Today will be a good day to have a few stress pills.
'Red' Arthur Smith is visiting us.
For those unaware, he is a firebrand union official who is checking up on us, and on alleged reports that the ship is not conforming to unuin specifications.
Why Starfleet have put up with him is beyond me; it seems the slightest mishap, and 'Red' Arthur swoops down like a crow to cause trouble.
There are even rumours that he has named his son Lenin.
Arthur beams on and immediately starts looking around.
He has a lackey with him writing down everything Arthur says.
"Welcome Mr Smith and er...?" I start, "I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard."
"Hello." says the lackey, "I'm George Wilson and..."
"Don't talk to the Management, Brother Wilson!" snaps Arthur, "We only do that as a last resort, or to announce when the members shall be withdrawing their labour."
"I assure you there won't be any trouble here." I say, "We are all prepared to co-operate, aren't we, Number One?"
Riker nods his head.
"I can see that you've told your underlings what to say." Arthur replies, "That's in contravention to Article 4, Subsection C, Paragraph 5."
"Of course it is." I reply, airily, "Shall we go to my Ready Room to discuss matters?"
"I see." comments Arthur, turning to George, "You see what Management want, Brother Wilson, they want to interrogate me on their own ground. No, Picard, I prefer to go where our members are. There you will be on your own."
"Will Ten Forward be all right?" I suggest. He agrees.
When we get there, George hands him a list.
"Now then, Picard." I tells me, "There are a number of issues that have been bought to my attention. Namely the bringing in of foreign labour, instead of using Starfleet-trained personel."
"I'm sorry, Mr Smith, I don't quite understand."
"They always say that, Brother Wilson, don't they?" Arthur says to his colleague, who nods his head profusely.
Arthur sighs, and tries to explain it to me as if I am a young boy struggling to lean how to tell the time.
"There are two examples of imported foreign labour on board this Starship, Picard." he continues with disdain, "Namely two females."
"One of them comes from a mirror universe and lived 200 years ago." Arthur says, "She is a Vulcan by the name of T'Pol. For those two reasons, she doesn't belong here. Send her back!"
"The Terran Empire would be very hostile to someone who came from their past." I tell him, "She is safer here, so let's say she has asylum."
Arthur grumbles and looks at the next item on the list.
"Ah yes." he continues, "The other foreign labour worker is a Borg drone. She is not affliated with Starfleet, nor is a member of the Federation. Good, honest Starfleet personel are being denied the chance to work on the Enterprise because of her. She must be removed!"
"It's because of her we're still alive!" I reply, "The Borg Queen would have assimilated us some time ago had we not agreed to take her on board so that she could study human behaviour."
Red Arthur looks disgusted.
"This is not acceptable." he starts in his oration, "The union Brothers and Sisters cannot be held to ransom by a despotic Bor..."
Seven Of Nine walks in.
"Hello Locutus." she says, "Who are these people?"
"They are union people, Seven." I tell her, "They wish to remove you from the ship as they claim you are denying work to others."
Seven looks at them with intense anger, particularly Arthur.
"I shall report this matter to The Borg Queen." she says with venom, "You can be sure that you will both be assimilated immediately, and given the lowest drone positions on the Cube."
Arthur and George look panic stricken.
"Now, young lady." replies Arthur in a conciliatatory manner, "Let's not be hasty. I'm sure we can sort things out. After all, your presence is to the benefit of our union members. They are not being turned into drones."
"...For the moment.." Seven adds in a dry manner.
Arthur and George get up to leave.
"I think that's all we need to see you about, Picard." Arthur says quickly as he heads for the door, nervously looking at Seven.
"Were there not other matters?" I ask.
"NO!" they both shout loudly and run out.
"Thank you, Seven." I say to her.
She looks puzzled.