Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Job Interview

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The Cap has insisted that I attend a job interview; I've had so many notes saying I'm on a shortlist, although I have never applied for any of them.

"Nonsense, Number One!" says the Cap, "You really need to get yourself known in Starfleet. Before long, they will forget about you. After all, you don't want to stay Commander on this Starship, do you?"

"Actually, I like it here" I reply, "What Captaincy am I applying for here?"

"It doesn't matter" Picard says, "The important thing is it's the role of a Captain; you want that, don't you?"

"I suppose so." I tell him.

"Of course you do, Number One, "Remember that with the Captain's position, you get a key to the Executive Washroom at Starfleet Headquarters."

I brighten up. "Do I?"

"Absolutely!"

"In that case." I tell him, "I'll go."

-----------------------------------

I'm now at Starfleet Headquarters and am waiting to go in.

"Admiral Gordon will see you now" trills the secretary, and I walk in.

The Admiral looks gruffly at me.

"You didn't knock!" he tells me, "All applicants should knock!"

"Sorry about that." I say, and sit down.

"Did I invite you to sit down?" inquires Admiral Gordon.

"Errr...no." I answer.

"Then why are you sitting down?" he asks.

He picks up a file and looks at it, then looks at me.

"Not very good are you? he tells me, "A bit of a backroom person, content to stay in the shadow of Captain Picard and have the easy life aboard a glamourous starship."

"It's not like that at all!" I tell him, "The Enterprise has saved the universe a number of times; I've been there while it's happened."

"Did I ask you to answer a question, Riker?" Gordon tells me aggressively, "I can tell you, sonny, I've saved more universes than you've had donuts. You can be sure, this appointment will sort out the men from the boys"

"Which starship is it sir?"

Gordon laughs out loud.

"Who said it was a starship, sonny?" says the Admiral, "This job is for the Captaincy of the Candide."

"The Candide?" I ask, "Isn't that the garbage vessel that takes rubbish and scrap to the Forbidden Zone?"

"Got it in one, sonny"

"What happened to the last Captain?" I inquire.

"He died from radiation poisoning?" Gordon answers.

"I heard he only started four months ago."

"That's right" Gordon informs me without blinking, "The Candide has ahm.... a fast turnover of crew members. What it carries can have an amount of radioactivity in it. Still, you get used to it while you're there. It has good medical facilities when you start to feel ill."

I start to turn white.

"Remember, Riker" he adds, "There is always a chance of a sideways move to another ship once you've completed that term of duty on the Candide, if you can last that long."

"I think I like it where I am, sir." I tell him, and start to leave.

"No wonder you're still a Commander, sonny." Gordon tells me, "All these great appointments come up and you don't take advantage of them. The Candide needs more men like you. "

-----------------------------

"You had a chance of Captaincy there, Number One." the Cap tells me in his Ready Room, "The Candide is a sturdy ship. You would have had the key to the Executive Washroom."

"If I ever lived long enough to use it." I reply.

51 comments:

-xtessa- said...

ah... there's always a catch! poor riker!

J.A. Author said...

Ah, but canon tells us that Riker turned down the captaincy more than once to remain on the Enterprise.

Bartholemu is a G said...

OMG OMG YES YES

N.P. said...

he's always getting the shaft. what a schmuck.

Wedge Antillies said...

Atta boy, Riker, show them the real backbone of mediocrity! They will never take you alive!

Mauricem said...

LOL
Ah, the "Candide". A play on the Voltaire novel "Candide, or Optimism"?

Trinity13 said...

Since Deann prob won't join him, why would Riker ever want to leave?

Miss Cellania said...

Can't win for losing, huh? Looks like your never going to get shed of Riker. So the adventure of "the folks who have been around each other too long" continues!

The Curmudgeon said...

In the 24th Century there are no keys for the Captains' washrooms. There're no pockets in which the keys may be carried! Everything is computer-recognition of voiceprints.

Or fingerprints. After Anxiesha of Quietus 5, a member of a race of mute telepaths was promoted Captain, they had to also recognize fingerprints. But not before there was a very unfortunate incident....

Master Yoda said...

At the Jedi Temple, an executive washroom we have not. But, that we have one, we tell all new Jedi Masters. A key we give them and to the "room" we point them. But only to the roof of the Temple it goes!

Hee hee! Hee hee! snort Hee hee!

Barbara said...

Congrats on being a "Blog of Note" on Blogger Buzz!

Craig C said...

The best blog ever...


For me to poop on!

-Triumph

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

It's like Studio 21.

Er, make that Catch 21, heh heh.

Jen said...

HA! That's hilarious!

Poor Riker.

Raehan said...

You might have been at an army recruiting center. I'm not sure. Hee-hee.

Love your sense of humor!

Karnov said...

You made blogger buzz... Impressive display of honor, captain.

Magdalena said...

the captian certianly is in a hurry to get rid of you riker

Scott said...

I thought the last blog I visited one the most interesting...I was wrong.

no_average_girl said...

I would've went with your decision, Commander! :-) Tell the Captain you want to borrow his key ;-)

emi said...

Ahhh, well. You blew it anyway when you didn't knock and sat without invitation.

Better luck next time!

a certain Orion Slave Girl said...

I can think of a few positions Riker could fill! ;)

craziequeen said...

I'm impressed that you are short-listed so much, Riker....

Your CV must be the talk of StarFleet :-)

cq

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

good choise Commander. Not a lot of chances to "Kirk" the women if you are on a garbage ship. I think it would have reflected poorly on you if you had choosen the Candide.

Ciera said...

Maybe he'll get the next job, Jean-Luc...I have a friend who can helppolish his resume so that it looks good...

Melody Lam said...

ah, poor poor Riker! "Fire at Will", and now this.

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear Sir,

Don't let that doof of an Admiral get you down.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

fredp said...

Keep up the good work, can't wait for the next one!

fredp -
Build a web site with webascender

Professor Xavier said...

Something I've always suspected about Riker is that he secretly offended some higher up at Star Fleet. Perhaps he slept with some Admiral's wife or parked in someone's parking spot or something. The reason why they won't promote him is because he's been black listed. He just uses the "But I really like it here on Enterprise" thing just because he can't handle the shame.

wildheart4vr said...

Very cool blog will be making it back here ever so often

Captain Berk said...

That Riker is a real layabout.

I served on that ship as it's very first captain. Did it do me any harm?

No!

Look where I am now.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

It seems that Riker does like the easy life. I'll have to fill in a few more job applications for him.

Jabafatboy said...

I keep tellin Ya , the captiancy of the Dunkin.

Its a pastry vessel.

It cant miss.

Simon said...

scckSuch is lif.

Hillary For President said...

GRATE BLOG!! I am adding a link too you're blog at my sight.

Hillary-for-President.blogspot.com

nettie said...

If that Exectutive washroom is anything like Harry Potter's prefects' bathroom...

Idblur said...

I love star trek! this is a great blog check out mine when you get the chance.

Lauri said...

classic next generation material so sci fi

Canadian Mark said...

I don't know about your Federation, but I've just been declined two jobs with the Empire, and if I go another month without paying rent, Jabba's going to put a price tag on my head so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be after me. I so want a job with The Empire too - for the dental plan if nothing else.

Lori said...

"He died from radiation poisoning?" Gordon answers....LOL....priceless!!!

Have a great day!!!

Loki said...

and you thought getting sent to Napoleon in the SHOTMCE was bad? Think again :)and yes, a gateway leading to this blog is on-site at Fragments of a symphony written!

JJ said...

Wow! My uncle Mike would love to read this blog; and I would agree with him that it is pretty interesting.

My name's J.J., and I run an establishment known as the "Islander Tavern". Here's your invitation to fun:

www.letsgoislanders2005.blogspot.com



Live long and prosper...

april said...

Wow Cap, I'm surprised you're so keen to get rid of Riker. Who will you get to do all the rubbish away missions etc? Who will do the odd Roddenberry inspired episodes where Riker always wears an ugly metallic top while off duty, sleeps with an alien, and leaves us viewers feeling slightly dirty?

That raises the question who would take Rikers place?

Loki said...

Ugghh... It makes me shiver just to contemplate.The "Winter" at the merry Land of Oz makes it even worse!

Jana said...

Riker is loyal, if nothing else, I guess!

Captain Berk said...

I'd do the same for Wesley Crusher as well, the sycophantic little tyke.

Riker and him would make a fine double act

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Oh, but for that hitch!

Captain: I just saw that your blog is listed among the blogs of interest!

Bravo, to the Enterprise Fleet!

Anonymous said...

Verrrrrrrrrrry Cool blog, yo:)

The Life Artistic with Sara Holt

Sara Holt

Chris said...

This is fun stuff. Keep them coming.

Chris (My Blog)

Pearl said...

Great episode. :-) A scowl for a garbage scow. Good call Will.

And congrats on getting a plug on http://buzz.blogger.com/

Keeping your pips polished I see.

metromon said...

Dog Food
Job
Building Materials
Car Audio
Real Estateet

Anonymous said...

豆豆聊天室 aio交友愛情館 2008真情寫真 2009真情寫真 aa片免費看 捷克論壇 微風論壇 大眾論壇 plus論壇 080視訊聊天室 情色視訊交友90739 美女交友-成人聊天室 色情小說 做愛成人圖片區 豆豆色情聊天室 080豆豆聊天室 小辣妹影音交友網 台中情人聊天室 桃園星願聊天室 高雄網友聊天室 新中台灣聊天室 中部網友聊天室 嘉義之光聊天室 基隆海岸聊天室 中壢網友聊天室 南台灣聊天室 南部聊坊聊天室 台南不夜城聊天室 南部網友聊天室 屏東網友聊天室 台南網友聊天室 屏東聊坊聊天室 雲林網友聊天室 大學生BBS聊天室 網路學院聊天室 屏東夜語聊天室 孤男寡女聊天室 一網情深聊天室 心靈饗宴聊天室 流星花園聊天室 食色男女色情聊天室 真愛宣言交友聊天室 情人皇朝聊天室 上班族成人聊天室 上班族f1影音視訊聊天室 哈雷視訊聊天室 080影音視訊聊天室 38不夜城聊天室 援交聊天室080 080哈啦聊天室 台北已婚聊天室 已婚廣場聊天室 夢幻家族聊天室 摸摸扣扣同學會聊天室 520情色聊天室 QQ成人交友聊天室 免費視訊網愛聊天室 愛情公寓免費聊天室 拉子性愛聊天室 柔情網友聊天室 哈啦影音交友網 哈啦影音視訊聊天室 櫻井莉亞三點全露寫真集 123上班族聊天室 尋夢園上班族聊天室 成人聊天室上班族 080上班族聊天室 6k聊天室 粉紅豆豆聊天室 080豆豆聊天網 新豆豆聊天室 080聊天室 免費音樂試聽 流行音樂試聽 免費aa片試看A片 免費a長片線上看 色情貼影片 免費a長片 本土成人貼圖站 大台灣情色網 台灣男人幫論壇 A圖網 嘟嘟成人電影網 火辣春夢貼圖網 情色貼圖俱樂部 台灣成人電影 絲襪美腿樂園 18美女貼圖區 柔情聊天網 707網愛聊天室聯盟 台北69色情貼圖區 38女孩情色網 台灣映像館 波波成人情色網站 美女成人貼圖區 無碼貼圖力量 色妹妹性愛貼圖區 日本女優貼圖網 日本美少女貼圖區 亞洲風暴情色貼圖網 哈啦聊天室 美少女自拍貼圖 辣妹成人情色網 台北女孩情色網 辣手貼圖情色網 AV無碼女優影片 男女情色寫真貼圖 a片天使俱樂部 萍水相逢遊戲區 平水相逢遊戲區 免費視訊交友90739 免費視訊聊天 辣妹視訊 - 影音聊天網 080視訊聊天室 日本美女肛交 美女工廠貼圖區 百分百貼圖區 亞洲成人電影情色網 台灣本土自拍貼圖網 麻辣貼圖情色網 好色客成人圖片貼圖區 711成人AV貼圖區 台灣美女貼圖區 筱萱成人論壇 咪咪情色貼圖區 momokoko同學會視訊 kk272視訊 情色文學小站 成人情色貼圖區 嘟嘟成人網 嘟嘟情人色網 - 貼圖區 免費色情a片下載 台灣情色論壇 成人影片分享 免費視訊聊天區 微風 成人 論壇 kiss文學區 taiwankiss文學區