Sunday, August 26, 2007

Anger Management Course

Guest Poster: Worf

As a result of my hitting a diplomat when he remarked that 'Klingons weren't that tough', I have been instructed by Captain Picard to attend an Anger Management course.

There are a group of us in the room. Most of them seem either lazy or scruffy. All or slouched in their seats. That includes the females.

Our class instructor enters.

"Good morning, class." he says, "I am Claude, and I'm here to get you to release all that pent-up agression within yourselves so that you can emerge as better people."

The is a murmuring of disapproval around the class.

"Now the first thing I want you to do is hug the person to the left of you, tell them your name, and that you love them."

Some of the women and men start hugging each other, but it soon develops into kissing. Claude breaks them up.

"That is a little over-friendly." he comments."

"I am a warrior of the Klingon Empire." I tell him, "Klingons do not hug people and tell them that they love them."

"Now that's the sort of negative attitude we don't want here, Mr Worf." replies Claude, "Look, the person next to you can't wait to hug you."

"Let him hug you instead!" I retort sharply.

"Mmm, it looks like we are going to have a problem with you, Mr Worf." Claude continues, "Shall we all hug him, class, to show that Mr Worf is amongst friends?"

The class mumble again. They know they are skating on thin ice if they proceed further.

"Look, boss." says Jed, one of the toughest in the class to Claude, "Just let us get out of here, otherwise it'll be curtains for you."

Most of the class agree. I stand up, walk over to Jed, take Kayla, the girl who is sitting on his knee away and warn him.

"Though I should not be in this Anger Management class." I tell him, "You will listen to the instructor, as you clearly need to learn some discipline. If you do not, you shall face some Klingon anger, which I can assure you, would not be very pleasant."

There is silence throughout the class; Claude then walks up to me.

"Thank you, Mr Worf." he says quietly, "For that, I shall hug you."

"That is inadvisable." I reply, "Otherwise you may face being tipped upside down in the waste bin."

"Err, very well." Claude answers, "How about if I give you a diploma saying you passed your Anger Management Course?"

"That would be most satisfactory." I tell him with a slight Klingon smile.


Shane said...

It's a good thing that number one and the empath weren't at the anger management meeting. They may have took the over-friendliness to a whole new level.

Michele sent me here and I'll probably get killed off because I'm not a regular cast member -- d'oh

The Curmudgeon said...

An exceptionally wise instructor, I think.

Jaime said...

Yay, Worf!!!

You tell him.

Miss Trashahassee said...


Miss T

sfgirl said...

LOL! Great post, Worf! Well written!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

OH dear! Graham Norton. :)

Amanda said...

Haha...I like the 'slight Klingon smile.'

Random Magus said...

That was fun!!! I love your blog!

November Rain said...

Good for you Worf.. I mean that guy asked to be hit and you were punished

btw Tag you on Novy news

Lynne said...

Very creative post! Way to go Worf!

Mother Jones RN said...

Smart teacher. I love Worf, but I don't think I'd want him in one of my anger management classes:-)


Titania Starlight said...

Graham Norton to the rescue! Well done. :o)~

SQT said...

Trying to hug an unwilling Klingon is just never a good idea.

HollyGL said...

I'm ashamed to say I have no idea who Graham Norton is! I had to Google him.

Anyway, I think Worf handled himself with the utmost of civility!

swirly girl said...

I LOVE that Worf wouldn't be down with the hugging.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Is a slight Klingon smile anything like a growl because that's what I imagine it is.

Lavender said...

HaHaHa! Next time Im in one of those sorts of 'management' courses, Im going to remember this, and let loose a bit of my 'inner-Worf' Tehehe!

Leon said...

Worf: 1, Claude: 0. Klingon anger cannot be tamed!

John said...

In my very first post I wrote about my own ideas on "anger management" You can read them here if you like:

Ellee said...

I think these classes should be mandatory captain.

Galen said...

Hugs can be overrated

TX said...

Well since you passed I can test you right?

I would love to come and see 7 again

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I wondered how many of you would recognise Graham Norton as Claude. I thought he would be appropriate.

Novy, I'll take a look at Novy news.

TX, I'm sure Seven would be happy to see you. The two of you have a lot in common.

slskenyon said...

Poor Worf. He wouldn't be the same if he were ever rehabilitated from any anger management issues he has.

Real Life Drama Queen said...

LMAO. Makes me want to hug him.

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