Thursday, April 03, 2008

Do Not Disturb Picard!

Guest Poster: Will Riker

The Cap approaches me as he is about to leave after a shift.

"Now then, Number One." he starts, "I know you're about to do the 'graveyard shift' for tonight. I am telling you that I've had a very exhausting day, and under NO circumstances am I to be disturbed and woken up."

"But what if we get an alien invasion, Captain?" I ask, "Won't we..."

"I'm sure you can handle it." he says, "This is your chance to sit in the Captain's chair and look after everything."

The Cap walks off and I fit down on the Captain's chair. It feels very comfy.

"Deanna." I point out to her, "Why is it the Captain's chair is comfier than the Commander's?"

"Perhaps for the same reason he has got one more star on his uniform than you have?" she points out.

Sometimes Deanna has a way of putting things.


Some hours later, we are surrounded by four unknown shipsd, and get a visual hail on the screen. I put away the donut I am eating.

"I am Inspector Vartak of the Chameloid race." he declares, "You will be ready for boarding."

I tell him who we are, and that we will not allow ourselves to be boarded. He switches off.

"We may have to let him on, Will." Deanna tells me, "We are in Chameloid space. If we have committed an offence, it may be in our best interests. Besides that, there are four warships around us."

"You're right, Deanna." I tell her, "Though I'm not fond of letting a Chewbacca lookalike on the Enterprise."

I switch on and talk to Chewie... I mean the Inspector, asking him what the problem is.

"We've had reports of a disturbance in the area." he informs us, "We have been told that an alien starship has assaulted a member in the Sleazy Tavern on our planet and made off with a replicator. The starship was this one, the Warbird Centreprise."

"You've got the wrong ship," I tell him with smugness, "Warbirds are Romulan ships, this is the USS Enterprise. We saw the ship you are referring to six light years away."

Vartak looks embarrassed. As much as any of his race could look that way.

"Sorry to trouble you, Commander." he tells me, "We'll be on our way."

The four ships hurry off in the direction I pointed them. Worf will be happy that some Romulans will be in a Chameloid prison.


A few hours later, the Cap is up, and I am telling him what happened.

"Well done, Number One." he comments.

"Thank you, sir" I say, "I just wanted to ask something about the Captain's chair..."


The Curmudgeon said...

I hope Riker didn't leave any donut crumbs in the Captain's chair....

Titania Starlight said...

Well done, Riker and Deanna! Those Chameloids are not very attractive. I would not want to cross them.

Jen said...

Yes, well done!

Aw, just give Riker a nice chair... I'd like one, too, while you're passing them out!

Lahdeedah said...

Captains' chairs are ergonomic, while commanders chairs are not.

It's because captain's spend most of their time on their butts, and need protective padding.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Did you get a chance to practice the "Picard Maneuver?" while in the chair?

Nick Fury said...

Riker looks at you're chair like freaking Tony Stark looks at my office.

PI said...

Buy a cushion.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Yes, give Riker a nice comfy chair :)

Nepharia said...

I think the "comfy" factor of the chair has something to do with the the "envy" and "covetous" factors that Riker has for that chair. :D

Monica said...

Oh my goodness that was a good one. I personally liked "Though I'm not fond of letting a Chewbacca lookalike on the Enterprise"... oh yes, this should go down in the books...

not sure what books, but books none-the-less!

hee hee



Jean-Luc Picard said...

Stafleet can only afford so many comfy chairs. Besides the Captain, all the others get cheap plastic.

Linda said...

I can totally sympathize with Commander Riker as where I work my supervisor has a really comfy chair and I have one that leaves me limping at the end of my shift!

Ellee Seymour said...

I think you are in good hands with Comm Riker.

Gordon said...

Surely you could replicate a comfy one using his old one as "material" :D well maybe not..

Ciera said...

hmmm...I swear I've heard this story before...lucky for you that Riker let you sleep through it! :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ciera, yes, this is the story that happened to be when four police cars pounded on our door, and found it was the wrong address. I slept through it.

Michael Manning said...

A job well done!

eastcoastlife said...

I would love a comfy chair!

Anonymous said...