Thursday, March 06, 2008

Ensign Britney Undercover (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

Yay! I love it when a mission is going well, like mine appears to be.

Tamara, the member of the Dregs of Society that I've met is taking me to the Dreg HQ. My mission is to infiltrate this counter-culture movement, which is gathering pace in the Federation, and is planning to overthrow the peaceful society on Earth.

I am taken to a secret underground chamber within an office building. No one would suspect the Dregs are here. The elevator opens up and the two of us go forward, where a group of strangely dressed individuals are around.

I say strangely dressed in the eyes of regular people, but to me they look perfectly normal. I could be dancing with them and my soulsistah T'Pol at the Cafe AGoGo Nightclub.

"Look who I have here!" exclaims Tamara, "This is Britney; she's a Deltan and wants to join the Dregs. She looks like she'll be a fab asset to the group."

"Well I don't like her!" says a sour voice.

"You never like anyone, Vyla!" snaps Tamara, "Britney is one of us, now."

I start to feel a little guilty, as if the teacher in class is declaring that someone has done something naughty.

"Well I DO like her!" says another voice from the rear of the room. A figure steps from the shadows and approaches me.

"Hello, Britney, honey." she says, "I'm Desdemona Dreg, leader of this group. It's a pleasure to welcome you to us. We need more Deltans. They are so good at their anti-Federation operations."

"Don't be too sure about it, Desdemona." Vyla warns, "There's something about this Deltan that I don't like. Are you really one of us, Britney?"

"Err...yeah..sure." I reply hastily.

"Vyla!" Desdemona shouts, "You should be grateful for the members we get. We didn't have very many for the Christmas Dreg Dinner Dance last December. Fortunately, membership has quadrupled since. Britney is one of us and is now my friend. We'll all be going on the big mission soon. That includes her."

My ears lift up at the sound of the words 'big mission' like those of a rabbit when they hear something...or a Vulcan or Ferengi."

"Err...what 'big mission' is that, Desdemona?"

"We're going to the penal colony, sweetie." she replies, "We're gonna break my brother Dirk Dreg out of there so that he can lead us all to a triumphant Dreg victory."

I go and look outside. My heart is sinking.

The Dregs' clothing and lifestyle are my kinda people, but their criminal activities are not. Am I betraying them if I can lead them into a trap at the penal colony? Anyway, I can't get any information out to the Enterprise. The Dregs are watching me closer than a three-eyed walachi bird.

These sort of choices are harder for me than picking what style of Dr Martens boot to wear.

To be continued after the weekend TWQ...


The Curmudgeon said...

No interest in criminal activities? Then why has Ensign Britney made the Brig her second home?

Gordon said...

Curmudgeon cos like she don't do rules very well.
I'd say she's in deep and is gonna have to do some quick planning, oh wait it's Britney she'll screw up somehow and either die or get them all caught, or maybe both *scary though*

The Real Mother Hen said...

Ok, it's time for Britney to send the signal to Enterprise by throwing her panties up high to the sky.
Ops, she has forgotten to wear one!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Buncha crazy wierdos.

They give crazy wierdos a bad name.

Linda said...

I'm sure that in the end Ensign Britney will do the right thing. Scary, isn't it??

Jen said...

She's scary. Battlestations!

You should stop by my blog, you'd be proud of me! Be sure to wear a mask now (to breathe, not to hide your identity.)

Spoiler said...

UYou know OU think I've gotten too used to people with Blue hair in West City, That one girl didn't even phase me thn agai I wear a hood and a cape.

Amanda said...

Who knew that Britney would get THIS conflicted?!

Casdok said...

Britney, so that explains a few things!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Yeah its sad, the dregs look like people I see anytime I'm in Pittsburgh. Apparently they've already infiltrated PA.

Mr. Althouse said...

Seems to me that Britney would be right at home in a penal colony...

Michele sent me, double entendre intended.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Mother Hen, you're right, that would have been a good signal!

gautami tripathy said...

Britney who??


Michele sent me here.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

Gosh she needs new nylons....

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