Thursday, June 01, 2006

Team Talk

I've called the senior staff together for our latest meeting.

Unfortunately, as Seven has declared herself a member of the senior staff, she has to be included, otherwise she'll tell us off to the Borg Queeen and we'll all get assimilated.

"First item on the agenda." I tell them, "Is this directive from Starfleet. It reminds us that we must have regular Team Talks for the senior staff. All should attend."

"That includes me" stresses Seven.

The others grumble a little.

"Last month" says Riker, "It was a little difficult to have our Team Talk as we were fighting aliens."

"Are we supposed to suddenly stop doing that and come in for a Team Talk?" Worf gruffly says, "We fight aliens, not have table chats."

"I agree Mr Worf" I tell him, "We would just have to postpone it."

"What would happen if aliens invaded while all the senior staff were in a Team Talk?" asks Geordi, "The Enterprise would not have any leading figures on the Bridge."

"You could self-destruct the ship from here." Seven declares.

"Err...yes, but we don't want to have to go to that extreme, Seven." I tell her, "Let's move on to the next item."

"What's that, Captain?" asks Riker.

"The women's washrooms, Number One" I tell him, "The has been a spate of vandalism there, with a lot of graffitti. Messages such as 'We are Borg' and 'Resistance is futile' have been inscribed there."

Everyone suddenly looks at Seven, who shows no emotion.

"Now I'm not going to name any suspects." I continue, "But if she continues, she'll be confined to her regeneration alcove,"

I look on my agenda list.

"Just one more item to discuss. Vacations." I tell them, "We've got to be careful when we book them so as they don't clash with other staff. I can't have mine at the same time as Commender Riker, for example."

"What about Will and I?" asks Deanna, "We'd want to have the same days off"

"So would I and Jadzia" declares Worf.

"As Trisha and I would want to." says Geordi.

"Jennifer and I would like to have the same says as well, Captain." Data informs me.

Beverly looks a little red-faced.

"Err...I'd naturally like the same days as Wesley...or perhaps certain other days."

I go a little red faced.

"Don't worry, everybody, I'm sure you'll all get the vacation times you want. Just put in your request after the Team Talk and I'll process it."

Everybody rushes out of the Ready Room as soon as I say that, leaving just me and Seven in there.

"What about your vacations, Seven?" I ask her.

"You will grant me my holidays, Locutus, or you will be assimilated." she sternly tells me.

"Err...I declare this Team Talk over."


Ciera said...

Just so everyone's clear on what days we want off together....

Kristen said...

HAHAHAHA!! This is brilliant.

I used to watch The Next Generation religiously...this brought back so many memories. LOL.

Professor Xavier said...

What's all this fighting aliens talk? I thought you were on a peaceful mission of exploration.

Vegeta said...

hmph Klingons


yo ,man! who afred of the big enterprise captain?

Charles said...

saw your journal while surfing on blogmad.

I hope Seven never becomes Captain! LOL

Love the journal! Keep it up.

emi said...

Aren't staff meetings wonderful! NOT! I think Seven read a little too much into "The One Minute Manager."

Viamarie said...

Thanks for the birthday greeting. Don't want any meetings. Am on a birthday leave remember? LOL

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Wait, Your on vacation right now doing LGS. Or is that part of your official duties? Hmmm what reason would Starfleet have to infiltrate Hacknor? This looks like a job for Sherlock Clones.

WW said...

Reminds me of Dilbert.


mrsmogul said...

That reminds me...I gotta put in my vacation time with Team Aniston and Team Jolie!

Paige said...

Ya know what Blogger has you listed as:

Blogs of Note

Way cool

The Curmudgeon said...

Vacation scheduling is Riker's job, Captain.

Won't you give that poor man any space? (Other than outside the airlock, that is...)

Captain Berk said...

I'm sorry, but the graffiti was actually my fault.

Kahn sent me some CCTV he found of me doing something I shouldn't have been.

He told me that if I didn't do this dare, he would release the tape to Starfleet headquarters.

Being kahn, he did it anyway.


no_average_girl said...

LOL, sounds like the queen gets her wishes! :-D

Vampirella said...

I didnt know Seven even would want vacation

Trinity13 said...

Where do Borgs go on vacation? The Matrix???

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Here on the Enterprise, we have to have a staff meeting just to plan the next Team Talk!

TheSleeper said...

Seven's vacation is the perfect opportunity to schedule the Senior Staff Retreat, where you can muck with the org chart to make her the CIO, ensuring she will never do anything effective again.

LoriAnn's Blog said...

Thank you for sucha an entertaining blog. I happened up it by chance and was pleasantly surprised by the content. It's hysterical and I just had to drop you a note to say so. Interestingly enough, I understand the whole stop work and attend a team meeting ritual. They're usually a colossal waste of time. Too funny. Keep up the great posts.


Winter said...

This is really, really, funny.

Joseph said...

This is kind of funny. I like.

Melody Lam said...

I never knew the Borg could stoop so low and graffiti the woman's washroom! *gasp*

Beverly and Jean-Luc have some problems admitting publicly that they're in love *cough*

Somewhere Kathryn Janeway should come back!

Team Talks are fun!

Anonymous said...

Great blog. I've been catching up & laughing all week!

I wonder if the Enterprise crew will ever somehow take a brief trip 3 million years into the future, & beam down to a ship called Red Dwarf? I'd love to read about how Kryten & Data might get along, or what the Enterprise crew thought of Dave Lister & Arnold Rimmer!

When I next watch them, I'll review four of your cinematic adventures in my blog. said...

What a joy to read!

Radical One said...

stopping in to say hello. glad to see things are going well and you're keeping everyone entertained. great work!

stay steady!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You should declare all staff meetings be held with everyone standing. That'll keep 'em quick.

bluepaul said...

free tunes at my [non-profit] website!

Portman said...

Just wanted to say that, though I have never been more than a casual fan of Star Trek, I like your blog and find it very funny. Just thought I'd let you know.

KojiroMusashi said...

Happened upon your blog with the Blogs of Note. Thought I had enough to occupy my time, but now I'll have to re-schedule everything to read your archives. Hilarious! Keep up the great work.

Scubes said...

Hey, you're a great big NERD!

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