I've heard some ridiculous things, but this has got to top everything.
Starfleet has told us that our personal journals are costing too much to maintain, and the only way to sustain them is to introduce advertising.
For the best clothing, don't forget to go to 'Ferengi Furs'.
The trouble is, these are likely to appear anywhere and will upset the flow of any entries For the right time, go to 'Klingon Klocks' we make. However are we supposed to read them back later on?
I talk to Riker about the situation.
"I agree it's annoying." he says, "But I did see a great advertisement pop up on mine for a new sort of donut. I ordered some right away."
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"Deanna saw something she liked as well" he continued, "She was composing her Journal and Supacool Ice Cream came up; she went out and ordered a vat right away."
Is everyone falling for this advertisement business; it could Don't forget the annual Starfleet vs Klingons soccer match is on Galactic tv tomorrow night at 7pm! destabilise the entire Federation.
Surely Data isn't prone to these? I go to ask him.
"Naturally I am aware that all advertising is exagerrated, Captain." he starts, "And would not buy something because they said it was very excellent."
"That's good to know, Data." I reply.
"However" he adds, "In my Journal, there was news of Alana's Android Skin Cleaning Lotion. I had to have some of that."
Has everyone gone mad? They are buying all the useless materials they see advertised.
Do you want some jewelry for your sweetheart? Go to Javana's Jewels for the very best in town.
That sounds good; I wonder if Beverly would like something from there for Christmas?
Now I'm starting to think like the others! Is there something wrong with the advertisements? I decide to consult Admiral Poindexter, the man responsible for putting them on the Journals.
When I see him on the videoscreen, he is wearing a weird trendy outfit. I ask him why.
"Well, Captain" he says, "There was this great advert from With-it Fashions that popped up on my Journal. It just looked so good."
"It seems like someone has been using the advertisements in a hypnotic way, Admiral." I tell him. "Even android Data has become infected."
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"You're right, Captain!" he says alarmingly, "Someone has put subliminal programming in the adverts. They are so powerful, even Data can be infected. I'll get the adverts closed down right away."
What a relief those adverts are off. Now I can write my Journal in peace.
I think my office needs redecorated. I wonder if OfficeSupreme could help?