Thursday, May 18, 2006

Laundry Breakdown

A vital part of engineering has broken down on the Enterprise.

It's the laundry machine.

Without this, over 1000 people are going to be without their regular snazzy uniforms that look so good when we have our pictures taken.

As Geordi works feverously through the hours, Lieutenant Commander Data has thought of a solution.

"In the holodecks, Captain" he suggests, "We could have Laundromat machines set up there so that everything could be cleaned."

It sounds a great idea.

When I get to the holodeck, I realise that Laundromats don't exist in the 24th Century. I address the computer..

"Please create typical Laundromat late 20th Century-early 21st Century."

"Affirmative"

As a lot of Earth citizens went to a Launderette at this time in history, I think this would be a good period.

I get the uniform that I want cleaning and go in with Beverly, Worf and Jadzia.

There are a few machines with clothes spinning around. Some holographic characters are in front of them, watching their clothes spin round. They take no notice of us.

I go to my machine and put my clothes in; the others do the same.

Then we realise we haven't got any money to start our machines going.

Worf hits the machine in frustration and breaks it.

"Oi!" says a man in the corner, "You'll have to pay for that!"

He must be the holographic owner.

"Computer" I say, "Produce small change suitable for the 20th Century"

A pile of coins appear on the machine, suitable for us all.

I put my money in the machine and start it going; in the meantime, I see Beverly putting her uniform and several small items of underwear. She blushes when she sees me. I hurriedly pick up a magazine to read.

We are all reading our magazines when looking at our clothes circulating in the machine.

A ping suddenly goes off. We empty our machines and put them in the basket. Worf is looking very irritated by it all.

"Klingons are warriors!" he says, "They do not go to a Laundromat to clean their clothes!"

Jadzia tries to suppress her giggle.

Geordi comes in.

"Captain" he exclaim, "I've managed to repair the laundry machine a lot earlier than expected. You can all come out now."

"That's great!" says Beverly, "Of course, Jean-Luc, you could always come back here next week...providing you can get the computer to give us some coins!"

55 comments:

Trinity13 said...

Oh...nice one Bev!!! Wow Capt, sounds like a date!

Carlos Thor said...

I'm Vader speaking, general of the imperial fleet of Lord Sidious! you had finished to enter in the radar field of ours federation! Please identify readily or we will not hesitate in opening hostilities!

Ciera said...

Read any good articles???? :)

Professor Xavier said...

So tell me Jean-Luc, does Beverly know about Padme? ;-)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You didn't mix the reds and whiyes did you? You don't want to do that.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Or whites. Oops.

no_average_girl said...

hey Captain PIcard...sorry I've been somewhat absent recently...between being sick and my keyboard being "sick" it's been haywire around here. But......I'm back!!!! :-)

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear Sir,

Aren't we a Play'a.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

I'm just curious how washers would look in the 24th century. Maybe this would be like including folding clothes after washing.
(lol)

gugon said...

I always used to wonder how they handle laundry on the Death Star. On a space station that big, surely they would need a rather large and complex system for handling laundry.

But what about Vader's cape? They can't just toss that into the machine along with all the officer's uniforms and stormtrooper underwear. It would have to be handled delicately. Probably hand washed.

So who is responsible for washing Vader's cape? I know I certainly wouldn't want that job. He's very particular. One spot or wrinkle and he's liable to put the squeeze on you. I'd say this would probably be the highest turnover job on the Death Star.

On the other hand, I bet it pays pretty good.

Miss Cellania said...

Oy, who wants to think about laundry... I'm knee deep in it!

Douglas V. Gibbs said...

Doesn't everybody have their own dirty laundry?

Ancient Clown said...

"It is better to have a clean soul than clean clothes."
Hey Captain:
What would your response be to this age old question...Why DID the Chicken...make it a good one and I'll add it.
your humble servant,
Ancient Clown

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Vader, wait until we've got our clean laundry on.

Ciera, there were some VERY interesting articles.

Professor, as I have stressed, Padme and I are just friends on the same intellectual plane.

Jon, red & whites? Woops!

No Average Girl, wonderful to have you back.

Henchman, just WHO is Dr Polaris?

Friday's Child, they haven't changed at all.

Gugon, I'm sure some minion get's to clean Vader's cape, and if there is a stain, then it's to the airlock with the minion!

Dave said...

You need help.:-)
Here from Michele's.

WW said...

Very funny! I can see them all sitting in the laundromat with a cup of starbucks and donuts waiting for the dryer to stop.
WW

Professor Xavier said...

I'll take that as a 'no' then, Captain.

tammyswofford said...

Jean Luc,
I hate to tell you this, but the Borg's took over the ship while you were worried about laundry.

As CDR of the ship, should not that minor problem been delegated to a rather low ranking underling?

LCDR Tammy Swofford, USNR
(We have ships too!)

business voodoo said...

... i just want to know if it was hot and humid and smelled like a mixture of gatorade and bleach?
thank god for gordi ... while people watching at laundry mats is a gas once or twice, it gets old very, very quickly!
peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Dear AL said...

I've seen you on Michele's before, but she didn't send me, Blogger did. You're a Blog of Note!

Since I told you this news, can I have some change? Just 4 million quarters, that's all.

Daydream believer said...

Way to go Picard on blogs of note!

MelonCollieDreamer said...

I am sorry but that is just too weird. The whole pretending you are on the Enterprise. You don't find that ODD??

Vampirella said...

I dont have many cloths to wash and they have to be hand washed

Joe Evans said...

Nice blog why don't you look at mine

Marie said...

Well, I laughed.

Anonymous said...

Nerd Alert

BionicBuddha said...

Jean Luc is ok...but James T. Kirk was the King! That man could kick some Romulan a** !!




www.bionicbuddha.com

Nova said...

This post made me laugh because I just posted an entry about laundromats.

N.P. said...

woulda ended better if picard took beverly on top of the dryers.

Revolutionary Blogger said...

Great post...Keep up the good work.

(SR71)Atomica said...

Hey captain, can I help you find some belts or electric motors for that washer? Maybe I could help your technicians.
And O yeh...you've been blogged. Good job.

Have a look on your leisure...

http://sr71atomica.blogspot.com/2006/05/captain-picards-journal-another-one-of.html

See you along the way...

Samantha said...

Is there no Maytag Man aboard, then? Tsk.

S. Scott Craft said...

Hope you can get your laundry done, I am working on mine now. I hope you recieve this transmission, since I am in the 21st century and you in the 24th century.

Hope you have clean underwear soon.

Robert Shapiro said...

A wonderful entertaining site. Keep up the good work - we all need this level of entertainment. Well done.
Goodlife

heather said...

i'm sooooooooooooo glad blogger featured your blog, cap'n, as a blog of note. i look forward to future transmissions with great eagerness.

ps. i hope next time you dance around with some of beverly's undies. a girl can dream.

Darren Reece said...

Very nice blog, Captain, well above the requirements set by Starfleet. However, I must confess to being a closet Kirk fan after watching you get headbutted in ‘Generations’, It was too much to bear.

astronautje said...

now i am not a space/science fiction/shooting fan, but your blog is so funny and so great to read!

all that hi-tech, but we are all just humans, with our dirty laundry... Brilliant, one should be jeallous at your fantasy!

Great work, i will be stoppping by in the Holodeck from time to time...

Glenndavid

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

Ha!! Too funny.

I cant wait to see if you've documented any of Jean-Luc's sexual escapades.

Slim said...

I wanna know if anyone got a look at Seven of Nine's underwear!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Wow! What a lot of responses! I had no idea I had been posted on Blogger! That's a real honour.

wisteria said...

"You will never come up against a greater adversary than your own potential, my young friend. ~Michael Piller & Michael Wagner, Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Evolution," Dr. Paul Stubbs to Wesley Crusher, original airdate 25 September 1989, stardate 43,125.8."

Great Blog! Found you on bloggers. Nice job.

Pearl said...

That is one cute scene. I can totally picture it. :-)

april said...

Har har har! Lovin it!

I always ask people how can you actually eat the food on the holodeck, so here goes - how can you actually wash your clothes there too. The whole "only real on the holodeck thing" is hard to get my mind round...

Will come aboard often (with the captain's permission of course!) to read what is up on the Enterprise!

Cataclysmic Knight said...

LOL this was, for lack of better word, awesome! I'm certainly not a trekkie, but I am a major dork, and absolutely love this blog, but this post took the cake!

kattbanjo said...

Hey there! Hit next blog and landed in your galaxy. Request permission to come aboard you big bald, sexy, man, you! Oopsies, Was that insubordination? Am so digging your blog!

Stranger in a Strange Land said...

Better the laundry system on the fritz than the waste disposal system.

Osquer said...

"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence." --Vivian (The Young Ones once found themselves in a similar situation)

Sarah Letnes said...

Those uniforms don't need to be dry cleaned?

Nick and Dan said...

Isn't Jadiza on DS9 and not the Enterprise... i believe you're thinking of Deanna Troi!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Nick & Dan, if you look on earlier posts, Jadzia Dax has been temporarily transferred from DS9 to the Enterprise.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

I hope the uniforms didn't shrink....

-merly

caramaena said...

hehe, love it.

here via Michele's

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