One can always tell when there is trouble ahead when they get a visit from Admiral Barton. He's the head of SMUG (Starfleet Missions Underhand Group). They go on all sorts of sneaky missions. There are rumours of another even more covert group, but I'm sure they don't exist.
"We need you to do a little mission for us, Captain" says Barton in my Ready Room. He is joined an official-looking alien.
"Not another one, Admiral!" I groan.
I always seem to be the one selected for these sort of things. At this rate, I should have a Walther PPK phaser, a Martini shaken, not stirred and a regulation Tuxedo, let alone someome explaining the latest gadgets who says "Pay attention, Picard!"
"You're so good at it, Captain" Barton explains, "You managed to bring down that crime ring which was headed by one of our own Admirals recently."
"All right, Admiral." I reluctantly say, "What do I have to do?"
"There have been reports that on the planet Taos II, an underground organisation is threatening to destabilise the government that is there. You need to find out who they are and put everything right. With me is Taran. He is the Emperor's second in command, and has come to me with this. As Taos is in the Federation, we have to help"
"We want you to take two people with you, Captain."
Seven and Beverly come in.
"They have been briefed as to the mission" Barton tells me, "Doctor Crusher will act as your woman, and Seven will be the bodyguard for the both of you."
Beverley smiles; Seven sneers.
"This should be fun, Jean-Luc" Bev tells me.
"Fun is irrelevant!" Seven says dismissively.
Hours later, the three of us have landed on Taos II, and are looking around the seedier parts of the main city there. Everybody has a hood one and is trying to hide their faces. The three of us are doing the same. We can't have people knowing there is a Borg drone in the city.
"We need to round up and assimilate troublemakers!" declares Seven.
"There will be no assimilating on this mission." I tell her.
"Not even a little bit?" she asks.
"No, not even a little bit"
Seven looks disappointed.
We go in a pub and see some even shadier people around; after hearing some malcontented whispers about the governmental set up, I decide to say something.
"My friends and I are eager to see the government dislodged" I tell them, "Can we talk further?"
We are all eyed suspiciously, as if they are Interplanetary Customs and we might have bought some questionable substances in.
"Who might you strangers be?" the seediest one asks me with a stare.
"Err...I'm Jada, this is my woman Therase, and this here is Sevena."
Seven looks disgusted at my lack of imagination.
"Well" says the man, "My name is Koth; there is an anti-government meeting tonight at the Shady Beggar Club at 19:00. Tell the doorman that Koth sent you and he will let you in."
That evening, 19:00 draws near; we all have our cloaks on and look very shady.
"Are you all ready?" I ask.
"Yes, Jean-Luc" replies Beverly.
"Affirmative, Locutus" states Seven.
"Don't call me that, Seven" I tell her, "Remember here, we are Jada, Therase and Sevena."
We approach the doorman of the Shady Beggar Club, and tell him in my best seedy-underworld voice that Koth sent us. He eyes us and sends us in.
Inside lots of voices are shouting disparaging remarks about the government. We join in, then see Koth on the platform.
"Fellow revolutionaries." he tells them, "We have some spies amongst us tonight!"
Our faces go white.
To be continued.