Section 31 Meeting (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Luther Sloan

All those atteneding the Section 31 meeting have resumed their seats after having a drink and a sticky bun. The paper I pick up gets stuck to my hand. I knew I should have washed it!

We are all discussing possible problem people on the USS Enterprise that Section 31 may have to deal with. So far the names of Captain Picard, Seven of Nine and Guinan have come up. Now we are going to look at others.

"Who else is there" I ask.

"I am concerned about the two women Lieutenant Britney and T'Pol." Agent X tells us.

I can't show you a picture of her face as she is so top level in Starfleet, but this is her.



She carries a concealed phaser set at 'kill' in the top of her stocking.

"Why is that so?" I ask.

"Their lifestyle is very obnoxious." Agent X enlightens us, "Not only do they have no discipline, are consistantly in trouble, but they live together, and are said to be in love with each other."

"Disgraceful." comments Agent W.

"Is it?" asks Agent J.

"I don't think so." Agent K comments.



The two look at each other and redden as if they have given away a secret they share.

"Never mind them." I say, "Are there any other crew members?"

"What about the robot?" Agent S asks, "I figure that if he were reprogrammed by enemy aliens, he would give away all the secrets of the Federation."

"That is a concern." I agree, "But I don't see it happening. Few people know where his 'off' switch, let alone how to reprogram him."

When there are no more issues, I look back on our notes regarding the meeting.

"It seem to me that the Borg are our biggest problem." I conclude, "For too long, Picard has had a truce with them through this evil Borg Queen. She can strike and destroy at any time. We need to wipe them out. We need to restart the war and eliminate them quickly."

A 'hear,hear' is heard throughout the room.

"This meeting is now over." I declare, "Coffee and sticky buns are available outside."

Section 31 Meeting (Part One)

Guest Poster: Luther Sloan

A meeting between key members of Section 31 is never easy to set up. Just how do you alert those in a Secret Group within Starfleet that they should attend? After all, we can hardly send it on printed notepaper with 'Section 31' emblazoned on the top.

No, it has to be whispered through word of mouth for the attendees to get there. Woe betide if any of them has hearing difficulties. Then they don't turn up and apologies are mentioned in the minutes.

Yes, we actually have someone take the minutes. After he does, he has to eat the paper with the words on, then then we kill him just to make sure. It's not a position that is particularly sought after.

"We are gathered here today." I begin to the group around the table, "To discuss the weak links of the USS Enterprise. It has come to our attention, particularly when our agents J and K infiltrated. The noticed a number of people whose actions could be seen to be qustionable. J?"

Agent J stands up to speak, while I have a drink and a sticky bun.



"Firstly," begins Agent J, "Captain Jean-Luc Picard is the most questionable of all. He gets assimilated a few years ago, is supposedly cured a few days later, yet establishes an intriuging realationship with Earth's mortal enemy the Borg Queen, and allows a drone called Seven of Nine to stay on the ship."

"He claims it's to preserve a truce." comments an Agent, sarcastically.

"Precisely." answers J, "Are we supposed to believe this, or just let a Starship Captain go into collusion with the Borg?"

Disapproving murmurs come from all around the table.

"I agree, Agent J" I tell her, "It is a most serious turn of events. Agent K, do you want to list another incident?"



The brunette stands up, and starts to read off her list.

"I find great concern with the woman in Ten Forward, named Guinan.." K tells us, "She is an El-Aurian, and many hundreds of years old. It appears that she has the ear of Captain Picard and advises him on a lot of crucial matters."



Agent K holds up her picture and a lot of glum sounds are made.

"She could well be an enemy of the Federation planted in to influence Picard to make bad decisions...if he is already doing that deliberately as an agent of the Borg!"

Cheers go up at this comment.

"Agent J and I have found others we are not happy about." K tells me."

"Very well." I say, "We'll have a recess for now to have coffee and a sticky bun, then we'll hear more from you two."

To be continued......

Picard Replaced (Part One)

Guest Poster: Luther Sloan

I've got a lovely warm glow.

It's not just because Agent's J and K have appeared in my office, but it's due to the fact of the latest Section 31 reports that I've read.

Happy reading it is!



"Greetings, Director Sloan." they say in unison.

"Hello, Agents." I reply, "I'm glad you have been reeleased from prison."

"How did that happen?" asked J, her blonde hair perfectly cut as usual. Sorry. I'm distracted.

"The reason." I say to them, "Is that the influence of Section 31 is spreading more throughout Starfleet. We have been able to place cetain Agents in key areas, enough to influence key decisions.



"So the Judge we saw this morning..." surmises K, her long dark hair, sweeping over her shoulders.

Sorry. no more distractions.

"No, he wasn't from Section 31." I answer, but our Blackmail Agent threatened to expose his liaison with the 18 year old female Court Clerk to his wife if he did not let you go."

"Cool!" she says with a smile, "What's next?"

"I've had some good reports, Agents." I tell them, "For the first time, a Section 31 operative has been given an Admiral's position. Not only that, we have another agent that is currently a Commander, whom the Admiral could promote to a Captain."

"And that means...?" J asks hopefully.

"It means that Picard can get replaced." I say with delight, "Then, with a Section 31 Agent as Captain of the flagship Enterprise, we shall be in an excellent postion."

"I want Jennifer Baxter and Ro Laren replaced!" K declares sharply, "They foiled our infiltration."

"As did those oddballs Britney and T'Pol." J adds immediately.

"As for that Seven character..." K starts.

"Don't worry, Agents." I say with a smile, "The new Captain will be briefed on what to do by me."

I lean back in my chair quite satisfied, like a cat that has the cream.

Things on the Enterprise are going to be very interesting!

To be continued...

Enterprise Infiltration By Section 31 (Part One)

Guest Poster: Luther Sloan

I've got to remember not to act like a gibbering wreck. After all, I am the director of Section 31, the secret unit that operates within Starfleet. We make our own rules and answer to no one.

I still know a gorgeous girl or two when I see them.

Agent J and K are about to come into my office and I'll be giving them a top secret assignment. It's hard to talk properly to them as they are the most beautiful women in the galaxy.

----------

A knock on the door. I straighten my hair, look in the mirror and see if I look presentable.

Why am I doing this? I'm the one in charge!

Agent J and K drift in and sit down, their hypnotic eyes are focused on my, making it difficult to concentrate. This is just what happened when I was giving that speech a while ago, but made a mess of it because of them.

"Agent J and Agent K." I start, "Errr...congratulations. Both of you are now fully qualified Section 31 Operatives. You both scored high marks in multiple choice, eavesdropping and explosions."



"Why, thank you, Director." Agent J purrs softly, "It means so much to hear you say that."

I get dazed and after look at my notes, as I've forgotten what to do.

"Err....ummm thank you J" I say and turn to face them both, who seem to look at me intensely.

"Now I have an assignment for you." I tell them, "You are both to go on the USS Enterprise and report on activities that are going on there."



"How exciting!" trills K with joy, "You are wonderful in giving us such an important assignment, Luther."

"You must call me Director Sloan or sir." I playfully correct her.

"Of course...sir." she giggles.

"Now you will be going as Ensigns" I tell them, "Agent J, you will be Jayne Jackson, and K, you will be Kay Kassandra, newly arrived from the Academy. All the records have been falsified by our operative there."

"You're wonderful to think of all this!" J gushes at me, "We're so lucky to work for you."

I lose my concentration again and get disoriented.

"Err..yes, now where was I?" I start, "Ah yes, you'll observe all what is going on at the Enterprise and report back to me. Section 31 thinks that Captain Picard does not run the ship properly. If that is so, we will try and get him replaced by a Section 31 operative."

The two lovelies excitely walk off, to prepare for the transfer to the Enterprise.

That starship had better watch itself!

To be continued...

Section 31 Annual Conference (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Agent Luthor Sloan

Now it's timeo walk out on to the stage at the Section 31 Annual Conference and make my speech to the members as Director of the secret Intelligence force that operates within Starfleet.

I hope I don't get distracted. I few moments earlier, I was introduced to two gorgeous new female recruits named Agent J and Agent K. They have a hypnotic stare that can reduce any man to a quivering jelly.

I approach the lectern and get my speech ready.

Quickly, I look around, hoping that the women are not visible so I can speak without a problem.

Everything seems alright until I notice there are two empty seats in the front row. Sure enough, J and K are walking towards them.

Oh no!!

There's no use. I'll hasve to go through the speech and try not to look at them.

"Members of Section 31." I start, "You have a fine body....I mean you are a fine body of women...and men."

It's started. I look at Agent J.



It's no use; she and Agent K are both staring at me.



K gives me a sly, but slow wink..

I drop my speech on to the floor.

There are a few murmers from the assembled Section 31 members in the audience. Some must be beginning to think if I am the Director or the warm-up comedian.

"Sorry about that." I say, "Now getting back to my speech. Section 31 has a duty in keeping Starfleet on it's toes. Without us, they would be a blonde....I mean bland insipid group. We must continue to implement our members and policies into the highest reaches of Starfleet. There must be no lips....I mean lapse, and all work together."

At this, J and K both blow me a kiss. A fall over the lectern and it all crashes down on the stage.

I limp off, and Agent V goes on to the stage to thank me for an illuminating speech.

"Very good, Director" Agent V says afterward, "Quite memorable."

Was he being sarcastic?

Section 31 Annual Conference (Part One)

Guest Poster: Agent Luthor Sloan

I'm heading for the Section 31 Annual Conference on...well, I can't possibly say, as it is a secret. As the group is an unknown, supposedly non-existant Intelligence unit operating within Starfleet, we can't advertise ourselves too freely.

This didn't work out too well at last year's Conference. Things were so secret, none of the members knew about the occasion, and as a result, no one turned up.

We at Section 31 like to move Starfleet policy to suit ourselves. We answer to no one and place members in high places so that we can manipulate things to our own devices. Spoilsports like Jean-Luc Picard are always trying to upset the applecart.

Anyway I've landed on...woops! Nearly said it then! Just accept it's a quiet, out of the way planet away from normal starship lines.

Agent V walks up to see me.

"Director Sloan." he says, "Glad to see you. It seems that the members have received notice through the proper channels this time. It looks like a full house for your speech."

"Excellent." I say, "I'm not going to talk to myself like last year."

He smiles and motions two young women behind him to step forward.

"Director." he announces, "Allow me to present our two newest recruits to Section 31. This is Agent J"



I nearly fall back when I see her blonde hair and piercing eyes.

"I'm so pleased to meet you, Director Sloan." she purrs seductively, "I've always been an admirer of you methods."

"....and this is Agent K." V informs me.



Agent K has long brunette hair tumbling over her shoulders; she also has stunning eyes that bore right into me.

"Director Sloan." she says softly, "It was because of you I joined Section 31. You do such wonderful work."

My legs begin to wobble. If we could have those two one recruiting posters, people would be joining in droves. It's too bad a secret intelligence force cannot have a recruitment poster.

"Errr....call me Luthor." I say to both of them, "I'm sure you'll make excellent agents and make a fine impression."

I know they did on me!

Agent V tells me that the hall is ready, and the agents are waiting for me to address them.

I hope that Agents J or K are not near the front otherwise I might get distracted....yes I WOULD get distracted!

I get my speech ready and enter the hall..

To be continued.....

Picard Loses His Memory (Part Two)

That archaelogical dig that I went on during my visit to Darius VI resulted in me having a nasty accident.

I fell off a crumbling cliff face and hit my head. The result was that for a few moments I lost my memory. Fortunately, Agent Luther Sloan was on hand to tell me that although I am Captain Picard of the Enterprise, I am actiually a top member of Section 31, the ultra-secret society that operates within Starfleet.

How lucky he was there to help me. I remember now, although there are a few patchy things.

------

"You had a nasty fall, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me, as she treats my scratches in the Enterprise SickBay, "Your head has had a nasty bump. Let me take a look through the medi-viewer."



"No!" I say firmly, "I'm fine Bev, I really am.". I remember that Sloan told me not to mention anything about losing my memory to the crew, or let them look at my head, otherwise they may not have confidence.

"Very well, Jean-Luc." Bev replies, "I hope you're all right. Are we still on to see the movie e Batperson Versus The Space Penguin?"

"Sure, Bev." I reply, "I'll be there."

I go up to the Breiefing Room where Riker is in charge of a meeting.

"We've just had a top-secret message from Starfleet Headquarters, which I had to take while you were in SickBay."

This could be interesting. Maybe a message to take to Section 31?

"What was it?"

"There is a high-level meeting in Starfleet. They are trying to drive out all infiltrators that belong to Section 31. After years of denying it exists, they are trying to do something about it."



"That's great!" pipes up Geordi, "It's about time something was done about them. What are they gonna do?"

"An Admiral Rickman has been appointed to lead a Task Force to remove all Section 31 people." Riker continues, "It looks like it will be a serious move."

Everybody in the room cheers. I maintain a calm face.

What a disaster. I've got to get this news to Sloan. I might get a few brownie points in Section 31 for reporting this!

-----------

After leaving the meeting, I head to my Console and call Sloan on my Private Channel and tell him all the plans.

"You have done well, Agent Picard." Sloan tells me, "Without your advance knowledge, we would have been unable to act immediately and stop Starfleet from destroying us."

"Thank you, sir." I reply, "The crew here are very anti- Section 31."

"Indeed they are." Sloan answers, "We will eventually get them replaced. In the meantime you are promoted to Section 31 Field Agent Class 1"

I feel elated at this promotion. Pretty soon, I'll be running it!

Still, that said, I can't help feeling that something is wrong.

To be continued...

Picard Loses His Memory (Part One)

At last, I've managed to get on an archaelogical dig!

There's nothing so good as being able to be around some old fossils, unless, of course, it's seeing a Conference of the senior Admirals of Starfleet!

Anyway, I'm here on Darius VI, where the remains of an ancient civilisation have been discovered. As a special favour, the government has allowed me exclusive access for two days, so no one else can bother me while I'm here.



It's a very rocky area area, somewhat dangerous to be around. This clifftop looks a little precarious.

I think there is a fossil just near the edge.......AGGGGGGGHHHHH!

I tumble over the edge and plummet over the side, hitting my head as I fall. Aren't there times when you were told not to go near a cliff top?

When I hit the very rocky ground and black out.

Eventually, after what seems like an age I wake up. Phew! I have a splitting headache. I'll have to get back to...errrr.. I'm not sure.

Well I'll need to. After all, I am..errrr...I can't remember.

Any ideas? I'd like to know who I am.

A figure approaches me. Perhaps he can help me?



"Hello." I say, "I've had an accident, and seem to have lost my memory. Do you know who I am?"

The man smiles, as if it is his lucky day.

"Certainly." he replies, "You are Agent Picard of the secret Starfleet society Section 31. Your cover is that you are posing as Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise. In truth, you pass all secrets about the ship and it's crewmembers to Section 31. I am the leader, Agent Luther Sloan. You always report to me."

Now it's all coming back to me. Yes, I'm Captain Picard of the Enterprise. I must admit my memory is a little patchy, though.

Hopefully, it will all clear up after a while.

Meanwhile, I'd better get back to the Enterprise and carry on spying for Agent Sloan.

To be continued...

Section 31 Career Interviews (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Sloan

Having come aboard the Enterprise to ask a few individuals if they would consider joining my group Section 31 hasn't been an easy task.

Naturally, I've come up against the predictable response from Captain Picard. His defensive blustering has always been a hazard, and a thorn in the side of Section 31. We always seem to come up against him in our honest subversive activities. It's all perfectly legal, as long as no one finds out about it.

I should have guessed that the Borg drone would give me trouble. After all, they are not real members of Starfleet, and it's the Borg who are on our list of people to eliminate.

"Let me see Lietentant Commander T'Pol." I dictate to Picard; he looks amazed.

"She is from the mirror universe of two hundred years ago!" he exclaims, "I don't see why you.."
"Just let me see her, Captain." I say with a sigh.



T'Pol enters, and views me with curiosity.

"Hello, T'Pol." I say, "My name is Sloan. Now I know you haven't been on the Enterprise long. I want you to know that there is another part of Starfleet that might appeal to you more, considering the tough environment that you've come from."

T'Pol leans forward. "Tell me more." she says.

I might have a recruit here. It'll mean a big bonus in my paycheck if I do.

"Well." I continue, "Section 31 is a group within Starfleet that pays little attention to standard rules. We have our own missions in which to destabilise certain alliances and create situations to suit ourselves."

"It sounds promising." T'Pol says, "Do I get to be in charge?"

"Er, not right away, T'Pol." I answer, "But after a while, if you are sneaky enough, you may attain that."

"In the Terran Empire." T'Pol says proudly, "We get promoted by using a dagger on our superiors when their use is over."

She is starting to worry me. I can imagine that dagger coming my way and her taking my place.

"Perhaps you aren't quite who we want in Section 31." I say hastily, "Thanks for coming in."

T'Pol issues a few Vulcan expletives and walks out. Picard laughs.

"Too worrying for you, Sloan?" he says, "Don't you think you can handle her?"

I glare at him. "There's still one more I want to see. Send in Ensign Britney."

Picard laughs again. Britney enters.



I'm glared at with suspicion again. Britney sits down, leans back and puts her Doc Marten booted feet on the table.



"Who are you?" she asks, as Britney takes the chewing up out of her mouth, "You look kinda suspicious."

Picard snorts with laughter.

"I'm Sloan, Britney." I tell her, "And I'm from Section 31. It's a part of Starfleet you can go to carry out skills to your potential. No more staying in the brig. We don't punish our operatives for minor transgressions like they do here on the Enterprise."

"Sounds cool." Britney answers, "When do we start?"

"Right away." I reply, "But what do you mean we?"

"Well, I'm not leaving the Enterprise without my sista!"

"You don't have any relatives on board, do you, Britney?" I ask with a puzzled look.

The Deltan sighs.

"Not my sister." she answers, "I mean my sista! My number one friend, T'Pol."

"I'm sorry, Britney." I tell her, "But she can't come."

"Then I ain't interested!" Britney says sharply, and puts the chewing gum back in, takes her boots off the desk and walks out.

"That was a failure, Sloan." laughs Picard.

"It may well be, Captain." I warn him, "But Section 31 is growing. Sooner or later it will dominate."

And with that, I vanish out of the Ready Room, just like a shadow, leaving Picard to clean up his Earl Grey soaked lap.

---------------

Author's note:
This is the 498th Post. Look out for the 500th Post commencing Sunday night!

Section 31 Career Interviews (Part One)

There's nothing like relaxing with a cup of hot Earl Grey tea, with classical music piping through in my Ready Room. It's so rare I have these opportunities.

Suddenly, I feel a gust of wind.

"Good evening, Captain."

Naturally, I drop my tea. It all goes in my lap, which makes me yell out in agony.

I turn round; it's Sloan.



"I'm sorry if I disturbed you, Captain." he says, "But there are a few matters I need to sort out here on the Enterprise,"

"You're not trying to recruit me again for that shady organisation of yours, Section 31?" I ask, "Because if you are, Sloan, you're wasting your time."

"Section 31 is a very valuable part of Starfleet." he replies, "We may do a few missions that are not quite the way you normally do things. Actually, I am not here to recruit you."

"Then what ARE you here for, Sloan?" I ask, "I don't like you, and I don't like you on my ship."

"Don't be awkward, Captain, but I'm here to interview a certain number of staff whom we think might be eligible for membership of Section 31."

"I won't let you seem them!" I state firmly.

"It's no use you being stubborn, Captain." Sloan says with a smug smile, "I'm here on the orders of 'certain' Admirals within Starfleet who are secretly members of Section 31. You won't be able to countermand an Admiral's orders."

"But..." I start.

"Just let me talk to them, Captain." he informs me, "If they refuse, I'll just leave."

"They won't want to join you" I say confidentally, "No one likes the evil ways your group acts."

"Then you shouldn't have a worry." answers Sloan, "Send Seven Of Nine in."



Seven clanks in, views Sloan suspiciously, and sits down.

"Hello, Seven." Sloan stats, "My name is Sloan, and I represent a Starfleet group called Section 31. We are asking if you would like join us. There are..."

"Section 31" interrupts Seven, "My studies into human behaviour and Starfleet practice indicate that this is a subversive group dedicated to the overthrow of other species and keeping it for humans."

"Well you are interested in the overthrowing of other species." comments Sloan.

"That is true." replies Seven, with rising anger "But it also includes YOUR species. I am here on the assignment of the Borg Queen, and do not wish to work for another human! My best friend Sky and I both believe all humans should be removed!"

With that, she gets up and storms off, leaving Sloan flustered.

"I told you no one would join you." I say to Sloan with a smile.

"Don't be too sure yet, Captain." he replies, "There are some others on my list I want to see."

To be continued...

---------------

Author's note:

M C Pearson has cruelly given me this meme to highlight where I was 10, 20 and 30 years ago. This is going to be a dull one, Mimi!

Now, this year, I have been on a cruise to Iceland, Norway, the Netherlands and Belgium. My father and I had just had our bathroom completely done.

1997: Not a good year, as my mother had been very ill for some time. Naturally, we did not go anywhere. The company I work for had a reorganisation and I had been in the Dudley office for two years.

1987: Working in the local office of my company. In two years time we were to transfer to the centre of the city for six years.

1977: Silver Jubilee year in Britain. There were many street parties. In the local office, where I had not been long, everyone wore union jack hats outside, and lots of fun was had outside. A happy year.

Deanna & Riker Take Over (Part One)

Everything is running smoothly on the Enterprise right now, which is a sure sign that something nasty is about to happen.

"Incoming transmission, Captain." states Data.

"Who from?"

"I am unaware." he replies, "The signal from from a source that is encrypted. Shall we put it on the viewer?"

"Yes, Mr Data." I tell him, "What harm can it do?"

Sometimes I ought to remember these lines I write and never say them again. There is never an instance when 'what harm can it do?' applies.

A familiar figure appears.



Luther Sloan, leader of the subversive part of Starfleet named Section 31.

"Hello Captain Picard." he says, "It is good to see you again. I am especially pleased to see Commander Riker and Counselor Deanna Troi sitting with you."

I remember the two of them meeting him when they went undercover last December . Unfortunately Sloan escaped. I knew he'd turn up again, like a bad Credit.

"I'd like to read you a little poetry, If I may, Captain." Sloan continues, "I'm sure you won't mind."

All of the Bridge crew look puzzled. What is this? Poetry night? The only time we usually have poetry on the Enterprise is when Data has to read one of his awful compositions, like 'Ode To Spot.' which drags on for 132 stanzas.

"I hope it's not 'Ode To Spot'" whispers Riker to me. Beverly says the same thing in my other ear.

Sloan begins reading.....

Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.

Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say
What was this forest savage, rough, and stern,
Which in the very thought renews the fear

I recognise it as the opening six lines of Dante's Divine Comedy, from the Longfellow Translation. What is going on here? He's not going to read the whole of Dante is he?

"I'll see you soon, Commander." says Sloan, and his image disappears from the screen.

I turn to Riker.

"What is Sloan doing, Number One?" I ask.

Suddenly I notice that his chair is empty; for a second I think he has gone to get some donuts for himself from Ten Forward. Then I turn to my left; Deanna has vanished as well.

Two seconds later, I notice that Data has been switched off by Deanna, and behind me Riker has stunned other members of the Bridge. I'm the only one still up.

"What are you doing, Number One?" I ask.

"Taking over the ship, Picard." Riker replies insolently, "Deanna and I are running things from now on. We are taking the Enterprise to a meeting point where members of our Section 31 group can use it from now on. Other members of this crew have been locked in ther quarters. We shall order the others to do so that are currently in the corridors."

It all becomes clear. Riker said when he got back from the undercover mission that he and Deanna were subjected to some flashing lights in December that Sloan called Truth Lights. I think it must have embedded a sleeper in their minds that would change them when the verse was uttered.

I wish Sloan had recited 'Ode To Spot' instead.

"Come on, Picard." Deanna tells me, "You can be imprisoned in the SickBay. I guess you'll like that; At least you'll be with Beverly while we start running things from now on."

Why is it I can't exactly thank them for that right now?

To be continued...

Infiltrating Section 31 (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Will Riker

Trying to infiltrate Section 31, the subversive secret group that operates within Starfleet has not been easy for Deanna and myself. We've been picked up in the dark alleyway by Sloan and his creepy assistant X2. With us are two people who want to be operatives. A Ferengi named Qwerty and a Cardassian named Gul Buket.

------------------

We are all in a briefing room right now; Sloan enters and smiles at us.

"What about all those things we've been promised, Mr Sloan?" demands Qwerty, "The pension plan, medical aid, video surveillance camera, listening device...."

"....As well as disrupter phasers and gilded knife." continues Gul Buket.

"Where is the cloaked mothership?" asks Deanna, making sure she is counted.

"...and the black hat and cloak?" I add on rather limply at the end.

"All in good time, my friends" answers Sloan, "We need to put you through a few little tests first."

Deanna and I look at each other alarmingly, then put our blank faces on.

He leaves the room and it is suddenly bathed in an array of lights, like the local disco. The only difference is I can't hear a DJ saying, "Here is the latest groovy sound from...."

We all wake up a little later; Sloan and X2 are looking at us two. Qwerty and Buket are missing.

"This has been most interesting." declares Sloan.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, "Where are Qwerty and Gul Buket?"

"Oh, they've gone up to the cloaked mothership." he answers, "They will be coached in how to be top Section 31 agents. It's a privilege we can't allow two infiltrators to enjoy."

"How did you know we were infiltrators?" asks Deanna.

I'll have to coach Deanna into not giving those answers in the future...if we have a future.

"Thank you for confirming that, Miss Troi." Sloan tells her, "We were actually able to find out through the Truth Lights we installed. It has a lot of useful features."

As he and X2 are in mid-gloat, Starfleet Security officers beam in with Worf and apprehend the two of them.

"What happened?" I ask Deanna.

"Before we left the Enterprise," she replies, "Worf suggested that I wear this tracker watch and activate if things get difficult."

"Well we've managed to get two top names of Section 31." I declare triumphantly, "Let's take them up to the Enterprise."

"Where are they, Will?" asks Deanna.

"They just vanished into thin air." a Security officer says dispairingly.

"They must wear the same tracker watches as the one I gave you, Counselor" Worf growls angrily, "The shop I got it from must be a Section 31 front."

"What was it called, Worf?" I ask.

"Errr...it was called 'The Spy Shop', sir."

----------------------------

We all get ready to beam to the Enterprise; none of us are very happy.

"Section 31 is a big organisation." says Deanna.

"I agree; and that Sloan is a slippery character." I reply, "Let's get back and enjoy the next few days, though."

"He shall not get away again." declares Worf, with a mood that someone has given him the wrong Christmas present.

Infiltrating Section 31 (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Sloan

Getting the Christmas tree all ready takes some time. I've also got my children their presents. Naturally, they both get a copy of the latest edition of 'The Bumper Book Of Spying'. I've also bought myself a copy as well.

Agent X2 enters the room.

"It's time to go to the alley to see if we have any new recruits, sir."

I sigh.

"Do you think there are going to be any there tonight, X2?" I ask him, "After all, people are going out shopping, not joining subversive organisations like ours at this time of year."

"You may be right, sir." X2 replies, with a hint of sarcasm, "But it never hurts to look does, it?"

X2 is getting far too uppity; I may have him relocated to our Andoran branch.

----------------------------

A few hours later, we are in the alleyway behind Starfleet Headquarters. Santini's Pizza Parlour is next door. I find four characters all dressed in dark outfits; a man with a beard, a young dark haired woman, a Ferengi and a Cardassian.

"Greetings." I say to them, "You may call me Sloan; with me is Agent X2. Come with me please."

----------------------

Shortly, we are in a faceless building nearby.

"Would you care to introduce yourselves to me?" I ask them, "And state your reasons for wanting to join my group."

"I am Qwerty" states the Ferengi, "How many Credits can I make from being with you?"

"You can make lots of Credits if you are a good agent, Qwerty." I reply, "Next...?"

"I am Gul Buket." declares the Cardassian angrily, "I want Starfleet to be run by Section 31, not be the elected officials."

"An excellent reason." I tell him, "That is what Section 31 is all about. Next....?"

"I'm Commander William Riker of the Starship Enterprise" says the man, "I want the opportunity to spy on my boss and eventually be the Captain."

"Very good, Commander Riker, you would be an excellent addition to Section 31. Lastly...?"

The woman stands up.



"I'm err... Counselor Deanna Troi of the Starship Enterprise" she says hesitatingly, "And I'm with Commander Riker; I errr... go where he goes, and believe what he does."

The four of them go into the briefing room; Agent X2 asks me to wait.

"This is a great day for Section 31." X2 tells me with a pleased expression, "We have two highly placed Starfleet staff joining us! They are just in time to take part in the Section 31 Christmas Dinner & Dance."

"That's true, X2" I reply, "But we want to be sure that there are no infiltrators amongst them."

To be continued...

Infiltrating Section 31 (Part One)

I've just had a message to use the Emergency Starfleet Channel. It's for my eyes only, so it must be important.

I wonder if it's about the over-raucous behaviour at our Christmas Party?

Still, I switch on, and Admiral Johnson is there; he is in charge of Starfleet Security.

"We've got a problem, Captain Picard." he says, "We've found this Recruitment Message from Section 31, and find it very disturbing."

"One of them approached me a while back, Sir." I reply, "We don't know where their operatives are within Starfleet."

"Exactly right, Captain." Johnson tells me, "We need a member of your crew to infiltrate them and find out more; you wouldn't be good, as you have turned them down, and they would be suspicious."

That's a relief! I'm not going on this mission. I can stay behind and write more Christmas cards to those I forgot to send.

"How about Commander Riker?" Johnson suggests, "As he has been second in command on the Enterprise. for some time, they might think he has a resentment towards being in that position."
Sometimes, I think he has.

"That's a good choice, sir; I'll inform Riker and we'll send him."

Johnson switches off, and I summon Riker into my Ready Room.

------------------

After explaining the situation to Riker, he looks concerned.

"Sir, Deanna and I are scheduled to visit Betazed and say hello to her mother just before Christmas."

"Would you rather go on a dangerous mission, Number One" I ask him, "Or spend a couple of days with Lwaxana Troi?"

Riker soon answers.

"You're right sir; when is the next pickup of recruits for Section 31?"

----------------------

"I want to go with Will!" Deanna protests, "If we can't go to Betazed, then I want to go with him on this mission!"

"It's too dangerous, Counselor." I reply, although I know I'll probably end up backing down.

"They know that Will and I are a couple." she continues, "If he goes without me, it will look suspicious."

She has a point; no wonder she is a counselor.

"What do you think, Number One?" I ask.

"It is too dangerous, Captain." Riker says, "Deanna is only a woman."

That was a foolish statement.

Deanna swiftlly grabs Riker's arm, twists him round, kicks his leg, and in an instant, he is pushed on the floor.

"I have been taking Worf's self-defence classes." she declares, "I can look after myself."

Riker struggles to get up, but manages.

"It seems like Counselor Troi is right." I decide, "Very well, you may both go on this mission."

"Where do we go?" asks Deanna.

"You will both have to wear a dark outfit." I reply, "And wait in the alley at the rear of Starfleet Headquarters. Santini's Pizza Parlour is next door."

---------------------------------

A ferw hours later, both Deanna and Riker are ready to beam down. The Counselor has a long black party dress on, together with a dark coat. Riker is all dressed in black as well, as if he is about to burgle a house.

"Good luck, the both of you." I tell them, before they beam down.

To be continued...

Section 31 Recruitment Message

Hello; my name is Sloan, and I'd like you to consider joining a little group I'm in. It's called Section 31.

Now I know what you're thinking; you've never heard of them, and secondly, no, they are not the latest pop group on the musical scene.

We try to keep ourselves rather secret; though we are part of Starfleet, they don't know we exist. That might sound a little confusing, but that's the fun of it all. We are a covert organisation. Any Starfleet activity that is slightly outside the realms of accepted, will usually be done by a member of Section 31.

Tempting, isn't it?

What we are looking for are people who will report to us about their colleagues' behaviour, do anything to get ahead and are prepared to upset harmonious relationships between planets.

If you think this is you, read all of this message.

If, however, you are appalled, and think you want nothing to do with this group, then kindly return the message with 'No' in the subject line, together with your name and address, and a representative will visit to sort you out. What I mean is that you won't have any worries about pensions afterwards.

So you're interested in joining Section 31? Let me spell out the advantages of what you get:

* Your very own state of the art listening device.
* The latest video surveillance camera with a range of one light year.
* Access to our cloaked mothership.
* High powered disruptor phaser; much more powerful than the usual weak Starfleet issue.
* Beautiful gilded knife in our own customised style; ideal for backstabbing.
* Your very own black cloak and hat.
* Generous pension plan and medical aid.

Now I've got to emphasise that we are a secret organisation. You can't go telling your friends and family that you have joined us. We are very sensitive about that. Anyone who does that has their contract with us terminated, together with their life, which makes it difficult to get a job elsewhere.

If you are lucky to join us, we suggest you tell your spouse that you have become a milkman or a librarian. This is a good answer. Saying you are an agent for a top secret organisation that does shady practices is not.

Now you want to know how to join?

Simply turn up in a dark outfit and wait in the alley that is to the rear of Starfleet Headquarters and midnight this Thursday. Santini's Pizza Parlour is next door. Wait there, and a representative will collect you. If anyone asks why you are there, tell them you are waiting for Santini to finish his shift.

Thank you, and welcome to Section 31.

Sloan And Section 31

Can't anyone get a good night's sleep around here?

Recently it was Q who appeared from the middle of nowhere to disturb me as I was catching some zzz's. Now it's another character.

"Good evening, Captain" says this mysterious figure, "Sorry to wake you up in the middle of the night, but this is rather important."

"Who are you?" I reply indignantly, "The security monitors will note that you have beamed on, and Mr Worf will soon put paid to you."

"Oh, I don't think so, Captain." he continued, "We in our group are equipped with special devices that allow us to circumvent that sort of thing."

"So just who are you, then? I ask.

"Ah, allow me to introduce myself" he says, "I am Special Agent Sloan from Section 31."



"I've never heard of Section 31" I tell him.

"Of course you haven't." Sloan replies, "We are an ultra-secret covert organisation that operate on behalf of Starfleet, although technically we don't exist."

"I've never read about Section 31 before, Sloan" I say.

"That's the point, Captain" he says, as if explaining to a child, "Our existence is only known to a handful of people. Not even the Head of Starfleet knows of us."

"So why are we talking now, and telling me about Section 31 now?" I ask suspiciously, as if I think I know what the answer might be.

"The truth is,Captain" he answers, "Is that you've impressed us recently with your covert activities. The mission you went on with Doctor Crusher and Seven Of Nine was very good, and we at Section 31 think you would make a fine addition to our number."

"I'm a starship Captain, not a spy!" I tell him.

"Oh, now, Captain." Sloan replies, "The word 'spy' is far too crude. We prefer the term 'Section Operative' to what you say."

"Well, I don't want to be a Section Operative, either." I clearly say.

"Think about it, Captain." he presses, "You could still have your own position and be a Section Operative at the same time. It means you would be covertly working for us, and none of your crew would be any the wiser. Actually, you could start by investigating your own staff."

"What does that mean?" I reply angrily.

"We have had our eyes on them for sometime" he tells me, "One can never tell when outside forces might have got to them."

"Give me an example." I challenge him.

"Look at Worf." he goes on, "He's a Klingon; we've always had trouble with that race. Data might have had his programming altered by a computer expert, or he might actually be his brother Lore. Geordi La Forge's visor might have affected his judgement. Deanna Troi's mind might have been altered by a telepath. Seven is only restrained from assimilating us on instructions from the Borg Queen. Jadzia Dax may have been affected by some of the Dax hosts..."

"...And I suppose Beverly Crusher is suspicious because of her red hair?" I sarcastically tell him.

"Now you're getting the idea." Sloan continues, "Believe me, Captain, you'll be perfect at Section 31. We need devious people who will stab their friends in the back, both literally and physically."

"You're crazy" I reply.

"We can send you on a Section 31 Induction Course." he enthusiastically says, "It'll be great fun."

"I think it's time for you to go, Sloan." I angrily tell him.

"All right, Captain." he smiles, "Potential recruits always have the same initial hostility, but after a while, they can't wait to join. I'll be talking to you again sometime in the future."

I turn round to tell him to forget it, but Sloan has disappeared.

I ask Worf if any beam-ins have been registered and he says negative.

It seems to me that Section 31 might be a problem for me; as if I don't have enough already.