Sunday, November 12, 2006

Advertising

I've heard some ridiculous things, but this has got to top everything.

Starfleet has told us that our personal journals are costing too much to maintain, and the only way to sustain them is to introduce advertising.

For the best clothing, don't forget to go to 'Ferengi Furs'.

The trouble is, these are likely to appear anywhere and will upset the flow of any entries For the right time, go to 'Klingon Klocks' we make. However are we supposed to read them back later on?

I talk to Riker about the situation.

"I agree it's annoying." he says, "But I did see a great advertisement pop up on mine for a new sort of donut. I ordered some right away."

I groan.

For the best weapons, see Ak'ra. All sorts of death-inducing weapons and shields for your protection.

"Deanna saw something she liked as well" he continued, "She was composing her Journal and Supacool Ice Cream came up; she went out and ordered a vat right away."

Is everyone falling for this advertisement business; it could Don't forget the annual Starfleet vs Klingons soccer match is on Galactic tv tomorrow night at 7pm! destabilise the entire Federation.

Surely Data isn't prone to these? I go to ask him.

"Naturally I am aware that all advertising is exagerrated, Captain." he starts, "And would not buy something because they said it was very excellent."

"That's good to know, Data." I reply.

"However" he adds, "In my Journal, there was news of Alana's Android Skin Cleaning Lotion. I had to have some of that."

Has everyone gone mad? They are buying all the useless materials they see advertised.

Do you want some jewelry for your sweetheart? Go to Javana's Jewels for the very best in town.

That sounds good; I wonder if Beverly would like something from there for Christmas?

Now I'm starting to think like the others! Is there something wrong with the advertisements? I decide to consult Admiral Poindexter, the man responsible for putting them on the Journals.

When I see him on the videoscreen, he is wearing a weird trendy outfit. I ask him why.

"Well, Captain" he says, "There was this great advert from With-it Fashions that popped up on my Journal. It just looked so good."

"It seems like someone has been using the advertisements in a hypnotic way, Admiral." I tell him. "Even android Data has become infected."

Get your office redecorated with OfficeSupreme!

Poindexter returns.

"You're right, Captain!" he says alarmingly, "Someone has put subliminal programming in the adverts. They are so powerful, even Data can be infected. I'll get the adverts closed down right away."

What a relief those adverts are off. Now I can write my Journal in peace.

I think my office needs redecorated. I wonder if OfficeSupreme could help?

22 comments:

Barbara said...

This made me laugh, thanks Jean-Luc

Jon Cox said...

Hahahahaha!!!! :o)

Professor Xavier said...

Damn those greedy bureaucrats. Instead of using advertising, they should just pay for all of those meals they comp to their Star Fleet account. That would probably take care of the budget shortfall.

Nicole said...

Oh no! Not you too!

Lahdeedah said...

I can't believe all that horrible subliminal... Buy my house in Washington... mind-altering adverts you are forced to put in your journal!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

It's always good to have a laugh on a dismal Monday morning :)

The Curmudgeon said...

I'm so glad you *pre-order your Curmudgeon hoodies and sweats, yours for the holidays from "Second Effort"* put your foot down on this, Jean-Luc. I thought the 24th Century had progressed *Well, have you ordered yet? Have you?* beyond the need for money.

TX said...

Um exactly where was that skin cleaner? maybe they have something for Cyborgs

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I tried that android skin lotion, it didn't do much for me.

Except for the rash and constant itching.

Squirrel said...

Once again a fab journal post, Captain. Well it's a little chilly in here, i'm off to buy a Ferengi Furs! Wait i'm a Squirrel! I already have a fur, that IS some seriously good subliminal messaging!

Jen said...

Ooh, witty social commentary! I love it!

Paperback Writer said...

DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!

Bob-kat said...

That made me laugh out loud! I love the idea of Riker ordering donuts :0)

Mother Jones RN said...

Subliminal messages are irritating, but they aren’t as annoying as telemarketers.

dragonflyfilly said...

i have a knack for just plain tuning out advertising...unless it is clever, and fortunately most ads are deadly dull!
...now free samples on the other hand....

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Thank goodness I wasn't affected bi the advertising. I'll just have to put my order in for a new office from 'OfficeSupreme'.

Erifia Apoc said...

Subliminal and Obvious -Come to Erifia's Blog- advertising. I wonder if -She has cookies and a sidekick or two- it actually works. You know I'- Or if you like the dark side or young people she has that too-ve always wanted to try that out. Just to see-Erifia Apoc for President-if it works.

Anonymous said...

wow spam gets very high tech....I hope that this never comes to the Empire, I can only imagine the work I will have if Lord Vader sees such ads....
especially for armour polish!

Viamarie said...

Just dropping by to say hello. Have not been visiting lately due to pressures at work.

God Bless!

Ellee said...

I missed your last two posts too because my computer did not update them, I thought funny, no more space adventures, then refreshed and caught up on your latest news.

Carmi said...

You always make me smile, Captain, even when the weight of the world threatens to keep me in permanent-frown state. Thanks!

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