Thursday, January 18, 2007

Life With Kirk (Part Three)

It is highly dangerous been a redshirt crewman in the 23rd Century on Captain Kirk's Enterprise.

Since Q took me back there, to show me how tough things were, I've had to be very careful. When we investigated events on the desolate planet of Zargon III, a fellow crewman has been killed by a mysterious blood-sucking alien. Kirk has taken an Orion Slave Girl named Thada that we have found back to the Enterprise to show her what love is.


"A blood-sucking creature, Spock?" comments Doctor McCoy, "Maybe it's a taxman? Perhaps we ought to send you? The creature might not like green Vulcan blood!"

"That is not logical, Doctor." replies Spock, "Evidence suggest that the creature will feed on all sorts of blood."

"Oh, get a sense of humour transplant, Spock!" replies McCoy, "Don't suppress it all of the time!"

I wish I had Bev and Riker with me; at least they don't squabble all the time like these two.

We look in the cave where we found Thada; at the back, we see some alien skeletons that are near a fire.

"Fascinating." comments Spock.

"Stop saying 'fascinating', you pointy-eared Vulcan." McCoy tells him, "What does it all mean?"

"It means that Thada is the mysterious alien who killed Crewman Hunter and other visitors to this planet." states Spock.

"She could have special powers," I add, "Or be a shapeshifter."

We beam up hurriedly; Captain Kirk could be killed by that creature. As I know he is supposed to last until the inauguration of the Enterprise B some years from now. We can't have the timeline disturbed.

"Where is Captain Kirk?" we ask Scotty, who is at the transporter controls.

"He says is he showing that green girl around" he replies, "And her says that he canna be disturbed while he has coffee with her in his quarters."

"Unfortunately, we must do so to save the Captain." comments Spock, "Arm yourselvers everybody."


We reach the Captain's quarters; there is a lot of noise inside.

"Spock." says McCoy, "What if you're wrong and the Captain is just pursuing his usual interests?"

"It's a risk we have to take, Doctor." he replies, as he kicks the door down.

A huge monster is towering over Kirk; it has long claws and is covered in furm like a giant grizzly bear. Kirk'd shirt is torn, and there are scratches on his chest.

We all use our phaser, and the monster disappears into nothingness.

"I guess there are some women I don't get on with." laughs Kirk, "Spock, please inform Yeoman Janice Rand that she has been re-booked for tonight."

I suddenly see a blinding flash of light.


I am back in my own quarters of the Enterprise D in the 24th Century with Q.

"Well, Jean-Luc." he asks, "Did you find it easy living in the 23rd Century?"

"Not really, Q." I reply, "I found it most enlightening, and it shows how far the Federation have come since then. Now just let me rest for the evening as I wanted to."

Q disappears at last; now I can take it easy for the night after that party.

The alarm clock goes off; it's morning already!



A Army Of (Cl)One said...

"A huge monster is towering over Kirk; it has long claws and is covered in furm like a giant grizzly bear"

And Yet if your team had not busted into Kirk's quarters, he still would have tried to teach it "what love is". That boy is more of a horndog then Denny Crane.

squirrel said...

Captain Kirk can be so dingy yet he is so overwhelmingly manly and that smile... *sigh*

Anonymous said...

A huge monster is towering over Kirk; it has long claws and is covered in furm like a giant grizzly bear. Kirk'd shirt is torn, and there are scratches on his chest.

That put me in mind of "Alexander Dane" to "Jason Nesmith" in Galaxyquest: "You always manage to get your shirt off, don't you?"

Welcome back to the 24th Century, Captain. Some day you should explain how red went from the expendable crewman color to the command uniform....

Anonymous said...

Ooooooh that Captain he didn't need any little blue pills...

Captain P. I hope that, since you are captain, you can catch a cat nap in the afternoon.

That pesky Q, he really does have a funny sense of humour doesn't he?


ps: I do find it funny that my 'special word' to type in is : wckrud

Erifia Apoc said...

Bad dreams, hopefully they all won't be bad. Especially on your birthday.

I didn't give you your birthday kisses...

When do you wan those?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I bet it was a nice visit, though. Things were definitely not as good then -- their Enterprise shook and rattled whenver they went into high warp, the thing rattled and threw sparks whenever they were hit, and there was no tea sipping in the ready room. At least you got to see how the "other half" lived.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Whenver is supposed to be whenever, I suppose you know that, though.

Anonymous said...

I concur with Squirrel. :o)~

Professor Xavier said...

So why did Star Fleet change the color of the Captain's shirt? What did the Reds do to go from cannon fodder to Captain?

Anonymous said...

I bet you are glad to be back. Now that it's morning it's time for your Earl Grey, black.

Lahdeedah said...

If the alien princesses aren't killing him, they are dying on him.

And red became the command color because they discovered very few people actually look good in khaki tan.

Hot Stuff the little devil said...

Did you ever find out what Kirk's secret was?

The Grim Reaper said...

Oh my sounds like a Vampire/werebear hybrid...

Perhaps the torn shirt and scratches was how kirk shows love?

Anonymous said...

I like you better than Captain Kirk. :)

Gopher said...

Welcome back captian..
Yeah did notice that it was tan for officers and red for pretty much everyone else apart from "bones" who got to wear a fetching shade of blue. That Q is a pesky fellow isn't he.. Some times I do wish he'd just disappear up his on continum.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think the redshirts must have demanded that it be a Command colour, rather than cannon-fodder.

Merlyn, I like your special word. I've had a few funny ones myself.

Erifia, I can't turn down an invite like that. As long as Bev isn't looking.

Anonymous said...

They did everything but put targets on those red shirts huh?

Here from Michele's.

NetChick said...

Haven't been here in a while JLP! Thanks for the continuing entertainment!

Here from Michele's today!

pads said...

Glad your back captain it was nice to take a visit with you to kirks enterprise, the only draw back is kirk always has to kiss everyone, was very glad he didn't try to kiss you lol.

LOve pads

Anonymous said...

your imagination never fails to amaze...

Ellee said...

Can I suggest you change your red shirts to blue?

Anonymous said...

hello captain! how is life here? all is well in my world.... la la la la la, smiles, bee

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Pads, I'm glad he didn't, either.

Ellee, I agree; blue shirts would be a lot better!

Anonymous said...

That pesky Q! Can't his mother keep him from misbehaving? Kind of like the Futurama version with the large cloud :0)

Anonymous said...

Oops -forgot to say that Michele sent me back.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you survived the 23rd century, Captain! Nice to know Q is still around! :-)

(and a happy birthday to Dr. McCoy today)

Anonymous said...

Nasty Q, but he dose things like that a lot come to think of it!

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