Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Bugs

As we cruise through space, Deanna comes running on to the Bridge, screaming.

"Help." she says frantically, "I've been attacked by bugs."

"Mr Data." I tell him immediately, "Have any spaceships been seen in the area?"

"No, Captain." he replies, "They may be using a cloaking device of some sort. The Counselor is lucky to get away from hostile aliens."

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"Captain!" Deanna says with exasperation, "They are not aliens, but just plain bugs on the ship. They were all over the floor in my quarters, and even more in the corridors on the way here."

"Of course." continues Data, still with his alien invader chip still running, "They could be attempting to communicate with us. We may have a First Contact situation, Captain."

"Listen, Data." I tell him with a sigh, "They are bugs, plain and simple. The ship needs to be fumigated."

Data mumbles something about lifeforms and contacts the nearest starbase with a fumigator.


At Starbase 14, a figure beams over.

"Hello." I tell him, "Thank you for coming. I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard. I'll take you through the ship."

"Hmmhhmhh" replies the figure, "Heffeessalawww."

"Sorry?" I ask, "I didn't hear what you said."

"Sirrrdassssa" he answers. The uniform is clearly to thick to hear anything with.

The figure is carrying a giant can on his back, plus a spray gun attached it. Suddenly I see the problem.

"Everyone will evacuate to the escape pods and remain there until the fumigation is over." I announce over the intercom.

I see the figure spraying away as he walks through the corridors. crewmen, running towards the escape pods cough as they go past.

An hour later, as I sit in the escape pod, I get a tap on the window.

"Mmmwehana" he says.

"I still can't hear you." I reply.

The figure takes off his hood. I can see that it's Sid, the man we always seem to get to fix problems on the ship. He has such a 20th century view of things.

"The bugs have gone, now, mate." he tells me, "This industrial strength bug remover will ensure they don't come back for a long time. You must have beamed a few up on one of your Away missions."

"Is the spray safe, Sid." I ask.

"Not if you're a bug, mate." he replies, "Har, har, har! Well it might give you a few orange blotches for a day or so, but aside from that, it's harmless."

Why is it Sid's sense of humour and style scares me so much?


Author's note:

You can see an interview with myself at Blog Interviewer.Com While you are there, you can vote for your favourite blog for the month (cough, cough!)


The Curmudgeon said...

I have voted, sir. Interesting site.

Nice to see Sid again.

Hope you didn't inhale any fumes....

Lansy said...

Bug attacked! lol Why are bugs everywhere!

squirrel said...

I liked your interview but it wouldn't let me vote!

Barbara said...

Jean Luc called the Orkin man? I voted for you.

HollyGL said...

Orange blotches! eeeew! :P

On my way to Blog ;)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Bug attacks and orange blotches! Oh my!

Lavender said...

But...are they sure they were just bugs???
And... how orange are these blotches?

LOL! Cute story Captain!

Adventures In Waitressing said...

Cute story.. well done as always.

Linda said...

Ewww ... bugs!

I went by and voted as well as left a comment. Very nice!

Flik Sivrak said...

You're lucky they weren't killiks...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Private Hudson said...

Bugs? Yech, I hate bugs, man!

November Rain said...

orange blotches (so is the crew going to turn into oompa loompa's?

I voted

Anonymous said...

yes I am not particularly fond of bugs either

Anonymous said...

Sid sounds like a good guy

mrsmogul said...

COOL! I will vote!

Awareness said...

Big orange blotches.........ick.....but better than a bug infestation!

Michele says hi

Heather said...

Michele sent me.
Nice touch on the bug story with the orange blotches. You know, I used to wonder about rats on a would they get rid of unwanted travellers on the starships?
Have a happy Friday!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

No one seems to like bugs very much!

Heather, unwanted travellers are usually put in the airlock!

Novy, I hope there won't be any Oompa Loompas around.

Thanks for all those who voted; sorry it wouldn't let you do it, Squirrel.

Novy, Linda, Adventurresinwaitressing, thanks for those super comments in the vote as well.

Becky68 said...

Bugs on the starship? What next? Hope the orange blotches don't itch- It's making me itchy just thinking about it!
Here from Micheles today.

barbie2be said...

i hate bugs.

michele sent me.

Mike Davis said...

Star Bugs? Now that's Red Dwarf, not Star Trek!

Hi , Michele sent me!

Titania Starlight said...

Bugs will be around for eternity.

I stopped by the blog interview and gave you a thumbs up. :o)

Mr. Althouse said...

I need to get that guy to beam into my backyard.

Michele sent me,


Amanda said...

I think I need Sid over at my house in Palembang for the never ending bugs!

eastcoastlife said...

Oh no! Bugs!! Yucky.

I can't vote because the page wouldn't load. I'll come back.

ZoeyBella said...

I can't really think of anything creative to say... at least nothing worthy of the Capt. of the Enterprise. So I'll just sum it up with "I've enjoyed your blog for a while now, so I figured I'd finally comment on it. Keep up the great work."

starlily said...

This is fun! I voted 4 u...

Anonymous said...

Wow, kinda makes me want to be an exterminator.

Neat story, well written.

Michele sent me.

Flik Sivrak said...

Of course no one likes bugs...apart from maybe Gands and Verpines...they're ok...

Fleas are bugs and are a menace!

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