Saturday, April 05, 2008

TWQ: Vacation Brochure Hidden Meanings

As people are booking their vacations, they look in brochures. TWQ (The Weekend Question) looks into some of the phrases they use.

Can you think of an alternate meaning that some of the vacation brochures might mean? List as many as you like.

My answers are:

'Simple rooms' .... walk 100 yards to the toilet.

'Two minutes to the beach' ... if you take a jet plane.

'Locals are friendly' ...women might get sexually attacked.

'Locals are very friendly' ... men might get sexually attacked.

'Busy area of town' .... very noisy.

Now it's over to you...


Vella said...

Great view...

of the alley and garbage dump.

Spacious rooms

they have no appliances.

friendly staff.

they smile and pretend they don't speak the same languge

Bob-kat said...

Sea View = you cna see the sea if you tand on the balcony and lean out to the right so you can see around the building in front of you.

Michele sent me to say hi.

rashbre said...

quaint - semi demolished
peaceful - one hour drive to nearest shop
rural - on pig farm

And today Michele suggested I fly by to leave these musings.

Happy weekend.


Amanda said...

I came across this one in the morning and I had to read and re-read it to try to think what they really intended it to mean.

"paradise for the lovebirds to unwind themselves for a comfortable yet passionate pillow talk by the sea. "

Lahdeedah said...

Old world charm - dilapidated building

Old Town location - pricey antique shops located on one of two safe street with overpriced cafes located on one of two safe streets

Family friendly - chain hotel

kimananda said...

Rustic indoor plumbing.

Oh, and Michele sent me!

Sleepypete said...

"Shops adjacent" - they're 200 yards away and sell nothing that anyone might be interested in.

Michele sent me :-)

Michael Manning said...

"Private Rooms": Why does this sound like an 80's TV detective series where a public official is busted with a call girl?

"Free HBO": Television sets from another decade.

"Indoor Pools": If you dare to get in!

"Complimentary Breakfast": With screaming tots who leave the room after a food fight, plus cold coffee.

"Complimentary Business Center": 1990 era computers on dial up with one printer that has been broken for 2 months. I mercifully placed an "Out of Order" sign on it.

"Complimentary Business Lounge": The TV set is running with an empty food basket and a refrigerator with a few cans of Sprite and water bottles.

"Conveniently Located": Above a freeway.

Sara said...

Family Friendly - screaming kids in the halls all day and night.

Adjacent restaurant - usually a KFC or McDonalds.

Thanks for visiting was good to see you!

Linda said...

I'm afraid I've not been on a vacation in a month of Sundays so haven't read any vacation brochures but I did want to say that some of these are really great!

Kon-El said...

Family fun centre,

rusty swing set that you need a tetnus shot after looking at.

PI said...

Bob-kat forestalled me.
Relaxed atmosphere; we don't change the sheets.
Michele sent me.

Bob-kat said...

'WiFi internet access' = You can access the internet as long as you're willing to remortgage your house!

Michele sent me back to play again!

utenzi said...

Michele sent me over, Captain.

Private Beach: so polluted no one goes there

Attentive staff: maids take your belongings and clerks stare belligerently at you

On the water: toilets back up frequently

Seasonal breezes: beware of hurricanes

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

ha ha ha, who's michelle??

balmy breezes: it's hotter than heck

smell the salt air: and the slimy salt spray will be all over your stuff in the morning

hear nature: there is a bear in the woods

smiles, bee

Bob-kat said...

'Private beach' = just you, your significant other and all the other residents at the huge resort!

'Secluded beach' = impossible to get to it without ropes and crampons!

Michele sent me back again :)

craziequeen said...

Michele sent me here today - I missed the TWQ yesterday! :-( I was out with friends....

'rooms with aircon' - having it doesn't mean it works!

'rustic' - cockroaches in the bed...

trust me - it happened!


Jaime said...

complimentary breakfast... a dirty counter with a couple of boxes of stale cereal and some old coffee.

eastcoastlife said...

5 mins to shopping mall - they didn't mention it's by helicopter! That's in Jakarta!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

It sounds like you've all been there and experienced those problems. Excellent entries!

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Great lists by everyone ... I've come across some of those LOL.

HOpe you are well, and keeping out of mischief ... I'm enjoying our Scrabulous game, by the way ... wish I were a better player !!! Practice makes perfect, perhaps !!

Take care, and catch you in Cyberspace !!