A new directive has been sent from Starfleet ordering how staff Bridge Staff should behave in certain situations. I am reading this out to them.
1: Don't slouch on the chairs; when the viewscreen comes on, people want to see a smart, efficient crew, even if they are hostile and about to invade.
2: If an alien announces "We will destroy your ship.", don't immediately respond with a full spread of photon torpedoes. This will cause hostility. Instead, put on an understanding smile and ask gently, "Do you REALLY want to do that?" Offer them coffee and a donut, so you can talk peacefully.
3: If an alien group invades the ship, remember to say "Welcome to the Enterprise." when they board. Show them around the ship and take them to Ten Forward. This will break the ice between races, and encourage friendship.
4: Don't set the Self Destruct sequence off. Starships cost a lot to build. It costs a lot to train personel as well.
5: Namebadges should be worn by all personel. How will anyone know each other is, especially in a Galaxy-Class starship?
6: Stardates will be used at all times. It is not acceptable to use terms like 'half past eight last Thursday'.
7: Don't go into Red Alert everytime there is a minor mishap. This causes a lot of stress amongst crew members. Remember, we only have one Counselor per starship.
8: The Captain will not use his own odd sentances to utter commands. "Go ahead" or "Go on course." is acceptable. "Make It So." is not.
9: When an alien diplomat visits the ship, make sure you know as much as you can about the race. Customs and greetings can vary. The slightest twitch or wrong phrase could cause an interplanetary war.
10: Bridge staff shall maintain a decorum at all hours. Drinking songs are not permitted. Especially while on duty.
There was a few choice remarks during the reading of this., mostly from Worf.
Now where is the Enterprise Shredder Room?