Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Wedding Invitation

"Have you had yours yet, Jean-Luc?" Beverly asks as she rushes into my Ready Room.

"Have I had what, Bev?" I reply, though I think I can guess what the subject is about.

"Why, the Wedding Invitation for Wesley and Karena's wedding, that's what!"

Beverly waves a document cheerily in front of me, as if it is a Treaty foe eternal peace in the Quadrant.

"Oh, that." I reply, "Yes I have it right here. They came together and were sent to all the senior staff."

I open mine and read it out.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard,

You are invited to the Wedding of the Princess Karena to Wesley Crusher on the amazonian planet of Wondawowman starting 19th August. The ceremony will take place at the Oracle of Wisdom and be officiated by the bride's mother, Queen Diana.

Please note that as you have been designated Man of Honour, and will serve the Life Servant-to be during the ceremony, you will be allowed to sit near the front. All other men, due to their low ranking in our matriachal society, will all have to sit at the back and not be allowed to speak until called to do so.

We hope you enjoy the occasion.

Queen Diana

"Well that's an interesting one." Bev says, "Mine is slightly different."

She reads it out:

Dearest Beverly,

I have pleasure in inviting you to the wedding of my blessed daughter Karena to your son Wesley on my home planet of Wondawowman starting 19th August. As you are giving away Wesley in the ceremony at the Oracle of Wisdom, you shall have a place of honour.

As for the men, we'll keep them out of the way.

I look forward to your arrival,

Your sister in strength,

Queen Diana

"The Queen seems to have worded all of the invites differently." I comment, "I wonder what she put for...."

Ensign Britney marches in.

"Have you seen what the Queen has wrote on my Wedding Invitation?" she grumbles.

Our Deltan Ensign starts to read it:

Ensign Britney,

As a woman, you are naturally invited to the wedding of Karena and Wesley at the Oracle of Wisdom on Wondawowman starting 19th August. However, I warn you, if I see one spot of chewing gum anywhere, you'll be in the amazon prison before my daughter has the chance to say "I do."

Queen Diana

I try not to smile as Britney storms out in disgust. When she's gone, it all becomes too much and both Bev and I fall about laughing.


Editor's Note:

There is an invite here for YOU, the blog reader as well....

Blog readers,

You are invited to the wedding of Princess Karena and her hapless Life-Servant-to-be Wesley here starting 19th August. Women, remember your new hats, and men, remember to sit at the back!


Jaime said...

I'll be there, Captain! Thanks!

Big Melly Mills said...

Thanks for the invite!!! I hope all the men in back don't mind me blocking their view!!!

Linda said...

Oh dear, I must go hat shopping as I fear I don't have one to wear at all and that would be horribly inappropriate, wouldn't it? Hmmm ... what sort of hat does one wear to an Amazonian wedding??

Queen of Light and Joy said...

If I see any gum anywhere LOL

Michelle sent me

Anonymous said...

ROFL!! Oh no this is a GOOD one! Wouldn't miss it for the world!


Amanda said...

LOL! I think lots of people wish they had the time and energy to word each invitation individually.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Cool, I'll be there :)

Jane said...

Oh my, this is so exciting. I hope I can find the right thing to wear!!!
I am honored to have been invited.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Hooray! A Wedding! I love Weddings. Do you need an "Officient"? I am accredited!
Barring that, I will be there as a guest, my dear!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh, Of Course--You said that The Brides mother will be officiating...Sorry about that. Well, if something happens to her, I'm ready to step in!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Wow! I never thought that this day would come.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

There'll be a reception with beer, right?

Tony Stark Iron Man said...

Weddings scare me, an Amazon one probably more so.

The Curmudgeon said...

I'll sit in the back cheerfully and without complaint... as long as the bar is nearby.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

ooh a hat!!
looking forward to this.

Jean-Luc Picard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jean-Luc Picard said...

It looks like the hat departments are going to be busy with everyone getting a new one.

Linda, I think amazonian hats tend to be made out of steel.

Queen of Light, you'll know where any gum has come from!

Jon, Curmudgeon, I'm not sure whether the beer tent will allow men to use it. They are usually for tough amazons when they return from a mission.

Ciera said...

Does a tiara count as a hat? I could wear that. Does Queen Diana recognize off-world princesses?

I hope there'll be wine!

(I'll have to make sure I'm out of the dungeon on my own blog by that time!)

Epiphany said...

Hee-hee! Let's hope ensign Britney forgets the chewing gum, AND her umbrella as she can be quite a dangerous wedding guest with the latter in hand!

UngaMan said...

Ok... I'll be there... ummmm

to sit in the back... and unable to speak...

can I bring a bottle of wine?

Footsteps said...

Ha! Too funny... I wonder what the etiquette mavens would say to those invites?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ciera, I'm not sure how Queen Diana would react to someone coming in a tiara. You may get thrown in another dungeon or recruited as an amazon.

Epiphany, you're right about Britney and that ubrella...she's as scary as Karena and her spear!

eastcoastlife said...

*singing* I am woman!! I'll be there!

Nycole said...

What fun wedding invites!