Sunday, November 05, 2006

Journey To Wondawowman (Part One)



It's very hard doing the housework for two people.

Ever since Karena, the Amazon from the planet Wondawowman has joined Starfleet Academy, I have had to virtually be her slave and do all the work.

The officials at the Academy have ordered me to look after her, and get her used to life here, as she is a new Cadet, and also a Princess on the planet she is from.

Somehow, I can't help feeling that it is just to keep me occupied.

I haven't been able to save the Academy from burning down so often as I used to, althpough I must admit it hasn't actually done this. Though I used to like to experiment with the gelignite in chemistry lessons, Karena just gives me a prod with her spear and say, "Come on, Wesley, you have some of my washing to do."

In the evening, she will go out with her friends while I do all the ironing and the cleaning. Why the Academy can't have everything on automatic I don't know. It's like the dark ages in the 22nd Century here.

Things have been a little odd, lately; Karena has been eyeing me and thinking.

"What are you doing, Karena?" I ask.

"Nothing" she replies, "Just get on with polishing; I have friends round tonight; I can't let them see what a scruffy place. When you've done, go hide yourself in your bedroom, and don't come out until they've gone."

"Why?" I ask her, "Are you ashamed of me?"

"You're a man" Karena tells me, "That should tell you enough. It is a woman's meeting."

--------------------

After the meeting, Karena approaches me.

"I've had a talk with the other women," she informs me, "And also with my mother, the Queen of Wondawowman via videolink. You are to come with me to my home planet. Ask your mother, Beverly Crusher to get the Enterprise to take us."

"Captain Picard might not agree." I reply, "He's a busy man."

"He's just a man!" Karena says, with an exasperated air, "Tell your mother to have the Enterprise ready to pick us up in two days."

I sigh.

--------------------

Not long after, I am on the monitor to my mother. I tell her the situation.

"Wes!" she says, "Karena can't order the Enterprise to pick you and her up just on a sudden whim. It has important missions."

"I know, Mom" I reply, "But when I mentioned it to Starfleet, they said that as she was an alien Princess, we should try and help her as much as possible."

A few moments later, Captain Picard comes on the monitor; I can't help feeling he has an irritated air about him. Maybe I am mistaken?

"Starfleet authority has ordered the Enterprise to pick you and Karena up" he says with an annoyed tone, "Have you any idea why she wants to go to her home planet now?"

"No, Captain." I reply, "She won't say."

"Very well, we'll pick you up in two days." he informs me, "While you're on the ship, try not to touch anything."

I wonder why he says that? Strangely, the tutors at the Academy are always telling me the same thing.

To be continued...

15 comments:

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Well, I will be intersted to know if in fact anything is missing on the ship, let alone touched.

Anonymous said...

poor Wes...
I know he's a geek but even he doesn't deserve all this...

hope your weekend was great our was... we were away :)

cheers
merly

Ellee said...

Those women really give you a tough time, you must stand up for yourself more.

The Curmudgeon said...

If Wes doesn't touch something, won't you lose your most likely plot lines?

Or... oh my!.... does Karena have some designs on Wes? Yikes!

Squirrel said...

I want one of those spears. It would come in handy when trying to get my teenager to do his laundry and the little one to pick up his toys...

Me thinks Karena maybe wanting to get married?

Dirk_Star said...

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Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Listen to your girlfriend, Wes. You'll stay out of trouble that way.

mrsmogul said...

Maybe if he touched something he'll turn into ET?

BTW, do you have the telegraph today? I'm supposed to be in the expat section. they say the article will be online tuesday but curious to know if it was printed today.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

that don't touch anything warning is bound to come back and bite someone on the bum

Jaime H. said...

I sense impending doom. Perhaps the princess will take a liking to Worf. *snicker at the sudden mental image*

SQT said...

I think the impending doom will happen when Wesley touches the Princess.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wesley, I think it's time that you learn the Wondawoman national anthem:

Wondawowman , Wondawowman.
All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.

In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.

Wondawowman, Wondawowman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.

Make a hawk a dove,
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth.

Wondawowman,
Get us out from under, Wondawowman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do.

Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fall,
Change their minds, and change the world.

Wondawowman, Wondawowman.
You're a wonder, Wondawowman.

Trinity13 said...

I agree with Squirrel...I think there might be a marriage soon!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Poor Wes...it does make me laugh!

Jon, thanks for the Wondawowman National Anthem...super!

Mrs M, I could see nothing in the Online version of the Telegraph relating to you.

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