Sunday, January 21, 2007

Plant Problems (Part One)

I am summoned to Starfleet Headquarters by the Admirals.

It looks as if the Enterprise has drawn the short straw for another dangerous mission again. I don't know why it seems to be us. Any other starship just routinely cruises the galxy with bearly a scratch, while ours seems to get patched up and sent off again with alarming regularity.

I open the doors and Admirals Costello and Abbot are there.

I wonder if they know the 'Who's On First' comedy routine.

"Ah, Captain Picardo," says Costello, "Glad you could come."

"Thank you, sir." I reply, "Actually, it's Picard."

"Whatever." Abbot tells me, "That's not important right now. However something has come up on the fauna planet Epsilon II."

"Yes," continues Costello, "We set up a base for people to live there. Everythingthing was going well until the ecology started fighting back."

"Sorry, sir?" I say with a puzzled look."

"What my colleague is referring to," Abbot tells me, "Is that giant plants, named Truffids have started to threaten the inhabitants. They are hiding in their base. The Truffids are on the march. In a few days, they will reach the base."

"We don't want to destroy them." Costello takes up the talk, "We want to have peaceful relations with the Truffids."

First Contact with a plant; whatever next? A rose bush?

"I see, sir" I reply, "Lieutenant Commander Data should have an expert knowledge of fauna life, it should be a good..."

"That's not what we want, Captain." Abbot informs me, "We want you to take a human expert along; who we have in mind knows more about plant life than anyone else."

"Who's that?" I ask.

"Send him in." Costello informs a guard. The door opens.

It's Boothby, the Head Gardener of Starfleet Academy.

"Hello sonny." he tells me, "Let's get going on this mission. I'm already packed and ready to go."

"Admiral Costello." I say hastily, "Do you think it is safe for Mr Boothby to go on this mission? After all, he is a little frail."

"Are you trying to say I'm old, sonny." Boothby barks at me, "Let me tell you, I'm sharper than anybody else in this room."

He then looks at the Admirals.

Now make sure my Academy gardens are looked after while I'm away, or you'll have to answer to me."

"Let's go, Mr Boothby" I say with impending dread, and get ready to beam up with him.

To be continued...


Professor Xavier said...

That Boothby is sure crotchety. At least you don't have take Abott and Costello with you.

Anonymous said...

If they decide to give up on peaceful contact, give me a call. All I have to do is look at a plant and it dies.

Anonymous said...

I hope Boothby can handle Abbott and Costello. I wonder what the three of them will do with a plant.

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Plants? I know how to make them go away. But you have to be a necromancer, and know how to control your magic to make a blight.

Better yet, you know what plants love? Fire. Give them lots of fire.

And Aphids. Aphids eat plants. So do vegetarians.

There you go Captain, your problem can be handled simple if these guys are as hostile as thought, become a necromancer, and light the plants on fire, and the cooked vegetables will be enjoyed by Aphids and Vegetarians.

Mykol said...

hmmmm, wonder how this is going to turn out. well, you could always take huge caterpilars to eat the p;ants and when they go into the chrisalis stage, you just take them, put them in a cargo bay, and then have a little "accident" With the door.

squirrel said...

Now, now Cpatain you'de better be nice to Boothby or you'll have to answer to the AARP. That is if he's American. Or maybe in your century they have the UARP. Universe Association of Retired Persons.

Anonymous said...

I wonder why the plants are rebelling... Maybe they need extra fertilizers? Not enough growing space?? Hmmm

Anonymous said...

Hah! Boothby could take on the entire Borg empire and kick their collective asses!!!

Don't want to be in the Admirals' shoes if the gardens at Starfleet run down.

Have fun with the truffids, are they cousins to the Triffids?

xxs and oos

Ciera said...

I was wondering if they were any relation to Tribbles... :)

I'd take along pruning shears if I were you Jean-Luc, "just in case"!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

plants fighting back. I hope that never happens here or I'd be doomed.

Ellee said...

I have every confidence in how you will cope with this, captain.

TrueJerseyGirl said...

Hm, he sounds just a litte crotchety.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Summer Dawn, I don't think Boothby would take kindly to your anti-plant solutions.

Ciera, the pruning shears might be useful.

Merlyn, Boothby might well give the Borg a few problems.

Barbara, fortunately Abbot & Costello aren't coming along...I never liked their movies!

Anonymous said...

let me bite him then you wont have to worry

Justice said...

Actually I think you will be glad to have Boothby... I bet he will be alot better than Data...

I think he is my new hero

Hot Stuff the little devil said...

LOL Jana.. I think my mom is like that

Vampirella said...

okay me and plants have this deal they leave me alone and I leave them alone

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Isn’t taking a gardener to help with first contact of a plant species, like taking a barber along for chat with Wookies?

I am not sure this is such a good idea.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

This looks like the makings of a really bad 1950's-era movie. Either that or a giant, delicious salad!

Viamarie said...

Hope gardener does justice to the plants.

Have a nice week!

Anonymous said...

hi capt. i grew a plant once. that's sadly all i know about here. smiles, bee

Anonymous said...

Like Ciera noted, or they any realtion to tribbles? If so they may be harmless but annoying. Better take some ear plugs if they start all that shrilling chattering. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Anonymous said...

Drats my errors!!!
That is suppose to be ..."Are they relation to the tribbles"?
Excuse my elmo fingers. :o)~

dragonflyfilly said...

hmmmm, i like the gladiator's idea of a giant salad...

cheers for now,

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A salad might be a further optional end for the plants.

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