Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Enterprise For The Scrapheap? (Part Two)

Guest Poster: The Docter

What is the nature of your medical emergency?

That's typical. That call me up and then there's no one around.

It's strange, though, as the Sick Bay is empty. Dr Crusher is usually ordering people around.

Suddenly a holo- image of Captain Picard appears in front of me.

"Doctor." he says, "We have an urgent mission for you. The Myranians have beamed us all of this ship. The Enterprise is being taken to one of their scrapyards to be destroyed and useful parts taken. You must stop them before it's too late. Enlist the help of Vic Fontaine, the holo singer. I'm giving you the status for this mission of ECH...Emergency Command Hologram. You will be able to locate us by the beeper signal Commander Data has within him. Good luck."

It's like a tape should be burning at this point like a 1970's tv series at this point.

My uniform changes to Command Red.

Now they want me. Doctor Crusher keeps giving me the drudging jobs like sweeping the floor and cleaning the bedpans. The mood soon changes when they need me.

I decide to call the computer.

"How many Myranians are there on board the Enterprise?"

"There are six. Three on the Bridge, two in Engineering and one in Ten Forward."

Next I'll get Vic Fontaine.

I go to the Holodeck where The Sands nightclub is,. Fortunately holo emitters have been installed throughout the ship, so I can move freely.

Opening the door, I see Fontaine rehearsing, singing I Get A Kick Out Of You. I explain the situation.

"That's tough." Fontaine muses, "It's not much use if I don't have an audience to sing to every night."

I roll my eyes in despair. "That's not all. Our programs will be destroyed when the Enterprise is scrapped."

"Okay, Doctor." he says, "We've got a big problem. Now what I suggest is..."

"I'm in charge!" I remind Fontaine sharply, "See the red on the uniform? I'm the ECH. The C stands for Command, now you have to do what I tell you."

"Yeah, sure." he replies, "Keep your hair on, fellah. You're the boss man."

"Good." I say with a satisfied air, "We'll go to Ten Forward and take out the Myranian who is on his own, hopefully without alerting the others. "

"What about weapons?" Fontaine reminds me, as if I've forgotten.

"I know about them." I say, "The armoury happens to be on the way there."


We get kitted out so that we look like a pair of Rambos. Disruptor phasers shouldn't make too much noise, but it'll make a great impression on a Myranian when we fire.

The two of us enter Ten Forward. The Myranian turns round in surprise and we ventilate him with our disruptors.

"One down, five to go, Doctor." Fontaine comments.

I look outside and see a planet with scraps of starships flying around.

"We've arrived at the scrapyard." I say in alarm, and take a look on the surface with our scanner.

"We'll have to work quickly." I comment, "Otherwise that will be us. I don't fancy being the spare part of an old alien starship."

To be continued...


The Curmudgeon said...

I'm guessing this scrap yard is pretty heavily defended, even if they didn't send in the four ships that captured you as an escort. Overcoming the prize crew may not mean much if that's so.

But designating the EMH and ECH -- now there's a stroke of brilliance....

Justice said...

Wow what a bossy Holo

too bad Galen cant loan you some Holodemons

Jana said...

Never send a man to do a hologram's job! Go Doctor and Vic!

Amanda said...

I would have loved to see a photo of that 'pair of Rambos'!

Linda said...

Luckily you've got a couple of "Hologram Heavies" on board!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Maybe they can enlist the help of fellow holo, Arnold Rimmer from the mining ship, Red Dwarf :)

Professor Xavier said...

Looks kind of like Wolverine's bedroom.

Titania Starlight said...

I think these two can get the job done. I have faith in them Everyone needs that now and then.

Lahdeedah said...


I think I see my old ford fiesta down in that scrap planet!

Michael Manning said...

I sympathize with the Captain if he enlists the services of Sylvester Stallone ("Rocky") on board! :)

supergirl said...

So that's where Conner put all my Nightwing pictures jerk!

Mimi Lenox said...

You've been royally tagged by Mimi Queen of Memes. Have fun!
Message In a Bottle

Jean-Luc Picard said...

MOTD, I don't think Arnold Rimmer would be a good addition. After all, they want to win!

Lahdeedah, that's where all old Ford Fiestas go.

Gordon said...

ECH - disable comms - find their weakness and use it against them - then hit warp 9 and get the heck out of there doc.

captain koma said...


What bland comments.

Your all pedants.

At least one of you mentioned Rimmer from Red Dwarf.

Oh and you got tagged for a Meme.


Things are looking up.

Jaime said...

I'm on the edge of my seat, Captain!!

Nepharia said...

Hey, if they scrap your ship, doesn't Starfleet just give you a new NCC-1701-? ship?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Nepharia, like I said in Part Three, we have to pay for a new ship out of our salaries.

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