Tuesday, June 13, 2006
I'm on a vacation with my girlfriend Trisha Lewis; we're going to the beach planet of Darak VI; lots of sun and sand ahead!
Paradise City, Arizona, man!
There's just one downer on all this sunshine. Darak VI is close to the Cardassian border, and is considered a place where both races can go for a break without any trouble.
I never fancied going to a resort where a Cardassian has his hols, but Trisha talked me into it, as she said it was an ideal place where she can top up her tan and show off her latest bikini.
With persuasion like that, I'm hardly going to say no, am I?
We arrive at the hotel, called Cardassian Star; the clerk behind is a Cardassian, he ignores us and attends to the couple behind us, and those behind them. Eventually, I start to get mad.
"Hey, meteor face!" I say, ringing the service-bell, "We'd like some attention here!"
He grudgingly l0oks at us and checks us in.
The Cardassian bellhop is there, but does not bother with us, but cheerfully awaits for the next family from Cardassia.
We drag our cases to the room on the 7th floor.
"We should have had a modern hotel, Trisha" I tell her, "At least one with a Transporter that took us both to our room; this one doesn't even have a lift."
It's dinner time. The menu this evening consist of Regova Eggs, followed by Zabu Stew, drunk with Red Leaf Tea. All well-known Cardassian delicacies.
"Do you have any meals for humans here?" Trisha asks the Maitre'D.
He laughs, walks over to the waiter, points to us, talks and he laughs as well.
This could be a long vacation.
With it getting late at night, we head out to the local town. There's a night club in the centre called 'The Four Lights'. We go in.
Everywhere goes quiet inside, as all the Cardassians inside turn round and stare at us in amazement. It looks like a human hasn't been in 'The Four Lights' before.
The noisy sound continues, and we are informed that it is the "'top sound on Cardassia right now, guys and gals".
I should have put some of Beverly's headache pills in the case.
Next morning, I see that all the sun loungers by the pool are occupied by towels. The Cardassians have got up at the crack of dawn, and placed them there, then gone away, intending to return later.
"We can't let them get away with that, Geordi!" says Trisha.
"I agree" I tell her, as I pick a couple of loungers and throw the towels off. We lie down, apply the sunblock, and start to relax.
An hour later, I notice there is a shade across the lounger.
"Has the sun gone in?" I ask Trisha.
"Errr....no" she carefully replies.
I look and the shadow belongs to a large, muscular Cardassian who is just wearing his Speedo costume. Not a pretty sight, I can tell you, nor is his wife, who was in a bikini.
"You will leave, now, human!" he tells us.
"Oh....er...sure..." I tell him, "Just keeping it ..err warm for you."
We depart rapidly.
Later that day, I see the musculer Cardassian sleeping on his Li-Lo on the pool; I sneak to my room and advise Trisha to start packing, as it's time to leave. She agrees, and I take out my small phaser.
Going to the poool, I aim my phaser it his Li-Lo, and start to see it sinking.
I run back, and we are at the Reception.
Time to checkout, man!