Monday, August 06, 2007

Seven Of Nine Dates Reg Barclay (Part One)

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

The Borg Queen has instructed that in my learning of human behaviour I must interact with them more, rather than being a separate being on the ship.

"You must have a relationship with one of them." she tells me, "In order to truly understand human knowledge and how weak they are."

This was somewhat difficult, as I encounter a reluctance to go on what humans call 'a date'.

Naturally, I tried Locutus first, but Crusher soon strode in, telling me she would undo every nut and bolt of my body if I came near the Captain again.

She's already down for the front of the Assimilation Chamber queue.

I encounter a similar hostility from others. Data sounded the most interesting. With his positronic brain and cybernetic construction, he would be a perfect match in a Borg Dating Agency.

Jennifer Baxter soon strode up to me.

"Listen right now, Seven!" she shouts at me angrily, "No one is taking my Data away from me. You'll be on the Borg scrapheap so fast, it'll make your implants spin."

She is Number Two in the queue, right behind Crusher.

Starting to despair a little at my lack of success, I encounter Lieutenant Barclay in the corridor.

"Lieutentant Reginald Endicott Barclay III" I announce, "I am Seven Of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01. You and I shall go on a date, and start a relationship together."

"Err...ummmm." Barclay starts, "That is, err..."

"Good." I say with satisfaction, "Then it is settled. You and I shall visit The Sands holographic nightclub on our first date. I shall address you as 'Reg Barclay', you may call me 'Seven'."

"Err....ahh...well, all right then...errr Seven." replies Barclay.

I stride off, very satisfied, leaving Barclay staring into nothingness for some reason.

I must have had a devastating impact on him.

To be continued...

Author's Note:

Apologies for the lateness of this post; my ISP was disconnected, and it took a day to be repaired. As a result, Part Two will be on Weddnesday, with the next post being the TWQ on Saturday.


Jaime said...

Yikes! Poor Reg. Alert Counselor Troi to clear her schedule!

susan said...

Reg and Seven, the mind boggles, I think Troi ought to ship in a few more counsellors as well as herself!

Titania Starlight said...

Poor Reggie. I truly feel sorry for him. He must feel like a deer stunned in front of an oncoming train.

Bilbo said...

Now THIS ought to be interesting! I can't wait for the rest of the story!

M. C. Pearson said...

Heh, too funny. Love the line up for assimilation. LOL. Reg is perfect for Seven.

Lansy said...

LoL. Seven of Nine should start a project: to analyse human male behavior when dating. To make it hot, she can limit them to 7 only. Just taking 7 volunteers. :D

wait for part two.

Linda said...

I'm quite surprised that Seven didn't hit on Lt. Worf as he is a male of great prowess, strength, and that certain 'rowr" quality! But, I guess you take what you can get and if the best Seven can do is Reg Barclay then I better the both of them!

Looking forward to part two!

HollyGL said...

I like the way Seven Of Nine operates! ;)

Lavender said...

How can he resist? You know what Borg say about resistance! LOL!

Flik Sivrak said...

Poor Reg...

If he wasn't shy before, he is after this...

And Data, that doesn't bear thinking about...

Professor Xavier said...

Barcaly's going to have to toughen up if he's going to survive a close encounter with the Borg.

Erifia Apoc said...

So, what you are saying, is that I can walk up to a random man, and Coerce them into a date? Just... Saying, "You, You're coming on a date with me!"

Brillant! Brillant! Brillant!

The Curmudgeon said...

Perhaps Seven is behind your latest technical problems, Captain: She may not be ready to have her relationship with Lt. Broccoli -- er, Barkley -- disclosed....

Captain Berk said...

For the love of Starbuck, why didn't she come and see me?

I could have gladly educated her on the necessary habits.

Jen said...

It seems that would be a very unsatisfying relationship for her, given his inability to use technology effectively... I wonder how it will go?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm surprised I haven't been accused of being cruel to Reg! Seven has a very 'direct' approach.

It seems like some of the ladies admire how Seven chooses her men and orders them on dates.

Lavender, you're right about the Borg; resistance is futile.

Lansy, good project.

Captain Berk, I think Seven doesn't want someone who has a different love interest every week.

Titania, the anology is perfect!

Susan & Jaime, the is enough material for a counselor conference.

Linda, Seven couldn't get to Worf. She would have to get past Jadzia (and possibly his ex-girl Deanna as well), and the two together would be tough even for Seven.

Flik, Seven couldn't get to Data. Jennifer is a VERY tough woman.

Jane said...

I agree, I think you did have a devastating impact on him. He will never know what hit him!

slskenyon said...

Oh, brilliant. I was so sorry to see this post cut off when it did, and I can't wait for the rest of this story. "Broccoli". I will never forget that. Time to pull that episode out of the DVD sleeve.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

jean-luc i thought i'd stop in today and say howdy from podunk. i've just been watching leaves grow. seems much more exciting here!

smiles, bee

SQT said...

I can't wait to see how this turns out!

Amanda said...

Seven is actually what Barclay needs! Can't wait for Part 2!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh My! Poor Reg.

joen05 said...

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