Sunday, April 06, 2008

Enterprise For The Scrapheap? (Part One)

"Are you sure we are not in any hostile territory, Number One." I ask Riker as we sit on our chairs in the Bridge.

"Of course not, sir." he replies petulantly. He had been complaining a few moments earlier about that plastic seat he has to sit on.

"Then why are we being signalled by four battlecruisers?" I ask. Apparently, Riker had been too busy picking the donut crumbs off his chair to notice the events on the screen.

"Oh, them." he replies hesitantly, "I'm sure they want to welcome us to their part of the galaxy."
"I don't think so." pipes up Deanna, "I feel there is distinct evil emanating from their ship, as well as opportunaties to get something."

I tell Data to activate the videoscreen to see what we've got this time.



Charming. This alien needs to work on his smile a little, although it looks like he visits the dentist often enough.

I go into my usual welcome spiel, although aliens tend to ignore it.

"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Star..."

"You will be silent!" the alien barks before I can finish, "I am Captain Karas of the Myranian ship Conquerer." he informs me, "You have strayed into our part of space. You will hand your vessel over to us."

"Now look..." Riker starts, but I urge him to sit back.

"Captain Karas." I say, in my best diplomatically grovelling voice, "We are explorers, and made a simple mistake by coming into your airspace. If you'll let us turn round, we'll remove ourselves, and I'll send a letter of comnedation to your government for the masterful way you conducted this incident."

"Your entire crew will be transported in five minutes by our mass transporter." Karas tells us, "To a safe planet in your space where you can reside. In a few months, we may choose to inform your commanders where you are, and they can rescue you."

"This is outrageous!" shouts Worf, "You will pay for your insolence!"

"...Or we may not." continues Karas. "Your starship will be taken by us to a Myranian scrapyard, where it will be crushed, and the metal used to build a Myranian ship. You can take comfort in knowing that your puny vessel will be making a REAL ship, that is worthy of battle."

The signal is gone.

"We have to attack the vessels now." says Worf and Riker, as if in tune.

"We cannot." Data tells them, "Sensors show that the four battleships have far superior weapons. We would be destroyed if there were just one."

"What are we going to do, Captain?" asks Deanna.



THIS is the woman that I ask for advice? Time is ticking away before we are all beamed off.

Come to think of it, there are two I know that won't be beamed off. Only they can save the ship.

Quickly, I instruct the computer to record a message to be activated with a holo-image of me the instant everybody leaves the ship.

------------

Suddenly, we all vanish, and over 1000 of us find ourselves on a tree-infested world, that looks well stocked with fruit and water.

Some crewmembers, who were on the nightshift, and were sleeping, are still in their jimjams. Ensign Britney complains that she did not have time to collect her chewing gum.

I instruct the staff to search for various places we can stay and things we can eat while we wait for the Enterprise to come back... if it ever does.

To be continued...

19 comments:

R. Sherman said...

In my younger years, I was attracted to Deanna. The only downside was the whole "mind reading" bit. Really, can't a guy have any privacy?

Cheers.

Private Hudson said...

Ahhhh! Giant space bug!

Beth said...

Those are some scary teeth. Ugly.

Jaime said...

Ooooh, an adventure!!

Bruce Cain said...

So they've finally masterd space travel

eastcoastlife said...

Sounds like TV mini series....'Lost'

*brings snacks, beverages, waits eagerly for the next episode....*

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh dear! And that alien doesn't look at all nice.

Ellee Seymour said...

I hope it will return very soon, what a scary looking alien.

The Curmudgeon said...

I'm glad you have a plan in mind. I'm concerned, though, that you don't seem entirely confident about it....

Jana said...

At least there's food and water. And Britney could always collect some sort of tree sap for chewing gum.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jana, you're right about there being plenty of chewing gum for Britney in the sap, but the other 1000 might have a problem.

That alien won't win any beauty contests.

Gordon said...

Yeah it is plum uglee... with a capital Uglee...
Shields up - Warp 9 quick enough it's been done before but let me guess someone forgot to keep the warp engines warm...
Good Luck Picard your gonna need it... "Q" is all I will say to that, he's set you up I'll bet.

Batman said...

Sounds like you're in trouble.

Jen said...

At least it seems like a nice place to wait...

Amanda said...

Uh Oh Captain! I hope you managed to record a detailed message on how to rescue you and your crew.

Danny Bailey said...

trusting a holograph... is that wise captain?

Justice said...

that was quick thinking Capt

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Batman, that is an understatement, saying it sounds as if I'm in trouble!

Danny, sometimes, it's the only option we have.

Michael Manning said...

Jim-jams! :D