Thursday, November 09, 2006

Journey To Wondawowman (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

This situation was ridiculous; no one was taking my Wes away from me!

We are here on the planet Wondawowman, and Queen Diana has told Jean-Luc, Deanna and Wes that her daughter Karena, who is a Cadet in the Academy, wants my son as a Life Servant, but her other daughter Nexa has expressed an interest and wants to duel Karena for Wes.


"What do we do, Jean-Luc?" I ask him, "We can't this happen to Wes."

"The trouble is, Beverly" he replies, "Is the diplomatic wrangles it would cause between the Federation and the Amazonian world of Wondawowman. We have to tread carefully."

"Mom!" shouts Wes, "I don't want to be a Life Servant!"

"I won't let you, sweetheart." I call back.

Deanna talks to us.

"Perhaps there are a number of options we can take if we ask the Queen? Perhaps I'd better ask, Captain, as she tends not to be fond of men."

Jean-Luc grudgingly agrees.

She goes forward and consults with the Queen. After a while, she stands from her throne.

"Counselor Troi speaks wisely. As Beverly Crusher is Wesley's mother, she will have to have the right of seeing her, regardess of the victory." declares the Queen, "My daughters may not injure each other, but one shall be declared the victor. Karena is too young to have a Life Servant, he may serve Karena as long as he is in the Academy. Should Karena wish him to be a Servant afterwards, the matter will be reviewed."

That sounds like a big concession.

"However." she continues, "Should Nexa win, she will claim Wesley now"

I think I spoke too soon; now I find myself backing Karena.

Nexa steps forward. She looks like a top champion with a huge sword. I'm staying well clear. I tthink the rest of us are doing the same.

"Karena, my sister" declares Nexa, "It is time for our duel, "Wesley pleases me, and appears to have much potential as a Life Servant."

"You shall not have him, sister." replies Karena, "Come forth and oppose me."

Jean-Luc is having a stress pill; he doesn't like getting caught up in these sort of incidents. Neither do any of us, and Deanna, Wes and myself have one as well.

Karena gets a large pole and begins to hit Nexa with it as she tries to get near with her sword; a few swift manouvres, and Karena gets a scratch on her arm.

That's worried us.

"So, my sister, Nexa" she says, "You would harm your own flesh and blood to get what you want?"

"Indeed I would, Karena." replies Nexa, "I want Wesley as my Life Servant."

As Nexa talks, Karena swiftly moves in, knocks the sword of Nexa to the ground, and then her sister along with it. As Nexa lies strewn on the arena floor, Karena declares victory.

"All your talking defeated you, sister." declares Karena with a smile, "Do not challenge me again."

Nexa angrily gets up.

"Wesley will be mine one day" she tells Karena, "This is not over, my sister."

She stalks off, and Karena comes back to us.

"Well done, Karena." I say to her.

"Thank you." she replies, "We need to return to the Enterprise and back to the Academy as soon as possible."

"What's the hurry, Cadet?" asks Jean-Luc.

"Wesley has lots of ironing to do" she tells us, "Plus he has to cook a victory dinner for me and my friends. Come on, Wesley."

I sigh., as I see poor Wesley trudging off.

I thought he had got out of being a Life Servant?


Erifia Apoc said...

Sounds like an Amazonian Marriage to me.

It could be worse...

An Amazon woman will protect you Wes... She'll beat the snot out of the borg.

TX said...

I doubt that she could beat a Borg...

Perhaps you can inform the Amazon that Wes has been arranged to Marry a borg female

to have Wes she must seek out this Borg alone then again if she gets assimulated she could be worse

The Curmudgeon said...

Dr. Crusher asks, "I thought he had got out of being a Life Servant?

No, there's only one way out for Wesley. I'll leave a fully charged phaser in his room and he can do the honorable thing. Or he can iron.

But Wesley won't do what needs doing, will he, Captain?

Private Hudson said...

Wesley, I'm going to have to question you masculinity here. What kind of a man lets a chick order him around like that? You should be manly like me.

Maybe I should write a book or something.

Mother Jones RN said...

Wesley my dear, there is nothing unmanly about being obedient. My husband makes me happy when he does what I ask, and when I'm happy, he's happy *wink.*

A smart man chooses his battles wisely.


Squirrel said...

I agree with Mother Jones!

Darth Nepharia said...

Oh man, I'm not going to touch this one with a ten foot light sabre.

Barriss Offee said...

I'm with you Darth Nepharia! However I think it's for the best that it be about 50 foot or longer light sabre.

Lahdeedah said...

I think Weslely secretly enjoys it all.

I mean, what guy wouldn't want a gal that can beat up all the mean starfleet cadets that tease him?

Ellee said...

Could I have one of those stress pills please? I also think Wesley is enjoying the attention too.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Poor Wes! Whereas it's lovely to have a man help out a bit, he's a bit, erm...whipped already so to speak

Poor boy.

Professor Xavier said...

Aha! Wesley gets what he deserves.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You may be right; perhaps Wes does enjoy being told what to do by an Amazonian?

Mother Jones, your words may be wise here; otherwise he might eventually go with Curmugeon's advice.

Thumper said...

Leave it to me to jump into part three... off to read parts one and two.

Here via Michele today :)

Paige said...

Hey came by way of Michele's today. How ya doing Jean?
Happy weekend to you & all your peeps

Anonymous said...

can i have wesley when karena is done with him?

michele sent me.

rashbre said...

The stress pills sound interesting. And everyone seems to be having them. Wesley needs to discover insta laundry, you spray it on clothes and they clean and reform to newly pressed.

And Hello, today Michele sent me.


Uisce said...

Hello Michele sent me, and I'm glad she did! If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me... well, I sure wouldn't have to surf blogs for a living anymore, would I? ;)

Prego said...

poor emasculed wesley. i was wondering what happened to him after the princess bride.


here via michele today.

Prego said...


Jim McKee said...

We have stress pills, too... they're called 'vicodin'.


M. C. Pearson said...

ROTFLOL...very good Jean-Luc!

Jaime H. said...


Maybe Wesley can go AWOL, although I rather like the phaser idea better. 10-to-1 he'll choose to iron, though.

Anonymous said...

that's hilarous! Great three poster!

Good thing karena doesn't know Wes is leaving.... couldn't imagine her anger when he leaves with that traveler guy... hee hee

~wyn ^_^

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