Monday, July 12, 2010

The Stalker (Part Three)

I've been kidnapped by a mad woman named Valerie, who is obsessed about me.

We decided to meet in a cafe so I could perhaps reason with her, but despite Worf's security forces, Jennifer's multiphase disruptor and Britney's umbrella, she quickly held my hand, typed a series if numbers into her bracelet, which made the two of us beam out and reappear somewhere else.


While I am still somewhat dazed, evidentally from the effects of the drink, Valerie quickly puts me in the rear of her little cargo ship and switches the force field on.

Like any idiot who has to see if a 'wet paint' sign is still relevant, I test the force field and for my trouble, I get a massive electrical shock, which shoots me back.

"Don't touch the force field, my love." calls out Valerie, who tells me she is just setting the ship on auto pilot, and will be with me shortly.

I suddenly notice nearby a suit.

"What's this suit for, Valerie?"

She walks in and looks at it. "I would have thought that was obvious, my darling." she says, "I made a lot of enquiries as to your size, and know that it fits you."

"But's it's a groom's outfit!" I protest.

"Of course it is, sweetheart." Valerie tells me, "I have my wedding dress hidden away on the ship. Naturally, I can't let you see it until the ceremony, which will be very soon. You know how unlucky it is for a groom to see a bride's dress before."

Right now it seems like I'm not having a lot of luck.

"But, Valerie." I protest, "We can't get married. I don't love you."

"Well then you'll have to LEARN to love me!" she says angrily, "If you try and get away, I'll kill you."

So much for the loving bride!

"It won't be long." she continues, "The banns were announced at the Elvis Galactic Chapel, which is where we are heading right now."

Valerie skips off, trilling Here comes the bride, while I look like I've got my last hours of freedom.

To be continued......


The Curmudgeon said...

I suppose 'best wishes for the happy couple' isn't the comment you most want right about now, Jean-Luc, but it looks like you don't have much choice. If you get away Britney may have some advice for you on how to get the marriage annulled.

Glad to hear that Elvis is still with you in the 24th Century.

dizi izle said...

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yah┼či cazibe said...


Linda said...

Uh-huh, I step away from the Blogosphere for a couple of days and you've gone and got yourself into another fine mess. Seriously, Jean-Luc, sometimes I wonder how you ever became the Captain of a starship!

Well, let's see how you manage to get out of this one because if you don't there will be hell to pay when Bev finds out you've walked down the aisle with someone else - even if it was at phaser-point!

Michael Manning said...

The odds appear to be stacked against her!

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