Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Mayor Of Unimatrix Zero

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen

All the inhabitants of Unimatrix Zero are getting a little bored right now.

There are all these people campaigning to be Mayor. So many posters fixed on the trees.

Of course, we are all Borg in real life, but those of them that possess the recessive gene in their bodies are allowed to exist in Unimatrix Zero when they are regenerating in their alcoves. My counterpart Seven of Nine wouldn't be too happy if she knew she was also Annika Hansen here!


I hear a knock on the wall of my cave.

"Hello Annika." says a familiar voice.

"Axum." I say with a groan, "What do you want? I thought you'd be with your new lover, that Trill named Vi Toran. She's not up to much, is she?"

"Annika." he replies, "Don't speak ill of Vi. I know we used to be close, but that's not why I'm here. I've decided to run for Mayor, and I was hoping if I could count on your vote?"

After I stop laughing, I remind him of all the secret assignations he went on before we parted, and all his time at the golf club.

"You'd be a politician with a sordid past." I tell him, "You had a mistress while you were with another woman. Axum, come to thing of it, you have the ideal image of a politician!"

Axum walks off sadly, as he knows my vote is not one he is going to get. After all, he can't have a policy to put car park fees up for the time someone is absent, just because their Borg selves are away from their alcoves.

Korris, my Klingon next door neighbour walks in and says he heard the commotion and laughing, and asks to make a suggestion.

"Why don't YOU run for Mayor, Annika?" he says, "I'm sure you'd be very popular. I could persuade all the Klingons to vote for you if you give them some favours in the tax system."

I consider this.

"Do you think it's possible?" I say, "I'd have to run against my former lover Axum. He would have the support of the Trills because of his mistress Vi Toran."

"But you will have the Klingons." Korris reminds me, "And all those who like your famous upside-down cake."

"What about the other contenders?" I ask.

"They will soon fall out of the running once they see the opponents. I'll be your Campaign Manager."

"All right, Korris." I say with a firm decision, "Let's start the ball rolling."


The Curmudgeon said...

Virtual politics in an imagination zone.

Sounds more and more like real life, unfortunately.

toxiferous said...

The upside-down cake would probably win me over.

mrsmogul said...

Oh uh but campaign managers usually end up resigning!

SQT said...

Ditto on the upside-down cake.

She'd also be the prettiest mayor I've ever seen.

Lahdeedah said...

Oh sure,

I'll vote for her in exchange for a piece of the upside down cake, too.

Amanda said...

A Klingon campaign manager should ensure a victory.

Jon the Intergalactic Abbreviator said...

Upsidedown cake and a Klingon campaign manager makes it sound like a sure thing to me.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Annika seems to have a winning combination with the voters!

Ellee Seymour said...

You can tell Annika doesn't come from the Borg House, yes, she is stunning and a vote winner.

Titania Starlight said...

Do you think Annika would care to share her UpsideDOwn cake with us? It seems to be quite popular.

Beth said...

My vote can be bought, for sure, by a nice wedge of upside-down cake.

Cheerio said...

Hi! It's been quite some time I've visited here. Just dropping by to say hello. Have been very busy.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

oooh this is exciting!!!!

Supermum, Psycho Bitch said...

She's beautiful and can cook. What more do you need?

The Real Mother Hen said...

Now let's bet that when Annika becomes Mayor, who she will kill first!

I'm here to collect your bet! Ha :)

Jana said...

I would rather have the Klingons on my side any day. Good luck, Annika!

Michael Manning said...

Annika Hansen!