I'm being stalked.
Firstly I had an innocent-looking message on the computer from a striking-looking young woman named Valerie, saying she wanted to meet me for company. I let her down gently, saying that I was with Bev. This produced a furious reaction from her, saying she demanded to meet me at the Cafe Del Quatro on Hacylon VI or there would be trouble.
I have decided to go down.
"I would advise against this, Captain." Worf advises me, "There is no telling what this young woman may be capable of."
"I agree, Mr Worf." I reply, "It is essential that we meet her and stop her in case she fastens on to another target in the future. You will have your entire security force there. Ensign Jennifer Baxter will have her multiphase distorter with her, and Ensign Britney will have her unbrella."
"Very well." the Enterprise Security Officer concedes, "We shall all be watching the Cafe closely."
A few hours later, I am sitting outside the Cafe Del Quatro enjoying the sun. Many of the passers-by are Enterprise crew who are there to make sure everything goes well. I am about to arder another Tyrolean brandy, when I hear a voice behind me.
"Hello darling." Valerie says softly, "I'm so glad you came.As soon as I saw you were coming, I switched off the missile aimed at this planet."
I go pale at this, as if I have been invited to a Conference to speak at Starfleet Headquarters. Valerie leans over and kisses my cheek.
The security forces move forward, but I use my hand to gesture them away. I want to find more about Valerie.
"Now...errr...Valerie." I start, "You can't go around blowing up planets. Why do you want to meet me?"
"Because I've always loved you, Jean-Luc!" Valerie replies angrily, "Don't you love me? I know you like redheads. Look at my body..."
I admit to myself that she is gorgeous, and beautiful...but I'm in love with Bev, and Valerie's elevator doesn't go to the top floor, is not playing with a full deck, six bricks short of a full load....
You get the idea...
Valerie holds my hand.
"Darling." she says to me lovingly, "It's time for us to leave, come on."
"Valerie." I answer quickly, "I'm sorry, but..."
As she holds my arms firmly, I see that her wrist has a band round it. Valie flips it open and dials a sequence of numbers. This spells trouble, and I look desperately towards nearby security staff, who are rushing to me.
Too late, as I feel both Valerie and I dematerialise and reappear elsewhere.
To be continued after TWQ.....