"Have you had yours yet, Jean-Luc?" Beverly asks as she rushes into my Ready Room.
"Have I had what, Bev?" I reply, though I think I can guess what the subject is about.
"Why, the Wedding Invitation for Wesley and Karena's wedding, that's what!"
Beverly waves a document cheerily in front of me, as if it is a Treaty foe eternal peace in the Quadrant.
"Oh, that." I reply, "Yes I have it right here. They came together and were sent to all the senior staff."
I open mine and read it out.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard,
You are invited to the Wedding of the Princess Karena to Wesley Crusher on the amazonian planet of Wondawowman starting 19th August. The ceremony will take place at the Oracle of Wisdom and be officiated by the bride's mother, Queen Diana.
Please note that as you have been designated Man of Honour, and will serve the Life Servant-to be during the ceremony, you will be allowed to sit near the front. All other men, due to their low ranking in our matriachal society, will all have to sit at the back and not be allowed to speak until called to do so.
We hope you enjoy the occasion.
"Well that's an interesting one." Bev says, "Mine is slightly different."
She reads it out:
I have pleasure in inviting you to the wedding of my blessed daughter Karena to your son Wesley on my home planet of Wondawowman starting 19th August. As you are giving away Wesley in the ceremony at the Oracle of Wisdom, you shall have a place of honour.
As for the men, we'll keep them out of the way.
I look forward to your arrival,
Your sister in strength,
"The Queen seems to have worded all of the invites differently." I comment, "I wonder what she put for...."
Ensign Britney marches in.
"Have you seen what the Queen has wrote on my Wedding Invitation?" she grumbles.
Our Deltan Ensign starts to read it:
As a woman, you are naturally invited to the wedding of Karena and Wesley at the Oracle of Wisdom on Wondawowman starting 19th August. However, I warn you, if I see one spot of chewing gum anywhere, you'll be in the amazon prison before my daughter has the chance to say "I do."
I try not to smile as Britney storms out in disgust. When she's gone, it all becomes too much and both Bev and I fall about laughing.
There is an invite here for YOU, the blog reader as well....
You are invited to the wedding of Princess Karena and her hapless Life-Servant-to-be Wesley here starting 19th August. Women, remember your new hats, and men, remember to sit at the back!