Sunday, June 11, 2006

Paintball

I'm curreently on Taxa V, a jungle-like planet where I and the other senior staff are playing Paintball.

This is something that has been encouraged by the Starfleet hierarchy so that crews can 'bond together' and be more of a team.

What tosh.

We each have 24th Century style paintguns and are creeping around the jungle hoping to cover each other with paint. The last one remaining will be the winner, and will get an extra day's vacation this year.

I don't intend to get paint on my uniform, and I want that day's vacation.

Listening, I hear a Klingon voice talking.

"I'm sorry, Mr LaForge." says Worf, "You have been painted and are therefore eliminated from this competition.

That's one gone, then; I sneak up behind Worf and cover him with paint from my gun. He mutters a few Klingon expletives and says it was not honourable for a warrior to sneak up behind an opponent.

How sneaky; I can't see this competition 'bonding people'.

Further into the jungle; more voices. Riker and Deanna.

"Look Deanna" says Riker, "If we team up, we can eliminate everybody else together. One of us would get the free vacation day and the other would go with them."

Typical Riker; doing things behind my back.

"Great idea, Will." replies Deanna, and promptly sprays him with paint before he can reply. That's Deanna for you.

I go to spray her, but disappears swiftly. I follow her. That Betazoid is going to get covered in paint.

More voices; it's Jadzia talking to Deanna.

"Time for a showdown, Troi!" shouts Jadzia, "Go for your Paintball gun." It sounds like they are in the Wild West.

Deanna is the slow one and gets covered in a paint that will be hard to remove. Jadzia is gleeful and laughs.

"Sorry to spoil your enjoyment, Jadzia" I tell her, before giving her the paint treatment.

The senior staff are being eliminated; I've still got a clean uniform on.

Where are the others? Suddenly another voice; then another. Seven and Data.

"Resistance is futile!" Seven tells him, "I was the Borg Paintball Champion on Unimatrix 01. I always beat the Borg Queen and the other drones. Stand by to be painted."

"That may be so, Seven." Data informs her, "My creator, Dr Noonian Soong, happened to install a Paintball Professional chip in me. I am undefeated."

The two shoot their guns together and both are covered in paint; nothing for me to do.

Now let's see; who is left?

Why is my uniform covered in paint? Someone has just fired a gun on me.

"Sorry about that, Jean-Luc" says Beverly, "I needed that extra day to see Wes. I'll take your uniform to the laundry and get it cleaned."

"I'd rather lose to you, Beverly than anyone else." I tell her.

We smile; I kiss her.

I guess Paintball DOES bond people together, after all.

26 comments:

David said...

thats a great post - you are talented and crazed - a wonderful combination

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Hi Jean-Luc! Michele sent me today...I have to pass on a fellow bloggers post for today...it's all about one of your fellow Star Trekkers...I'll have to come back my dear, because I don't know her address off hand...
AND, btw: Michele sent me today...I'll be back in a moment....

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Here is the address, my dear Captain:
http://herethereandeverywhere2ndedition.blogspot.com/

I think you might enjoy this post....(Well, I'm not sure, but I think so....HUGS to you)

ribbiticus said...

hi jean-luc! am here via michele today but you know i'm always lurking about! hmmm...didn't know paintball was being played there. all's well that ends well, eh? lol! ;)

craziequeen said...

Perhaps Wes will have an 'accident' and you'll be able to spend the extra day with Bev??

:-)

cq

Nic said...

Awwwww! That's so sweet! And I totally agree with CQ on this. A little minor accident can be arranged and they'll never have to know it was you behind it. ;)

emi said...

I think if Ensign Ro were there, she'd have come out on top. She's pretty feisty.

Ciera said...

I'll help you out of your uniform and keep you company while Bev takes it to the laundry.....

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

It seems you have had great fun. Good idea for a party fun.

Professor Xavier said...

Aw, a happy ending. How sweet. At least Bev is gracious in victory. Better luck next time, Captain. You should have had Watson scouting for you.

Raehan said...

This reminded me a bit of "The Office" (the television show) and that's a good thing.

Way to go Captain Picard! Getting some romance in there.

heather said...

heh. nice work, cap'n.

Viamarie said...

Good work! Keep it going.

Cheers to a lovely week.

Vegeta said...

Well look at this way : now You don't have to visit Wesley

Digital Art Photography for Dummies said...

You go girl, Bev.
http://digitalartphotographyfordummies.blogspot.com/

Helen Louise said...

That got a big "aaaaw" from me today, Captain. And it's not like she'll be using her day off to have fun ;)

Trinity13 said...

Just don't get too close with that kiss...you'll get paint on her!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I don't think Bev minds getting a little paint for the kiss, Trin.

Professor, that's a good idea. I should have sent Watson as a scout.

Ciera, you're so kind....

CQ, thanks for the URL

Paperback Writer said...

I've never been and I'm a little afraid that my friends will go crazy with the power of the paintball.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Last time I went paintballing, the people on the course insisted that the weapon is called a "paintball marker" not a "paintball gun." I don't know if that's supposed to be PC or not, but it sounds like it.

Magdalena said...

aww try filling the paintball with chocolate and then it just be you and bev
gives a whole new meaning to bonding ;)

Merlyn Gabriel said...

Dear Captain Picard,

Lord Vader has informed me that paint ballpaint is a devil to get out of clothing, Please don't ask me how he knows....

anyway...glad you had fun!

-Merly

Free to Be said...

I think you let her win Captain. What a gentleman.

Osquer said...

The universe will not be perfect until someone creates the chocolate pudding pellet gun!

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