Sunday, January 25, 2009

Worf's Weight: A Good Day To Diet?

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

"It took you a while to get away from those monsters." I say to Worfie, as we emerge from the holodeck, "That Chieftain nearly caught you. It's a good job that we had the safety protocols on."

"Nonsense." Worf answers gruffily, "He must have been programmed at a faster than usual speed. I never need these protocols."

"Say what you like." I tell him, "I've noticed that you are getting slower. Why was it that you had to order a new uniform at a larger size last week? You're getting fat, Worfie."

Worf gives me a look as if I have insulted his whole family line. Nevertheless, I press on. His rants don't bother me.

"Look, Worf." I tell him, "How many true Klingon warriors do you see overweight? The only ones eating too much we see are those in bars reminiscing about the good old days with Bloodwine. You don't want to be like them?"

He ponders for a while. I think I've struck a chord. Worf sees himself as fit rather than overweight.

"Very well, Jadzia." he declares, "I shall be carefl what I eat. It is a good day to diet."

I'm not sure whether that was what he thought or an example of Klingon humour. They are not known for their joke-telling.


A few hours later, we are ready for lunch, and I give this to Worf.

Greek Salad

"What is this, Jadzia?" he asks, "It looks awful."

"I thought we'd start your dietry program off with a Greek Salad. They are very popular with..."

"A Klingon does not eat salad!" barks Worf, "Imagine how my fellow warriors would act if I told them that I had a salad before going into battle?"

"At least you would have a better chance of surviving in the battle." I tell him, "They would probably get killed."

Worf reluctantly starts to eat his Greek Salad. Though he moans and curses, he eats it all. He gets up and marches to the holodeck.

"I have a few holographic monsters to kill."

Getting Worf to shed weight will be a long process. Any monsters, real or otherwise had better watch out in the process. It's the only way he lets off steam!


Carmi said...

I definitely think Jadzia's on to something: wouldn't a well-balanced diet - one that includes greens - help a Klingon warrior maintain and build strength and agility? I think Worf needs to rethink his dietary priorities.

As ever, coming here is like coming home. I'm so glad Tanya sent me today!

Ellee Seymour said...

I like the look of that healthy Greek salad.

Vince Briefs said...

ugh Salad! Well killing monsters is a good way to klet off steam until the Monster rights groups get all up in your face.

HersheyAreaPlayhouse said...

Did you know that Terry Farrell ("Jadzia Dax") is making her stage debut in February 2009? She's starring with her husband (Brian Baker, "The SPRINT PCS Guy") in Love Letters at Hershey Area Playhouse in Hershey, PA. Check it out at

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Jean-Luc Picard said...

I can't see a Klingon eating a salad!

Ellee Seymour said...

Maybe not in space, but in Greece certainly...

Marie Reed said...

Found you through Mimi! This is so groovy!

The Curmudgeon said...

A Klingon warrior should diet by fasting, not by eating salads!

EastCoastLife said...

He needs to eat meat to fight! I would stuff him with lots of meat before sending him off. :)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Mmm I'll eat the salad

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