Sunday, March 30, 2008
Your New Borg House
Guest Poster: The Borg Queen
This is the Borg Queen, and I'm sending this newsletter out to all those species who, for some reason, think the Borg race are terrifying and destroy everything, including your will and identity and turn them into robotic machines.
I am stating here and now that none of this is true.
All right, we DO turn you into robotic machines, the Borg ARE a little scary, we DO tend to destroy a few things, and I'll grant you, we DO remove your will and identity. But don't let all these minor details cloud your opinion of us. It is a good life to be a member of the Borg.
Just to show you how exciting it is, and the rewards you will get, I'm handing you over to One of Eight, who is head of the Borg Organisational Group (BOG)
Thank you, Borg Queen.
Now I know what you're thinking the life of a Borg drone is. Straight in the Assimilation Chamber, then off to work in the Cube, with the occasional regeneration in an alcove. This is not true. As Head of BOG, I'm going to set the record straight.
The drones do get time off, and have homes of their own on various planets around the galaxy. After a term on a Cube, you get a spell of leave in the home that we have for you.
Now if you're a drone, having just been assimilated, your new house may look like one of these.
You'll have no chance of any troublesome neighbours. They will be drones as well. What could be better? A great place where everyone will always have something in common.
Now after you've served us for some years, and have moved up in the ranks, you'll find your Borg house will increase in quality. In reward for your many years of assimilating and wiping out races, you'll get a luxury house such as this one.
So you see what a great life we Borgs have.
Don't delay, get assimilated today!
Now I'll hand you back to the Borg Queen.
Thank you, One of Eight. That was an excellent presentation, don't you think? If you wish to know further details, contact us on assimilateme.com and we'll be round with our Home Assimilation Service.
We're waiting to hear from you!