Sunday, May 31, 2009

The New Television (Part One)

Today is going to be a great day!

I've ordered a new hyper-standard television from the suppliers. It should be delivered to the Enterprise in a couple of hours. From what I've heard, it's a top of the range model that shows holographic pictures from all the planets.

Deanna rushes in.

"Has it come yet, Captain?" she asks.

"Has WHAT come yet, Deanna?" I reply.

"Why, the television of course." she answers, as if the couldn't be anything else. "I want to see it working."

Bev and Riker run in.

"Has it come yet?" they ask.

"No." I tell them.

"Well we don't want to miss the first programme in holographic vision." Bev tells me, "As The Universe Turns is my favourite show."

All the other senior staff who filter in say this.

"Honestly." I tell them, "I don't know what the fuss is over a daytime soap opera."

"Captain." explains Data, "What is important is that Brad is engaged to marry Stephanie, but is secretly in love with Angela. Meanwhile next door, Jeff is losing money in his hovercar business and plans to fake his death. He does not realise that his wife Joanne has killed his rival, which will..."

"Enough!" I tell them, "Let's just get the television. Remember it is mine!"


A few minutes later, to rousing cheers, the television arrives. Two engineers start to tax it out of the box, as the entire senior staff look on in eager anticipation.

The expectation turns rather glum as the top of the range holographic television is unveiled.

"This isn't quite what I was expecting." I tell them.

"What is it?" Jadzia asks.

To be continued...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

TWQ: Vacation Purchases

As this time of year is a peak time for vacations, TWQ (The Weekend Question) is asking about things you may have bought while away.

Which items have you purchased away on vacation did you later regret buying? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Large Italian chess set...never used

* Two paintings on a cruise...never hung

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Q's Romance (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Q

My girlfriend Q and I are heading for a meeting with the leader of the Continuum after being summoned there by one of the flunkeys.

"What do you think he wants, Q?" my girl asks me, "If you ask me, we ought to be worried."

"Don't worry, sweetie." I reply, "He probably just wants my advice on something. After all, I've never seen the Head Q with a female. Perhaps he wants to know my technique.

She laughs. "Oh, Q. you're incorrigable!"


We enter the Great Hall and approach our Leader.

"Q and Q." he bellows, "You may both come forward."

We walk towards him. He's got a fearsome front, hasn't he? It kind of reminds me of Dorothy approaching the Wizard of Oz.

"I have heard rumblings of your behaviour." the Head Q continues, "You are carrying out disruptive behaviour together."

"Err...yes sir." I say quietly, "But we do say sorry afterwards."

"Indeed?" our leader comments, "Am I also led to believe that you two Qs are in love?"

My girl steps forward.

"That is right, Great Leader." she confirms.

"This is most unusual." he booms, "The Q Continuum is eternal. It does not allow for romance between it's members."

"It can always happen." I say, looking at my sweetie, who approaches and holds my hand, then kisses me,"

"I did not bring a sick bag." the Head Q comments, "However I am all for the raising of morale in the Continuum, so you may continue your romance."

"Thank you!" we both shout, and leave when we are directed out.


"That's wonderful, sweetie." I say to her, "Our romance has been blessed by the Head Q."

"Delightful, my darling Q-sy woozie." she replies, "Let's go to Voyager and make it travel the wrong way again."


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Q's Romance (Part One)

Guest Poster: Q

Times have been very interesting recently, since I started my romance with the female Q.

Not that we in the Continuum can measure time, of course. It's just a figure of speech. But all in all, it has been a good time.

Naturally, that doesn't mean I haven't been terrorising people in the universe. Of course I have, but my love has joined me in doing it, and seems to have that wicked sense of humour that I do. Poor Jean-Luc and his merry minions were left dazed when she swapped the warp engine and put that of a 1950's Chevrolet there instead. Kathrn didn't know what to do when Q rearranged all the sensor calibrations. Voyager didn't know if it was coming or going!

"Darling!" says a charming voice behind me.

"Q!" I exclaim, "How are you, my sweety weety?"

"All the better for seeing you, Q-sy woozy!" she replies in a playful way, "Whose life shall we make a misery now?"

"Well, I don't know." I say in a slight twinkle., "How about if...

"Q and Q" a voice says behind me.

I look, and can see it's the Q who is our Leader's head flunkey. He has adopted the appearance of a Vulcan as he thinks it makes him look more officious.


"Listen you two." he sneers, "The Head Q wants to see you right away. He's not happy, I can tell you that."

He smirks, as he knows the two of us are in for it. The Head Q's flunkey is disliked more than the police did Internal Affairs or the Feds in the 20th and 21st century.

"Come on, sweetie." I say to my love, "Let's see what the Head Honcho wants."

To be continued...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Getting Things Back In Order

Now that I'm re-established as Captain of the Enterprise after the Section 31 attempt to place their Agent Kate Pulaski in charge, I am trying to sort things out.

"It looks like Pulaski is a terrible organiser." I say to Bev, who is helping me in my quarters. "The whole place looks like a teenager's bedroom, with clothes and items spread all over the floor."

"I know what you mean, Jean-Luc." Bev answers, "I've er, seen many teenage rooms like this."

I think she has reddened because her room might have looked like that at one stage. I can just imagine it at the time...

"Well Pulaski managed to be a starship Captain, with the help of Section 31." I muse, "She never managed to tidy up. Look at this! She's even left her lingerie here!"

Bev picks up the beautiful silk of one and looks admiringly at it. There are several items all around. She gathers them all together.

"Yes." she says with a smile, "I'll err.. see that they all get sent to the penal colony."

I've got a distinct feeling that Pulaski will never see those, and that Bev will be walking around with a satisfied smile!

Worf comes in.

"Greetings, Captain." he starts, "It is good to see you in Command once again, "Captain Pulaski was as irritating as a Klingon Targ."

I laugh at this, "I guess she was. I hear that her nickname was the Wicked Witch?"

"That is true, Captain." he confirms, "Although Commander Data could not understand this as her skin was not green."

"It sounds like his emotion chip wasn't switched on at the time." I say.

"You may be correct." Worf answers, "Excuse me. I must go. Im have heard from Security that Ensign Britney has started a fight in Ten Forward with someone who called her 'Baldy'"

Bev and I both laugh.

It's good to be running things again!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

TWQ: Favourite Words/Phrases

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) looks into those words and phrases we like to say.

What words or phrases do you like to say a lot, or habitually but in a sentence? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* And that's the way it is. I do add this on to a lot of my sentences. I recognise it as the US anchor Walter Cronkite's sign-off phrase.

* Think outside the box. Why I say this, I have no idea, but I do!

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Nine)

Editor's Note:

Section 31, the subversive organisation hatched a plot to replace all the senior staff of the Enterprise with their Agents. Admiral Nagamura, who was secretly a member and fired Picard. He installed another member, Kate Pulaski, who promptly fired many of them. The remaining ones have been in the brig. however, the plot has been foiled, and Picard has requested not to reveal this fact for the moment.

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

I'm still in the brig, along with Worfie, Data, Geordi, Will Riker and Deanna.

While Worfie is carving the number of days we have been here on the wall, some of us contemplate what we will do when back on Earth.

"Perhaps Captain Picard and Doctor Crusher would welcome some help at the fast food restaurant where they work?" suggests Data.

"I can't see you tossing burgers, Data." Geordi laughs, "Altough you wouldn't get burnt while doing it."

"I shall seek a career in law enforcement." Worfie declares, "Miscreants shall feel the weight of my authority."

"You sound more like a traffic warden, Worf." Riker tells him, "I think I'll start a jazz band."

"I'll be a top dollar psychiatrist." Deanna tells us, "As an empath, I'll make a lot of money."

I roll my eyes.

"Instead of furthering your careers." I tell them, "Have you figured out how to get us out of this?"

We then hear the sound of someone approaching. I recognise the stiletto. It's the Wicked Witch.

"I'll be well rid of you all." Pulaski says, "Once you've gone, the Enterprise can start operating properly. I'll have the holographic Doctor reprogrammed and Vic Fontaine deleted. Instead of being peaceful to everybody, we can threaten a few who don't like us. The security shuttle is here to take you away. Good riddance."

Some Section 31 minions take us to the Shuttle Bay, escorted by Pulaski. We wait to be taken away.

The door opens, and out steps Capain Picard, beverly Crusher and fall the others that had been fired. Also with them are the heftiest security people I've ever seen.

"All right, ex-Captain Pulaski." Picard says firmly, "It's all over. Nagamura has been arrested, and you are now. I'm running the ship now, with the say-so of the Starfleet President."

Pulaski and her henchmen are dragged off to the shuttle. Bev sticks her tongue out at her, and Pulaski gives her a venemous look.

We all hug each other, glad that it's over at last.

"Take the Bridge, Number One." says Picard, "Doctor Crusher and I have got an appointment with some Earl Grey in my Ready Room."

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Eight)

Editor's Note:

Captain Picard has been fired by the corrupt Admiral Nagamura, who is a Section 31 Agent. Many other senior staff have been ejected by the new Captain, Kate Pulaski, also an agent. Picard has sent Britney, T'Pol, Jennifer Baxter and Karena to break in to Starfleet Headquarters and get the Admiral so that he can be exposed. Things haven't gone to plan...

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I wished we had known Admiral Nagamura was a kung fu expert!

In one brief flick, he kicked the multi-phase disruptor out of my hands and caught it. As a result, Nagamura is wearing a sly smile, and pointing the gun at us.

"I suppose Picard sent you to do the dirty work for him." he cackles, like a mad professor, "He does not understand the strength of Section 31. We are everywhere. Kate Pulaski will make the Enterprise the front runner for our organisation, doing all sorts of shady things throughout the galaxy. Destabilising governments, disposing of undesirables..."

"You're the biggest undesirable." T'Pol comments sarcastically.

"That may be so." Nagamura sneers like a ham actor in a bad play, "But in a few moments, you four will be dust."

"Let's see what my umbrella says." Britney says as she lashes out. Before Nagamura can use the disruptor, her weapon lashes into the Admiral and sends him flying into the air. I grab my gun. T'Pol and Karena pin him down.

"Good move, sweetie!" T'Pol says to Britney, "That packs a tidy punch."

"Thanks sistah." Brit replies, "Let's get him to McGalaxy's so that he can confess."

Nagamura laughs hysterically. If he ever wanted to be an actor, I can see why he was turned down.

"What proof do you have?" he sneers, "Starfleet will never believe what you say. Everything I said was not recorded. you will be arrested and sent to a penal colony."

Karena smiles, and presses a button on her spear. A sound comes out of it.

"......He does not understand the strength of Section 31. We are everywhere. Kate Pulaski will make the Enterprise the front runner for our organisation, doing all sorts of shady things throughout the galaxy. Destabilising governments, disposing of undesirables..."

"Modern technology on my home planet is wonderful." she smiles.


Some hours later, we have taken him to Captain Picard, and all of us have gone to the Starfleet President.

"I can see the corruptness, Captain." he says, "Naturally you are all re-instated. We will arrest Kate Pulaski immediately."

"If you don't mind, Mr President." says Picard slyly, "Keep the arrest of Nagamura quiet for the moment. I'd like to have a little fun at Pulaski's expense."

Beverly Crusher looks very happy at hearing this.

To be continued...

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Seven)

Editor's Note:

Now that Captain Picard, Bev, Britney, Seven, Ro Laren, T'Pol and Jennifer, who were fired from Starfleet by Section 31 infiltrators, have found out the plot, and that the rest of the senior staff are awaiting extradition from the Enterprise by Captain Kate Pulaski, the Section 31 Agent, they are planning to break into Starfleet headquarters and kidnap the corrupt Admiral...

Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

It's the dead of night near Starfleet Headquarters. Karena, Jennifer, my soulsistah T'Pol and myself are all prepared to break in.

Funny thing is, T'Pol and I are usually doing this with a nightclub when they won't let us in because we are too rowdy.

Karena shows her Starfleet pass while the three of us watch from the bushes.

"Hey!" says a voice, "Don't put your feet on my plants!"

It's Boothby, the Head Gardener of the Starfleet Academy and Headquarters grounds.

"We're just breaking in, Mr Boothby." Jenny tells him assuredly, "We won't damage anything out here."

"Be sure that you don't you young whippersnappers." Boothby replies, and adds quietly, "Good luck!"

He walks off to water the plants, and we see Karena calling us into the entrance.

When we enter, we see two guards unconsious on the floor.

"What happened here?" T'Pol asks her, "We wanted the minimum of fuss."

"It WAS the minimum." replies, Karena the amazon, "Otherwise they would both be on the end of my spear. I knocked them out from behind before they could see me."

The four of us sneak down the corridors where we know Admiral Nagamura's office is. The light is on.

We all march in together.

"Don't try anything!" Jenny shouts at Nagamura, "We know all about what you really are."

"Indeed?" replies Nagamura with a sly smile, and with kung fu skills leaps at us, kicking Jenny's multi-phase disruptor out of her hand. In a matter of a few seconds, Nagamura has the weapon.

"Now I will eliminate you troublesome women once and for all!"

Saturday, May 16, 2009

200th TWQ: Dinner Guests

To celebrate the 200th TWQ (The Weekend Question....actually this should have been last week!), we ask the same question I asked on the first and 100th TWQ.

Name a group of dinner guests you would invite to a party, alive or dead, fact or fiction and say why. Make them a good mix for a lively group. List as many as you wish, but about five is right.

My answers are:

1: David Niven: a noted raconteur and wit.

2: Oscar Wilde: a playwright with a cutting wit.

3: John Watson: ideal to talk about Sherlock Holmes and his adventures.

4: Virginia Woolf: her books and lifestyle are worth hearing about.

5: Elizabeth Bennett: one of the most recognisable figures in English literature. She would have a lot to tell.

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Six)

Editor's Note.

With Picard, Bev, Seven, Jennifer, T'Pol, Britney and Ro Laren all fired by Section 31 Agent Captain Kate Pulaski, who was promoted by fellow Agent Admiral Nagamura, things are looking bleak. Data, Jadzia, Deanna, Worf and Geordi have discovered the Section 31 plot, but are now in the brig, ready to be taken away. Data did manage to get the information to two other people...


As we all circle the table of the McGalaxy's restaurant after closing time, the seven of us are trying to decide what to do.

"I've no intention of staying as a waitress in McGalaxy's." declares Bev, who eats her burger while telling us this

"I don't want to stay either, Bev." I reply, "We need to decide whether we can do anything about the situation we are in."

A sharp repeated tap on the door and we all look round.

Karena almost batters the door with her spear until T'Pol opens it. She marches in with Wes, who hugs his mother. I roll my eyes.

"Greetings to you all." Karena says, "I have important news from Commander Data."

Karena tells us the whole story about Nagamura and Pulaski being Section 31 Agents and how the senior staff are going to be replaced.

"When I attemped to communicate with them, I was imformed my the Captain that they are in the brig awaiting deportation."

"These Section 31 Agents should be assimilated!" Seven says in disgust.

"I don't think we need to do that." I tell her, "But now things are a lot clearer."

A plot begins to form in my mind in order to get it all sorted out. I tell them that firstly we need to get hold of Nagamura.

"How can we do that?" Ro asks, "He stays in Starfleet Headquarters all the time, and we don't have access anymore."

"There are two people here who do." I say with a smile, looking at Karena. Wes starts to look slightly worried, in case he gets chosen as well.

"Who should go?" Bev asks.

"Karena will gain access" I answer "And with her can go Britney, T'Pol and Jennifer. They are good at undercover work. Your mission is to get Nagamura and bring him here."

"What about me?" asks Wes.

We all have a Double McGalaxyburger with fries before we set off....cooked by Wes.

Breaking into Starfleet Headquarters won't be easy for them.

To be continued after the weekend TWQ.....

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Five)

Editor's Note:

As Luthor Sloan, the Head of Section 31, the sunversive unit that operates within Starfleet has managed to get one of their Agents promoted to Admiral, who fired Captain Picard and Beverly Crusher and placed another Agent, the former Chief Medical Officer Kate Pulaski as Captain. She has now fired Britney, T'Pol, Jennifer Baxter, Seven and Ro Laren. Those have just caught up with Picard and Bev, who are working in a fast food restarant.


Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

"We really have to be careful with these meetings." Will whispers quietly, as we all gather, "We can't afford to get caught in case the Wicked Witch of the West finds us."

"You are referring to Captain Pulaski?" Data enquires.

"Yes, Data I am!" Will sighs irritatingly, "I'm surprised she doesn't fly around the Enterprise on a broomstick."

"Such a measure would be contrary to Starfleet Health and Safety Protocols." Data reminds him.

"Data!" I almost shout, "Switch your emotion chip on. This is an important meeting. With so many of the senior staff fired by Pulaski, we've got to be careful."

With Data, Will and myself are Geordi, Worf, and Jadzia Dax. We are having this quiet meeting in the dead of night while Pulaski is sleeping away. We've got the Doctor and Vic Fontaine on the bridge.

"So, has anybody spotted anything about Pulaski." Jadzia asks, "She seems the very secretive sort."

"I agree." Worf replies, "She seems to spend a lot of time on her monitor, using the Secure Channel."

"Is there some way we can UN-secure it?" Will asks.

"Affirmative." Data reveals, in a very matter-of-fact way, "I have actually managed to decode them using my positronic brain, which I linked to the computer's central core. I then..."

"Never mind that, Data!" Geordi says, "What were the messages about?"

"Most of them were to Admiral Nagamura." he informs us.

The Admiral who gave the Cappy and Bev the push.

"What did they contain!" Will says with growing frustration. So much so that he can hardly eat the last of the donuts he's bought along.

"One notable message said "Our plan is almost complete, Admiral. I will arrest and remove the rest of the senior staff as soon as you send the Agents from Section 31 from Earth to replace them.""

"So that's it!" Riker says to himself, "Nagamura and Pulaski are Section 31 Agents."

"Why didn't you tell us this before, Data." I ask.

"I could not, Counselor." he replies, "I had only just found out the information before this meeting."

"Well now we have it, we can take it to Starfleet." Worf snorts.

"They'll never believe you." laughs a familiar voice, as the door opens. "They'll think it's just the word of a few officers loyal to Picard."


Her Security minions drag us away to the brig, as she reminds us that we'll all be removed from the ship for Conspiracy against the Captain.


We sit in the brig, looking fed up, as if we have been selected for an Away Mission and are all wearing red shirts.

"Well that's done it." Riker says, "The entire Enterprise senior staff will be Section 31 Agents. Who knows what damage that will bring?"

"There may be hope, Commander." Data tells us, as we eat our bread and water, "Before I came to the meeting, I took the libety of passing on the information to Ensign Crusher and his wife Karena on the USS Rhode Island."

We all laugh.

"Well done, Data." I say, "There may be hope for us yet."

To be continued...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Four)

Editor's Note:

Due to the workings of Luthor Sloan, head of the subversive Section 31 that operates within Starfleet, members of their organisation have infiltrated the higher reaches. Admiral Nagamura has replaced and fired Captain Picard and Beverly Crusher, and installed fellow Section 31 operative Captain Kate Pulaski in command. She has promptly fired Jennifer Baxter, Ro Laren, Seven of Nine, Ensign Britney and T'Pol.


"Get a Double McGalaxyburger with fries as fast as you can, Picard." yells Kevin the manager, "Can't you see there are customers waiting?"

I promptly get another packet of burgers out, and start cooking them, as Bev runs around the restaurant, picking up orders.

Frankly, I wonder why Bev and myself agreed to work in the McGalaxy fast food restuarant. The manager, Kevin, is forever ordering us around while he does very little himself. Bev says it's a good idea to stay here in Starfleet Mall while we gather our thoughts together.

How did Pulaski get the authority to get us fired? Who is Admiral Nagamura anyway? I had never heard of him until he visited the Enterprise.


"Stop daydreaming, Picard!" Kevin tells me, "And remember to smile at the patrons. A McGalaxy Customer is a HAPPY customer! That's our slogan. Let them leave with a smile."

Right now, I'm considering making Kevin leave with a spatula down his mouth.

"Phew!" says Bev breathlessly, "I'm shattered, Jean-Luc."

"Five more customers!" shouts Kevin, "Get ordering, Crusher. Remember your hourly targets and that a McGalaxy customer is a happy customer!"

A few seconds later, I hear a familiar voice.

"The Borg would not expect any drone to consume this, let alone a human."

I look out across the restaurant. Bev is saying hello to Seven, Ro, Jennifer, Britney and T'Pol.

Straightaway, I walk out of the kitchen and greet them. Kevin comes forward to stop me.

"What do you think you're doing, Picard?" he says, "Get back into the kitchen."

Seven gives Kevin a sharp look.

"You will come no further or you shall be assimilated." she commands, "From now on, you will not come near us while Locutus and the others discuss the situation."

Kevin scuttles off to the kitchen. I'm sure the Collective wouldn't be too keen on having him in the Hive Mind anyway.

"What's the latest?" I ask them.

"We've all been given the heave-ho." Britney tells me, as she lifts a Cheese McGalaxyburger from a customer on the next table.

"Right." I say, "We've got to decide a plan of action."

To be continued...

Saturday, May 09, 2009

TWQ: Big Money Spending

As the Euromillions Lottery could produce the world's biggest jackpot this weekend, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks what you will spend some on.

If you win a big money lottery, what sort of items would you buy? Rule: no charities, medical, family members or other things for 'good'. It has to be on yourself.

My answers are:

1: Old artwork

2: Harley Davidson

3: Ultra-fast sports car

4: House in US & New Zealand

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Three)

Editor's Note:

Luthor Sloan, Head of Section 31, the covert organisation that operates within Starfleet has an Admiral now in it's ranks, Nagamura, who has placed fellow Section 31 Agent Katheline Pulaski, the former Enterprise doctor as Captain, replacing Picard, who has been demoted and taken off the ship, along with Beverly.


Guest Poster: Will Riker

It's been a real pain with Kate Pulaski as Captain of the Enterprise!

She has even stopped me eating donuts as part of a healthy eating campaign. That definately did not go down well in my book.

"I've talked with Starfleet." Deanna tells me, "As he was an Admiral, there was no way I could get him to change his mind. I've also learnt that Captain Picard and Beverly have both quit Starfleet in disgust. Apparently, they did not like the jobs they were assigned."

"What were they?"

"Sweeping out the washrooms of the Cadets at the Academy."

We get a call on our Com telling us of a meeting of the senior staff in the Captain's Ready Room.

"Now then, staff." starts Pulaski, "I think Picard let things get way out of hand on this ship. Discipline was weak. From now on there will be strong leadership, right, Commander Riker."

"Err..yes, Captain." I say, waking up slightly.

"Now there are certain individuals on the ship whose behaviour in particular I will not tolerate." Pulaski continues, "Their time on the Enterprise is running out."

We all look at each other, as we wonder who she is talking about.

"Ensign Ro Laren." she starts, "Your loyalty is questionable because of your Bajoran background and possible Maquis links. You can't be allowed to stay here. You shall be reassigned."

Ro stands up and shouts, "No one questions my loyalty!" and walks out.

Oh dear. It seems we might have a few of these.

"Jennifer Baxter." Pulaski continues, you have not been seen as a good Ensign, and will be removed from the ship."

Both she and Data protest, but Jennifer tells her to stay where he is and fight the wicked witch. She too walks out.

"Now we seem to be getting the dead wood out of the ship." Pulaski triumphantly remaks, "Now as for you two, Ensign Britney and T'Pol, you are the most badly behaved people on Starfleet. Why you are still on the Enterprise is beyond me. You both fired from the Fleet. both of are repugnant."

Ouch. That's tough.

"Are you sure you're a Captain, Pulaski?" Britney asks, "You seem a sinister sort to me. C'mon sistah, you and me are offa this place."

As Britney puts some chewing gum in her mouth, she and T'Pol walk away from the table.

"What goes around comes around, Pulaski." Britney reminds her.

Pulaski takes no notice, and looks firmly at Seven.

"Why do we have a Borg drone on board?" she asks, "She is a member of the enemy and should be exterminated."

"The Borg Queen placed me here to study human life." Seven reminds me, "Locutus has treated me well. It prevents the Borg from assimil...."

"Captain Picard is no longer here." Pulaski tells her, "I will give you ten minutes to get off the ship with the others, otherwise you will be destroyed."

"Captain Pulaski." I say, "I really think you ought to reconsider."

"Do YOU want to go as well, Commander?" she asks.

As the Cap told me to stay and watch her before he left, I say no.

With half the Senior Staff gone, things are getting touchy here. I don't think anyone dare crack some Pulaski jokes in case anywhere is bugged.

To be continued...

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part Two)

Editor's Note:

Luthor Sloan, leader of Section 31, the covert division that operates within Starfleet, and answers to nobody has told his Agents J and K that the influence of the secret section is spreading. Carefully placed operatives, including a new Admiral working for them, plus a Commander will ensure that Captain Picard, plus some responsible for the earlier infiltration failure are removed.


"I haven't heard of this Admiral Nagamura, Number One." I tell Riker, as he, Bev and I go along to the Transporter Room to greet him.

"Apprarent he's just been promoted." Riker replies, "I suppose he wants to look at the Enterprise to get used to his new role."

"Yes, start with the best!" I say, preening slightly, "I always like to show the ship off to these Admirals that come. In another life I might have been a tour guide."

A figure beams in, slightly shoter than the average Admiral.

"Hello Admiral Nagamura." I start, giving my usual welcoming speech, "I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterprise, and this is..."

"I know who you are!" he interrupts sharply, "I am here to deliver a formal declaration. As of now, you are relieved as Captain of the Enterprise, and will be replaced."

Suddenly there is a deathly silence from me, Bev and Riker, as if someone has told a blue joke in front of a priest.

"What!" Bev says angrily, "What justification is there for that?"

"It has been noted." Nagamura states officially, "That Captain Picard has not enforced his position correctly, let the ship become lax, has associated with the Borg..."

"Only to protect ourselves." I tell the Admiral.

"Nonetheless." Nakamura says, "You will be demoted and reassigned."

"I don't want to be Captain in these circumstances, Admiral." Riker protests.

"You're being rather presumptious, Commander." Nakamura grins with a smirk, "The new Captain of the Enterprise is beaming in now."

The three of us turn round as the Transporter Room beams in another person.

"Greetings." says Katherine Pulaski, who was former Chief Medical Officer on the Enterprise before she went on a deep-space mission.

Beverly's jaw hits the floor.

"Yes." Pulaski comments with a smile, looking at Bev with a glare, "I've returned to Captain the Enterprise. I so wanted to return here after SOME PERSON sent me on a long mission into the outer reaches of the galaxy on the New Horizon ship."

"Err..." Bev stutters.

"Are you still here, Doctor Crusher?" Pulaski sneers, "Oh, I forgot to tell you that you've been demoted as well. I don't want you two on my ship."

"We're going." I tell her.

"Number One." I tell Riker, "Keep an eye on what she does. Let me know what happens."

As the two of us leave, I hear Pulaski speaking, "There are going to be a few changes on this ship now!"

To be continued...

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Picard Replaced (Part One)

Guest Poster: Luther Sloan

I've got a lovely warm glow.

It's not just because Agent's J and K have appeared in my office, but it's due to the fact of the latest Section 31 reports that I've read.

Happy reading it is!

"Greetings, Director Sloan." they say in unison.

"Hello, Agents." I reply, "I'm glad you have been reeleased from prison."

"How did that happen?" asked J, her blonde hair perfectly cut as usual. Sorry. I'm distracted.

"The reason." I say to them, "Is that the influence of Section 31 is spreading more throughout Starfleet. We have been able to place cetain Agents in key areas, enough to influence key decisions.

"So the Judge we saw this morning..." surmises K, her long dark hair, sweeping over her shoulders.

Sorry. no more distractions.

"No, he wasn't from Section 31." I answer, but our Blackmail Agent threatened to expose his liaison with the 18 year old female Court Clerk to his wife if he did not let you go."

"Cool!" she says with a smile, "What's next?"

"I've had some good reports, Agents." I tell them, "For the first time, a Section 31 operative has been given an Admiral's position. Not only that, we have another agent that is currently a Commander, whom the Admiral could promote to a Captain."

"And that means...?" J asks hopefully.

"It means that Picard can get replaced." I say with delight, "Then, with a Section 31 Agent as Captain of the flagship Enterprise, we shall be in an excellent postion."

"I want Jennifer Baxter and Ro Laren replaced!" K declares sharply, "They foiled our infiltration."

"As did those oddballs Britney and T'Pol." J adds immediately.

"As for that Seven character..." K starts.

"Don't worry, Agents." I say with a smile, "The new Captain will be briefed on what to do by me."

I lean back in my chair quite satisfied, like a cat that has the cream.

Things on the Enterprise are going to be very interesting!

To be continued...

Saturday, May 02, 2009

TWQ: Five Ways To Escape A Zombie Invasion

The TWQ (The Weekend Question) is for those with a good sense of humour, and invites you to be as surreal as possible. I saw this on Facebook and added my five there.

What five articles would you select that would help you get through a zombie invasion?

My answers are:

1: Running shoes.

2: An axe.

3: 'Look like a zombie' makeup kit.

4: Map.

5: Food.

Now it's over to you...anything weird and bizarre will do!