Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Seven Of Nine Dates Reg Barclay (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Reg Barclay

What did I let myself in for?

Seven Of Nine has ordered that she and I go on a d-date at The Sands holographic nightglub so that she can start a relationship and learn about human behaviour.

I-I was so t-taken by surprise I could not say no; as the date is tonight, I'm p-panic stricken.

I talk to Deanna. She is always a good person who can help me.

"You do have a problem, Reg." she says, "Why don't you just be yourself? I'll admit that Seven isn't your average woman, but she is a human under all those implants."

"I s-see what you mean, Deanna." I reply.

"Just compliment her, Reg." she continues, "Don't think she might assimilate you when when the night is over."

This makes me even more terrified. Deanna tells me not to worry, and I leave her office.

I'm sure I heard the sound of Betazoid laughter after I closed the door.


A few hours later, I show up at Seven's door with a bunch of flowers. She opens the door.

"Hello Reg Barclay." she states firmly, "What are these flowers for?"

"T-They're for you, S-Seven." I say hesitantly, "A man likes to give a woman flowers, especially on a first date."

This provokes some anger from her.

"I am not a woman, but a member of the Borg." she dictates, "The Borg are supreme."

"Y-y-yes" I reply, "But you are learning about human behaviour."

Seven considers this.

"You are correct, Reg Barclay." she says, "Thank you for flowers,"

"Y-you're welcome, Seven." I tell her, "You look very err.... pretty tonight."


We make our way to The Sands, where the hologram Vic Fontaine is playing a set tonight. Everybody stares at us in amazement.

"Stop staring at us, or you will be assimilated!" Seven tells them.

I must admit, I smiled to myself about this one.

Vic Fontaine sings a couple of numbers and comes over to us.

"Hi, lovebirds" he says to us, "It's always a pleasure to see romantic couples here at The Sands."
I go bright red, and Seven stands up.

"We are only on our first date." she tells Vic "We are not yet 'lovebirds' as you call it."

"Whoa!" he replies, "I'm sure you two just need a song to get you started."

He signals the band, and they play 'Strangers In The Night.'

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wondring in the night
What were the chances wed be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -

Ever since that night weve been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.


Later, Seven gets up to leave with me.

"This has been a satisfactory date, Reg Barclay." she tells me, "We shall have to decide where to go for our second date."

I start to look panic stricken.

"Err..w-well, S-Seven." I tell her, "Maybe we w-will someday when we've g-got the t-time."

"We shall make the time." Seven replies, "Incidentally, when I mentioned to Commander Riker about our date, he started talking in baseball terminology about first base and second base. Do you know what he meant?"

I panic again.

"I-I really h-have n-no idea." I manage to reply.

Seven kisses me, her eye implant almost poking my eye out.

"Goodnight, Reg Barclay." she says.

I stagger to my quarters and manage to get to bed before I pass out.


The Curmudgeon said...

Fortunate that Reg was able to escape with his virtue -- and eye -- intact.

Sim said...

First base! LMAO! You never know - the relationship could work both ways. Seven gets a bit more human and maybe Seven will teach Reg to stand up for himself.

What am I saying!!? Of course Reg will change. ;) He'll dress differently, cut his hair differently and all at the whim of Seven. Mwah har har har!!

mrsmogul said...

The eye implant part made me smile. My eye implants have cup holders!

Lansy said...

Flowers, romantic songs, rather enjoyable. Seven may quickly pick up her woman side. :D

Linda said...

I shall wait with eager anticipation to hear about date #2! Provided Reg doesn't have a panic-induced heart attack prior!

joen05 said...

Good stuff! You reminded me about how much I miss star trek. Can't wait for the next installation!

Professor Xavier said...

Come on Reg, she was asking for more. It's your duty as a Star Fleet officer to go where no man has gone before. Besides, have you seen her in a catsuit?

Lavender said...

Her eye implant poking him in the eye ROFL Oh poor Reg! Thanks for the laughs - this is too funny!

Lansy said...

Let Reg image that Seven may turn out to be Missi Pyle in "Galaxy Quest"


Titania Starlight said...

This girl moves fast! A kiss on the first date? And the eye... that was quite a frightful sight to behold. But funny. :o)~

Bob Johnson said...

7 of 9 is mighty fine.

Real Life Drama Queen said...

LMAO at the baseball analogy. LOVED it as always. I have a great pic of 7 of 9 on my computer if you ever want it, email me.

Bilbo said...

I just hope their next date doesn't involve a hot tub...Seven might short out, and we'd never find out whether the baseball analogy applies...

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Poor poor Reg.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm sure Reg will be watchful of his eye on future dates.

Bilbo, that's a good point; we can't have Seven short-circuiting.

Titania, Seven is a very direct woman as I said. She doesn't wait around.

Lansy, that would be consoling for Reg.

Professor, that is a good point. Had Reg seen Seven in a catsuit, he might not be so scared.

Joen05, thaere isn't another part for now, but I'm sure we'll return to those lovebirds in the future.

Helen Louise said...

That was sweet :) I hope it works out.

Jana said...

Do you think Reg even knows what the bases reference means? I'd be surprised.

HollyGL said...

Oh, poor Reg! Talk about walking on eggshells! ...this situation can't end well. I think it would be best for him to find a logical reason for Seven's quest to be directed elsewhere.

Flik Sivrak said...

Oh no! You have to feel sorry for poor Reg...

I've got a feeling that this is going to end badly...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I don't think Deanna gave Reg the best advice when she told him that Seven was just a woman. Reg is far better dealing with machines than with people.

M. C. Pearson said...

Deanna is so mean to poor Barclay. But I couldn't help snickering too.

Good job with barclay...I can hear him stuttering! LOL.

Jaime said...

Oh, poor Reg! I actually feel sorry for him this time around(I usually just want to slap him).

Merlyn Gabriel said...

Oh my, I just have been catching up and am in stitches. Poor Reg.

Once again I am rewarded with great stories and reading!

thank you Captain and all your guests!


Amanda said...

I think Seven should give Reg a follow up buzz on his communicator tomorrow morning. That will leave him staggering for the rest of his day!

Used*to*be*me said...

I'm going to have to come back and read this when I'm not sluffing off work.

PS - Michele sent me

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jon, if Reg is better with machines, then maybe he does have a chance with Seven?

Merlyn, thanks for the comment.

Amanda, a call from Seven on Reg's communicator would terrify him!

Linda said...

Ah...the first throes of long as your eyes aren't poked out, lol!

Michele sent me to read this installment!

Lansy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lansy said...

hmmm, why no one felt sorry for Seven? Seven had to let go of her number one choice to go down the line all the way to Reg. Poor Seven.

Remember How Dr. Evil and his number one were turned into dark side? :P

Now I understand why Seven keeps on saying: you will be assimilated...

Optimus Prime said...

I find myself strangely attracted to this Seven of Nine.

Lahdeedah said...

I disappear for a few days, and Seven's dating....


eastcoastlife said...

This is such a funny post. haha... I can't wait for the second date. Are they gonna play baseball? hahaha....

Barbara said...

Too bad he didn't go out with her after she started to look a little more normal, especially after she lost that thing on her eye.

yellojkt said...

This is hilarious. I love the TNG/DS9/Voy mishmash of characters. I hope Reg gets lucky.

Michele sent me.

Ernie said...

You might want to stick to holographic women, Reg. They are far less confusing.

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