Thursday, January 08, 2009

Planning For Jean-Luc's Birthday



Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

For a change, I'm the one in charge of a senior staff meeting.

I've called it without Jean-Luc's knowledge as he is currently at a Captain's Conference at Rhiaana VI.

"Listen, everybody." I tell them, "I have a special reason for calling this meeting. I wanted to talk about Captain Picard's birthday on 14th January."



"Are you going to pass round an envelope and force them to contribute for a present?" asks Seven of Nine, "If you are, I would like to volunteer. I could then assimilate them if they refused to comply."

"There's no need for that, Seven." I reply, "I'm sure they will contribute willingly. Now we want to make it very special, as it is the Captain's 50th birthday."

"I didn't know he was THAT old." comments Ensign Britney, "He must be past it by now."

"He most certainly is not 'past it', Ensign." I say annoyingly to her, though there are several giggles in the room, "Any more talk like that and you'll be in the brig."

"You'll have to be careful with the candles on the cake." T'Pol says, "If they are all lit at once, there could be a major fire hazard that could go out of control."

Both T'Pol and Britney fall about laughing, and I indicate to Lieutenant Worf to remove them from the room.

"Well, What are we going to get the Captain?" Geordi asks, "He does seem to have everything."

"How about a surprise birthday party?" Jadzia suggests.

"That might be good." Riker comments, "We could put towards a trip for two to the planet Romantica, a holiday resort for couples only."

"Who would the Captain wish to take?" Data says out loud.

All eyes are then looking at me.

"Err... well.." I stutter, "The Captain may wish me to come...just to check if he is alright, of course."

Everybody has a look that says to me "What a fib!"

"That's it, then." Riker says, "Let's collect for the Captain's trip."

"....and mine." I think to myself.

9 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

Hmmmm. Trying to post this again...

It seems to me that Dr. Crusher would have a very hard time trying to sell the idea that the Captain is not "past it" but needs to take his doctor to the otherwise couples-only resort planet, there, presumably, to canoodle with, to the extent that he remains able, with some unidentified third party.

No... I don't think anyone will buy this one... maybe Data, I suppose... but not anyone else....

oksecretsquirrel said...

I hope you both have a great trip to the couples resort!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I hope they don't go to that resort Brit and T'pol went to awhile back.

Amanda said...

I wonder if the Captain would agree to go to a couples resort?

Linda said...

Haven't Britney and T'Pol heard that 50 is the new 30? Those girls, sheesh!

It does sound like a very nice gift, though, and I'm sure the Captain would enjoy the R&R.

Gordon said...

Hmm Doctor Crusher, I think you had this in mind all along.....

Jana said...

A couples resort sounds nice, Bev! Could you send me a brochure?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jana, do I get a commission?

Gordon, you might be right there.

Linda, I believe Britney & T'Pol think that those aged 50 are ancient dinosaurs.

Amanda, it might be easy to consider.

MOTD, that resort is for under-30's where the decibel level in the clubs is 120.

Squirrel, I'm sure a post will be concerning the trip to the resort.

Curmudgeon, I don't thinkn there is a third party!

David said...

50???!
this old ship passed fifty long ago