Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Mayor Of Unimatrix Zero
Guest Poster: Annika Hansen
These first few days as Joint Mayor of Unimatrix Zero have been an absolute nightmare!
My term of Office commenced on the 1st of January, but the trouble is that in the elections, I came joint first with Axum, against whom I fought a long and bitter campaign.
He was also my former lover, who ran off to join that floozy Bajorian, Vi Toran.
I know what you're thinking. Yes, Unimatrix Zero is only an unconsious state of mind that Borg drones with the recessive gene can enter when they are regenerating in their alcove. But while we are here, it's as real as real life.
That's why we have elections to see who is the top dog. There is love...and hate, which I have experienced both with that creep Axum.
Since we have become Mayor, we argue about everything. Nothing new there, I hear you say, but this is about political decisions. We on about the times refuse men should come, how long bars should stay open. Naturally, he wants more golf courses to be built...I want them to be taxed.
"We're not doing THAT!" he'll say, whenever I put a proposal forward.
"Oh yes we ARE!" I'll snap back, usually throwing some drink in his face at the same time. The Mayor's office resembles a war zone at time.
The one that has the hardest job is the Peacekeeper, a council member appointed to sit between us and maintain order when the words start flying.
Naturally, I had something to say when Axum appointed his secretary.
Yes, you know who it was already. The floozy got the job. Vi Toran is there to sit on his knee and take the notes of anything he writes.
"Disgusting." I said to him, "Couldn't you appoint someone with more than one brain cell?"
"I can appoint whoever I like." retorted Axum, "I'm the Mayor."
That's the way it's been ever since January 1st. Nothing has been passed of course. As the two of us can't agree on anything, no laws are coming through.
The joys of being a Leader!
Apologies to those whom I haven't blogged over the last two or three days. My computer is ultra-ultra slow. I hope to have this fixed ASAP.