Ensign Britney Undercover (Part One)

I am talking with Admiral Harriman on my videoviewer.

I only seem to get messages from him when there is trouble. One thing I'll have to try is see if I can block his messages like the 21st Century computers did with spam. His messages are about as welcome as ones promising wonder pills or from lawyers of African princes who perished in a plane crash and want to use my account to transfer money.

My mind is wandering.

"Captain Picard!" Harriman says, "Are you listening?"

"Of course, Admiral."

"Well, like I said." he continues, "The Federation is getting worried about the Dregs of Society. They seem to be on the rise again."

The Dregs were an underground counter-culture who were trying to destabilise the harmonious set-up that exist on Earth. Their leader, Dirk Dreg is currently in a penal colony.

"What evidence do you have?" I ask.

"Sources tell us that they are slowly gaining in numbers." Harriman tells me, "We need to get someone on the inside and find out just what is going on."

"I think the Dregs know myself, Riker, Doctor Crusher or Deanna Troi." I tell him.

"Not you!" Harriman laughs, "Any of you are far too old. The Dreg ringleaders would spot you in an instant. Besides that, you are too well known. However, you do have a member of the crew who would be able to infiltrate the Dregs without a problem. No one would suspect she was with Starfleet."

I give a look of horror and drop my cup of Earl Grey tea,

"Surely, Admiral." I croak, "You can't mean...?

"Yes, Picard." he confirms, "Ensign Britney will fit in perfectly with the Dregs."

So well, she'd probably be leader within half an hour.

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A few moments later, Ensign Britney has been brought from the brig and is sitting in my Ready Room.



She takes a strip of chewing gum from inside her Dr Martens black boots and plays with Fido, her pet dog, while she listens to the assignment I am giving her from Admiral Harriman.

"Cool!" she exclaims, "Can I take my soulsistah T'Pol or my dog along for the ride?"

I sigh.

"No, Ensign." I reply, "This is a dangerous mission. They may recognise T'Pol as a non-Dreg, and Fido's safety may distract you from your objective."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." admits the Deltan.

"Now the Dregs will always dress in weird clothes that no normal person will use." I tell her, "We will give you a range of clothes for you to use so that you won't be detected."

"No need, Captain." Britney replies, "I'll just use my own clothes, "They will be wilder than anything you can provide."

Now why didn't I guess that?

Britney leaves the room the prepare for mission. Deanna comes in.



"I'm concerned, Captain." she informs me, "Do you think Britney will be safe from the Dregs?"

"Actually, Counselor." I reply, "I think we should consider whether the Dregs are safe from Britney."

To be continued...