Sunday, May 14, 2006

Pipe And Slippers

Today, Lieutenant Sinclair of Starfleet Resources has come aboard for a chat.

This is most disconcerting, as that section is usually only concerned with the amount of people we have.

The department used to be called 'Human Resources', of course, but we could hardly keep calling it that when there are so many aliens. The Vulcans were the first to object to this title. They would be.

"Ah, Captain Picard" says Sinclair, as I meet him in my Ready Room. He shakes my hand and sits down.

"Welcome to the Enterprise, Lieutenant." I say to him.

"Ah, the Enterprise!" he warmly talks, "Flagship of the fleet, Captain, you must be so proud of being in charge of it all."

"Indeed I am." I reply.

"You've been with Starfleet ah....a long time, haven't you, Captain?" Sinclair asks, "Haven't you ever thought that such a magnificent ship might be too much to handle?"

I can see it coming, but look as if I don't know.

"What do you mean, Lieutenant?"

"Err..ahh, well, have you ever thought of handing the reins over to a younger man? I'm sure Commander Riker would be ideal."

"No I haven't!" I firmly tell him.

Sinclair is taken aback. Did he think I was eagerly expecting to go?

"Captain" he continues, "The burdens of command can weigh heavily on the shoulders as one ages. You know that Starfleet have a generous pension plan. Why not take advantage of the early retirement scheme?"

"Why should I?" I reply sharply.

"Think of all you can do, Captain" he says with hesitancy, "You can err.. relax at home with your err..pipe and slippers, take your for a walk and get copy of the Federation Bugle from newspaper shops."

"I don't want a pipe and slippers, nor do I want a dog, and I don't read the Federation Bugle!" I tell him loudly.

"What about the gold watch you'll be presented with by the President of Starfleet on the day of your retirement?" he pleads.

"I can replicate one of those right here on the Enterprise; in fact, I intend to be with Starfleet at least another 30 years!"

Sinclair goes pale.

"What about Commander Riker?" he asks.

"He'll have to find another ship to be in charge of...unless I ever get promoted to Admiral, which seems long overdue." I tell him.

Sinclair leaves my Ready Room, a little dazed.

Riker comes in shortly after.

"What was that all about?" he asks.

"Just talking about the level of personel, Number One." I say, "Did you want anything?"

"Only to say I've had another message saying I'm on the shortlist for a Captaincy on a small transport ship." he says, "I don't know who keeps filling them in. I won't go for the interview, as I'd like the Captaincy here too much."

"I wonder who fills them out?" I say innocently, "Maybe some day your chance here will come?"


Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Cpt, you are devious. I love it. And a whole new batch of job openings has popped up for Riker, I'll send them along if you'd like

Nic said...

Captain, honestly they have no idea what they would do without you. Without your capable leadership the universe would have been destroyed a multiple of times over, I mean seriously. A man of your expertise is so hard to come by when everything seems to be all cookie cutter and follow orders blindly without thought for the end results.

They are very lucky to have you in the Federation.

Jabafatboy said...

A pipe and Slippers !!

Dont they Know that you are much more a Cigar and Brandy Man !!

I think riker would do well as capitan of the Freighter the Dunkin.

Hauls around some kind of pastery things

teahouse said...

Watch out for Riker! He may try to eliminate you and take your place..

And don't Frenchmen like you prefer to relax with a sirop de cassis?

Shane said...

Let's hope Number 1 doesn't do a Number 2 on you. lol

~michele sent me from the "C" list

Miss Cellania said...

Get 'em an inch, and they will stab you in the back every time. One more reason I am unemployed right now!

Viamarie said...

They are surely lucky to have you.

Have a great week ahead!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

They really should make you an admiral already, except then you wouldn't get to stay on the Enterprise, most likely. Maybe you could get promoted, then tell everyone that you need to use the Enterprise to go stop the Borg/Cardasians/Romulans/Gorn/whatever then keep the ship 'til you're done.

Ciera said...

You handled that nicely...

Professor Xavier said...

If Riker won't take the hint and accept the job as captain of the garbage scow, then perhaps you can arrange for him to have a little trasporter "accident." You know, dump him off in the Mirror Universe or something like that. It would probably be good for his character, so you'd actually be doing him a favor.

Lori said...

Oh no....Getting rid of Riker....surely NOT!!!

Have a great day!!!

Wren said...

Hey, Captain. I'm looking forward to reading your blog! Since it's obviously continuous, I'm going to have to start at the beginning. It sounds fun!

mrsmogul said...

You know who fills them out? The team from Alien! Sigorney Weaver just won't let it go!

Radical One said...

mothers day was great, thanks!

hope things are going well for you and yours!

stay steady!

Susanna said...

Hmmm, glad I'm not up against you when it come to promotion!

Captain Berk said...

Shrewd work Picard.

Keep him hanging on. I can't see you as an admiral. You'd get bored and mix it up a little so they demote you.

Kinda like me..

Trinity13 said...

Another 30 years?! Wow Capt, you in for the long haul!!!

M. C. Pearson said...

Gee...I wonder! Ha!

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