackjack dealer, I was a professional dealer at one of the local casinos for awhile and can offer my services! I've always wanted to take a voyage on the Enterprise!

Kønig Hasemörder said...

"Cigarette holder which wigs me
over her shoulder, she digs me.
Out cattin' that satin doll.
Baby, shall we go out skippin?"


What would starfleet do?

Nic said...

Oooooh, that comment from Worf looks like the potential portent of a relationship speedbump at 100MPH.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

It's only the nightclub part of Vegas in The Sands, not the slot machines.

Nic, I agree; Worf did deliver an icy comment!

Jaime H. said...

Yay!! I love Vic!!!

rashbre said...

Vic really looks the part, too!

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