Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Wesley's Stag Night

Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

As I'm getting married next week to my honeybunch, Karena, my male friends who used to be with me on the Enterprise has decided to throw what they called a 'Stag Night Party' for me.

This also used to be called a 'Bachelor Party' and it was traditional for the groom's friends to do this before they got married.

"It's your last few days of freedom, Wes!" pipes up Geordi, "After that, Karena will have you doing what she likes."

"I don't mind that." I reply, "I'm in love."

Geordi laughs as we all settle down at our table at the Cafe Sordid.

"This place looks a little dubious." I remark to Commander Riker, "Couldn't we have found somewhere else?"

"Sure we could, Wes." Will replies, "But we wanted to find somewhere where you'd ...enjoy your party." he continues with a sly smile.

"It is a pity that Captain Picard himself could not join us this evening." remarks Data, "Did he say why he couldn't come?"

"He informed me that he had an important meeting with the admirals." Worf answers, "Though judging by his his tone, I'm not sure whether this is accurate."

"I think he didn't want us to know that he already knew all the doormen and staff!" laughs Geordi to Data, who immediately looks confused.

The room becomes dark, but the stage becomes a mass of lights.

A young brunette walks on to the stage, wearing a long black dress, and a beautiful hat, fishnet stockings and red shoes.

"I'm Joy Delight, and I have a treat for a young man named Wesley Crusher." the woman announces seductively.

With that, Riker hand me a 'Learner' shirt to wear, and we carry on looking up at the stage.

Joy Delight has removed her hat, and is about to step out of her dress.

"Why is the lady removing her clothes?" asks Data. He is clearly confused, and Geordi tries to explain has best as he can, while keeping an eye on the stage.

Not long after, when Joy has finished her stage act, we all get up to go.

"Well, what do you think of your Stag Night, Wes?" asks Commmander Riker.

"Pretty good, sir." I reply, "I think it's been quite an experience for Data as well!"

"Yeah." he answers, "Err...it might be a good idea not to mention where we've been to Karena or Deanna. They might not quite understand."


The Curmudgeon said...

Once again Riker's missed a key point -- no wonder he never gets to be Captain!

Riker forgot to instruct Data not to mention the stag party to Jennifer Baxter -- and when he recounts it in vivid detail in order for her to explain various aspects of the proceedings that he was not quite able to comprehend, you can just bet that Karena and Deanna will find out all about it.

Splendid inspiration you had, Jean Luc, about the "meeting with the Admirals" -- Beverly would have had problems with this one, too, I'm guessing.

Or was it really because you knew all the doormen and staff?

Linda said...

What? No drinking? No carousing? No staying out till all hours of the night and dragging home dead drunk and not knowing what went on all night? Hmmm ... this is definitely not the type of Stag Party I've heard tales of! Perhaps that's a good thing when it comes to Wesley - and Data!

Nepharia said...

I think Wes left out a LOT that actually happened just to be on the safe side. I'm sure Karena reads this blog too.

Gordon said...

Yeah I could tell you what happened if I could remember, darn remind me to steer clear of that stuff I was drinking can't even remember what it was it makes bloodwine look like water. I'm just glad that my computer understands my audio commands when I'm drunk. I'll be at starbase 12 which I remember is far, far away from Wonderwoman.

Epiphany said...

Yep, it might not be a good idea to mention it to Karena. What with her being Amazonian and all.

"Joy Delight", I love it jlp!! :)

Amanda said...

I think Data would have gotten the most out of the evening!

Batman said...

I somehow do not doubt that Karena and her fireinds had a wild night of thier own.

Vegeta said...

I'm shocked Wesley didn't pass out.

Ellee Seymour said...

Wes looks a real dreamboat, I hope he and Karena will be happy.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I'm amazed it wasn't Ensign Britney stripping down!

Merlyn Gabriel said...

sounds like an uhm...fun time

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Nepharia, maybe Wes did leave a lot out!

MOTD, I dread to think what would have happened if Ensign Britney was stripping!

Vegeta, Data probably passed out instead.

Batman, you are astute, the next post will feature Karena's Hen Night.

Epiphany, I love the name 'Joy Delight'. It's ideal for a stripper!

Linda, as Nepharia suggests, maybe Wes did not mention all the drinking and carousing.

Lahdeedah said...

And they didn't even get Wes drunk?

Anonymous said...

I love the last minute words: "I don't care I'm in love" kinda thing. THat's where it all starts!

hee hee

Jana said...

Yes, someone definitely should have ordered Data not to share the details of his evening out with the guys. This could only mean trouble.

Titania Starlight said...

Sounds kind of tame as compared to what Karena must be planning for her bachelorette party. I do hope she has one and shares! :o)

Michael Manning said...

Joy Delight: I am hearing Three Dog Night's version of Randy Newman's classic song "You Can leave Your Hat On"! ;D)!!

eastcoastlife said...

What! That's all!?? I was expecting more...

Jean-Luc Picard said...

ECL, as I said earlier, maybe Wes left out the jucier bits in case Karena found out?

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