Monday, July 19, 2010

The Stalker (Part Five)

Things are looking pretty bleak right now.

I've been kidnapped by the redheaded stalker Valerie, who is so obsessed with me, she is taking us to the Elvis Galactic Chapel on Vegas VII to be married. Naturally, I have no say in the matter. I just hope those in the Enterprise can find some way of tracking me down.

-------------

As we land on Vegas VII, Valerie turns to me.

"Get your groom's outfit on, Jean-Luc." she tells me, "The minister is waiting for us. I'll put my wedding dress on on now. Aren't you excited! Soon we'll be husband and wife!"

She goes happily into the other roon. Reluctantly I put my outfit on while still behind the forcefield. I know that Valerie is so warped she could easily disintegrate me with one of her weapons.

Talk about a shotgun wedding!

Valerie comes out again.



"Isn't this simply ravishing!" gushes Valerie, "I love this dress, and you look so masculine in your outfit. We'll make a perfect couple."

While I do concede she has chosen a good dress, I still don't marry this crazy lady.

The two of us leave her ship, Valerie carrying a bridal bouquet, plus a small disintegrator in case I do anything out of line.

We see the Elvis Galactic Chapel in the distance.

"Let's go and meet the minister." Valerie tells me as she pushes me along. We go through the doors, wehich are festooned with images of an Elvis lookalike marrying off couples.

"Hello, minister!" Valerie cheerily says.



"You look a mighty fine cute couple."  the minister tells us, "You can call me Elvis."

"Sure, Elvis." Valerie giggles.

"Let's get the ceremony underway." says Elvis, "The winesses and the band are right this way."

A few moments later, Valerie and I are standing in front of the altar.

"Ladies and gentleman." announces Elvis, "We are here to witness the wedding of Valerie To Jean-Luc Picard."

He then lapses into song, and sings I Can't Help Fallng In Love With You.

Wise men say

Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you


Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you


Shall I stay
Would it be a sin?
That I can't help falling in love with you


As a river flows gently to the sea
Darling So it goes
Some things were meant to be

Take My hand
Take my whole life too
For I can't Help falling in love with you

As a river flows gently to the sea
Darlin So it goes
Some things are meant to be

Take Myyyyy hand
Take my whole life too
For I can't Help falling in love with you


For I can't help falling in love With you
For I can't help Falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love With you
For I can't help Falling in love with you.

"Quit the singing and get on with the marriage ceremony, Elvis!" shouts Valerie.
 
"But I've got a dozen songs to do." Elvis protests.
 
"Well can them!" she orders, then looks to me, "I can't wait for our wedding night, darling. It'll be in a few short hours."
 
Personally, I'd rather Elvis had gone through a few more songs!
 
To be continued...

10 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

Elvis looks a lot better than the Strolling Drones. I just knew he wasn't dead -- he just left the last century.....

Michael Manning said...

Captain: If you're able to read this away from Valerie's prying eyes, I think I found a loophole. That photo looks like Curt Russell impersonating Elvis. If so, you might be entitled to a Galactic Annulment! :D)

Michael Manning said...

Make that...Kurt Russel!

Linda said...

Well heck, I was hoping you'd walk in to find Data playing the role of Elvis while the other members of the Enterprise were the witnesses. Data does sing a pretty good tune if I remember correctly!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Data playing Elvis? Somehow, Linda, I just can't see it!

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