Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Captain Beverly (Part Two)



I love being the Captain of the Enterprise, especially when I give men some derogatory jobs!

That's what I've just done with the three that have come aboard the ship just now.

The nerve of them! Coming in Starfleet Command uniforms. Everyone knows that these are for woman only, and that men are Ensigns at the highest, otherwise they are expendable. The sort we send out to investigate a new planet. They usually never come back. Still, what does it matter? They're only men, after all!

I must admit, these three that came on just after the ion storm intrigued me. One called himself 'Captain' Jean-Luc Picard, another was 'Commander' Riker and the third was an android named 'Lieutenant' Commander Data. They claimed they were from another universe; a typical male trick there.

The one called 'Picard' interested me, somewhat. Rather than giving him a dull job, I might keep him as my pet.

The Federation Female Empire has been growing over the past few hundred years; we soon put paid to those Klingons who objected to women being in control. Every planet we have is now run as a matrichial society.

Here on the Enterprise, we have the finest group of women in Starfleet, so it's little wonder we are the flagship of the fleet. My loyal commander, Deanna, is there to back me up when we get a problem. Seven sorts out unwelcome visitors as head of Security. Jadzia is the Chief Engineer. Jennifer Baxter is Lieutenant Commander, and Trisha Lewis is the Doctor. Karena, the Amazon from Wondawowman is the Counselor, but I think I'll need to work on her skills with patients. All she tends to say is "Get a life!"

I'm looking in my videolog; there is an incoming message from my old friend The Borg Queen; she asks if I am free to have dinner with her next week on the Cube. As she came last month, it is her turn to invite. She was really pleased with our society when we first met, and so asked if she could let Seven stay with us. I was really happy.

All of us women of got to stay together. You never know when men might start getting uppity and want more than what we give them. They ought to be grateful that we let them do these jobs like cleaning out tubes; something no self-respecting woman would do.

"Ion storm cloud still nearby, Captain." says Jennifer.

"Keep clear of it, Lieutenant Commander." I reply to her.

Now where was I? My train of thought has stopped; oh yes.

One thing I do worry about is there are rumours of uprising. Some women are starting to side with men into overthrowing our female society.

Doesn't that sound appalling? Men and women working together? The very thought makes me lose my appetite.

Anyway, time to close this particular entry. If I adopt Picard as a pet, I might let Deanna have Riker as a present. She has been working hard lately.

To be continued...

24 comments:

Jaime said...

LOL! So does Wesley exist in this universe, or will someone else have to come save the day?

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for the men on your starship, it sounds like you have a great female crew, glad to hear they are running a tight ship!

The Curmudgeon said...

I think Beverly *slap, uh, Captain Howard had better watch that ion storm cloud a bit more carefully....

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Well, you know what can happen when women are in charge!!!

Sending you all the best of wishes.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

huh? us southerners don't get this starship stuff... we need a galactic to hillbilly dictionary i guess......thanks for the visit

(smile)

bee

pads said...

Its amazing what one tiny ion storm can do, it can totally change reality. Theres life Jim but not as we know it lol. I don't see why women shouldn't be starfleet captains though, Captain Janeway did a good job, but captain Beverly seems to be going over the top.

Hope you get out of this one captain.

Love pads

pilgrimchick said...

Props to Beverly. I hope the Borg Queen can fit her in. It's kind of a toss up between Picard and Livingston the fish as to who would be the best pet, though. Beverly should weigh her options carefully on that one.

UngaMan said...

errm... eeem.. uuuh... ammm... well...
hope Ensign Picard find a way out...

Professor Xavier said...

A woman Captain? I bet she flies around with the blinker on.

Lahdeedah said...

So I bet Wesley makes his Amazon a nice pet.

And as long as we're giving out pets, I'd like Data.

This fem-rule universe rocks! Though I think I could only visit for a bit. I mean eventually, you'd miss men being equal and expressing their opinions and umm... never mind.

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Amazing. This is how the universe would run.

Nepharia said...

So what HAVE you done with your son? Is he such an embarrassment that you have tucked him away somehwere? Hmmm.

But that Picard guy is kinda cute -- and smart! What a sense of humor he has. I can understand why you would want to make him a special pet. But proceed with caution, he may be smarter than you think.

Anonymous said...

oh my goodness Captain, if she keeps you as a pet will you have to wear a collar and a leash???

eep!

Though I dare say you could use your masculine whiles on her and get your way...

-merly

Sleepless Mama said...

I'm curious, Captain Howard. What will you do with the android? Could you not deem him sexless and thereby utilize his positronic brain more efficiently without compromising your societal mores?

Anonymous said...

Wow, can't wait to see how this unfolds. I wonder if they'll meet themselves in this other universe.

Florence Forrest said...

LOL, very funny, liked the tie in of Karena, the Amazon from Wondawowmen :D

As to Data, as I recall he is fully functional....

xx

Trinity13 said...

I'm sure the Capt would love to be the pet of such a powerful woman!

Osquer said...

Well, Professor Xavier, I knew someone would make a women drivers joke.

As long as we're all claiming pets, can I have Barclay? Like I said before, I've got a thing for the puppy-who's-been-kicked-too-many-times type. Besides, if you want someone who's subservient...

Hey, as an Orion Slave Girl, wouldn't that make me an automatic admiral in this universe? ;-p

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Everybody seems to be keen on keeping pets!

Somehow, I don't think Captain Howard has a son; that's one good thing about that universe.

Osquer, as an Orion Slave Girl, you would indeed get a high ranking.

Trin, maybe I would!

Florence, the phrase 'fully functional' is a great one!

Merlyn, you might be right.

Ellee, you're right; Captain Howard is a tough Captain.

Lahdeedah, I think I know what you mean.

Nic said...

Wow, who knew Bev could sound like such a snot in an alternate universe?! Very interested to see how this turns out - and if you like being a "kept" man. LOL!

Professor Xavier said...

My dearest Osquer, I certainly meant no offense to the handful of women out there who are quite adequate drivers. I was merely speaking of the vast majority who regularly defy the conventions of the road. Of course as an Orion slave girl, you can be my admiral any day. ;-)


Yours,
- Prof X.

RagDoll said...

Just drifting by after a long absence. WOW! *Grabs popcorn* =) Happy Wednsday, All!

Becca the Magnificant said...

I don't know about all this, aren't men a good thing?

Florence Forrest said...

Captain, I thought so too, but they are Data's words not mine. I believe he goes on to list the number of techniques he is programmed for...and the number was not small ;)

xx